What does your confidence sound like ?

[m1469]

I mean, does it have a voice, so to speak ?  Does it have a certain tone ?  Does it say certain things ?


It might be tough to describe, but perhaps quite interesting and helpful too. 


m1469

[ce nedra]

Interesting topic...

For me there are 2 types, the one that speaks and the one that feels.

The one that speaks is the one that convinces me that I know my music, and myself, and that I am the best pianist in the world, right before I go on stage. Its the voice I argue with. And belive me, it always wins... it certainly doesnt take any of my sh!t.

The one that feels is the power that takes over when I walk on stage, and when I play. It does not talk, it just guides. It sets my mind, and heart and soul in focus and puts the performance in motion. It shuts out any distractions and irritation and hones in on the music alone.

There certainly must not be any interaction whatsoever between the first "voice confidence" (my mind) and the 2nd "emotional confidence" once the performance has begun (Once I have walked on stage) as the performance is beyond its control, but it ultimately tries to take over, filling in the silence with unneccesary chatter and thus, nervousness, panic, mental chaos, and almost an entire system shutdown... which results in sitting down at the piano and not knowing what note the stupid piece thats been practised for 6 months non-stop, starts on. Thus, a failed performance.

But by letting the emotional take over, there is no distraction,  there is no nerves, only music. The only importance. Not the audience, not the judges, not even the performer, just the music.

I hope this has answered your question? As I have just rambled on incoherently.. maybe what I am saying makes sense... maybe not... oh well.

All the best,
CN

[pianistimo]

it sounds good to me, until my teacher says it sounds bad.  then i have to discover what is wrong.  it sounds good before he tells me the exact problems.  guess i am sort of spoon fed.  i always thought i was really musical - but many things i simply never thought of before.  am good with fingering, forms, a little analyzing, i think feeling the music classically - but maybe not as passionately and 'romantically' as my teacher.  i just sort of tromp over the areas that he thinks should be lingered upon.  i'll never forget the look on his face when he was expecting more from a bar or so of mozart.  i happened to look up while playing and it was kind of like (puts hand over eyebrows, semi- disaster look).  mozart.  my favorite composer.  and i was trashing him.  my fantasy certainly wasn't my teachers.  (was playing mozart's fantasy)  i had a rather 'bold, get to it' fantasy - and his was a more 'linger here, linger there.'  who can get anything done that way?  men obviously don't do housework.  but, i see his point.  whenever you come to a huge dissonance, it's signifying something (just like dynamics) and is a sort of roadmap to your 'feelings' in the piece.  lingering over them gives a person a feeling of freedom within the piece instead of strict tempo.

*also, there's this little voice in the back of my head that says, 'if you take the tempo too slow, you might lose your spot.  also, if you get too passionate, you may fall off the bench and embarrass yourself.'   now, i am actually striving to obtain what i had at 16 or 17.  that unabashed confidence of youth (when you don't know what will happen next and don't care). 

[alessandro]

Dears,

m1469, you post such titillating items.  I can't find a voice that's close to something like confidence.  I rather can hear something like conscience.  And that voice sounds like my own voice.  It is my voice.  And it has in general a lack of confidence.  I'm mildly schizophrenic so it's often like a dialogue inside my head, different types of people talking to each other.  A mysanthropic, a Ghandi-type-of-guy, a macho, and old lady...  An image that came to my mind concerning inner-voice is a parrot sitting on an open cage in a velvet room.

Alessandro

[ted]

Although certainly desirable in interpretation, confidence is absolutely essential to improvisation and composition. Nothing interesting would ever happen if people were too timid to do new things. "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law". The sound of my confidence is just whatever music this directive happens to produce at the time. Quite a few people say they can detect "Tedness" in my old recordings of all styles going back thirty or more years. Curiously enough, I cannot always discern this; I now seem poles apart from the creature who made those recordings. I can listen to an old recording and say, "Oh, that's interesting !" but until the characteristic tape and background household noises start I am often unsure whether it is me or a piece taped off the radio. So the correct answer is that the sound of my confidence is this quality of "Tedness", whatever it is. I certainly do not know what it is because I am too close to the event.

[rc]

hahah, where do you get these ideas m1469?

Well, when I read the topic, my immediate reply didn't have much to do with music.

In regular life, my confidence is a silent, steady workhorse. Rather than any particular feeling of its own, it's more like the absense of any worries. Amid the babbling of doubts and anxieties, confidence is the voice that orders "Shut up and get on with it", then fades back, as we all obey (who's schizo now! ).

Alessandro: I think we can create our own 'inner voices' if we try. I distinctly remember having a sort of 'teacher' in my head while creating a practice routine and trying different ideas I'd read about here. Even reading over my journal entries, you can see that I write as if there are two people. Explaining my situation, giving myself advice, then deciding what 'we' should do...

I don't think true confidence can be faked. I've known a lot of people who like to talk themselves up to various degrees, I now recognize it as compensation. Someone who's skilled doesn't go around talking about how skilled they are, they simply do their thing, and others will notice and say how skilled they are. Actions don't lie so well as words can.

Confidence in music? Well I'm not too sure really, never thought about it. I guess I'm fairly fearless musically, even if I'm completely unprepared and can't finish the piece I will sit down and try, often surprising myself how well it comes off. I was known as a good improviser on guitar, an instrument that I had control of (also, only melody was expected of a guitar solo). I'm often complimented on my' musicality', I'm starting to believe it and have faith in myself. Now who's talking himself up .

[m1469]

hahah, where do you get these ideas m1469?

mmmmmdon'tmmknowmmmm


Anyway, thanks for all of these responses so far