When catastrophe strikes...

[lisztisforkids]

So the last month and a half has been a catastrophe for me.... My mom moved out, I bailed on a recital ultimatley severing ties with my teacher, went to the point of a mental breakdown. And then I got a terrible Sinus Infection that left me completely deaf in my left ear for 2 weeks... Between all of that I havent practiced for about 2 and a half weeks.. All of my plans to compete in comps this summer have been canceled, and at the moment I am teacherless... So now I am starting to panic.

Hahahahaha... Someday I will look back on this period of my life and laugh.

[henrah]

Keep your brows high, and remember the good times. It will all come round again, and there's always next year

Btw, love your signature...a constant loop!
Henrah

[lisztisforkids]

Keep your brows high, and remember the good times. It will all come round again, and there's always next year

Btw, love your signature...a constant loop!
Henrah

Yes, thank you.. I think that things are going to start getting better for me.

[timothy42b]

Find somebody to lean on, this is not a time to try and tough it out alone.

If nobody around, do it here. 

[pianistimo]

tim42b is right!  you cannot shoulder every problem as though it is your own, either.  i was doing this with my son (trying to take everything on - and practically be willing to do his homework with him 24/7).  but, today i don't feel like it is my responsibility to live his life.  just as it is not your fault or responsibility what your parents choose to do or not do.  the best you can do, is when you talk to your mom - to tell her that you miss her and love her - and hope she comes home when she's ready.  maybe she's having a short 'breakdown' too, of sorts, and needs time to sort things out.  don't worry forever about her - because you are young and have needs of your own, too.  she's old enough to take care of herself for awhile - and she'll work out her situation.

(take it from a mom - i've felt like going somewhere for a couple weeks, too!  if it wasn't for my four year old - i might have taken a mini- vacation somewhere just to get away from the housework alone). 

sorry to hear about your ear - your recital not being performed (as your TEACHER decided - which it's really not up to the teacher totally to say 'you're ready.')  just take your time on finding another teacher - and in the meantime, write a letter to your teacher explaining the background stuff you told us.  about being sick, your ear, your mom, the things going on - that sometimes teachers don't fully understand or hear or have time to hear in a lesson.  write the fact that you appreciate (under normal circumstances) him pushing you to do your best.  if the letter doesn't work and you don't hear anything back for more than a month - then start looking elsewhere.  even when you rant at a teacher (they'll understand).  everyone has bad days.  teachers rant, too. 

i think burning bridges is something terrible.  there has to be something between teachers and students like an amicable divorce even if you split.  to have shared so much before and then suddenly never talk again just seems a bit harsh!  students do outgrow certain teachers, but it doesn't mean you can't still have a friendship/mentor type relationship for as long as you can.  i should have kept in touch with my first real teacher much more.  i think he was always open and available to me - and being young i compared him at first to the next teacher i had in college (which was unfair because they both were good in different areas of music).  the first with bach and chamber music, and the second with liszt and schumann and more virtuosic piano repertoire.  i actually ended up being a lot more similar to my first teacher in terms of what i actually did with my music - and the virtuosic part slowly is developing - but i've done tons of 'chamber' type stuff with instruments/voice/choir.  also, because of my first teacher, i'm not scared of bach at all.  praise them for everything good that they taught you - and move on.  you'll find another teacher in no time - if you are sincerely outgrowing the one you had.

if your teacher is constantly learning himself/herself - you may have an important ally where you live as well.  mine started out teaching with the community college - but i think he is the head of the piano dept. at university of alaska now - or plays an important role there.  it is really funny how students change over time.  i thought someday i was going to be this 'concert artist' and now i see that what you are outside of the piano realm really makes who you are - and if you make it to the top, great - but breaking ties and hurting feelings is just pride.  knowing about how to play the piano is just one small aspect of a huge area that teachers deal with.  you are dealing with shaping people - and my first teacher was an excellent 'shaper' because he was a humble person (therefore easily taken advantage of, sometimes).  he always said his true feelings and yet was careful not to hurt others. in fact, he went out of his way to make sure all his students were treated well.  i don't remember anything bad about him. 

[Siberian Husky]

im going through a catastrophy myself..i cant decide to buy the ferrari or the porsche

[zheer]

When catastrophe strikes, Listen To Beethovens Music, you might start feeling better.

  Good God, if its going to make you feel better, i might as well confess, i know haw you feel, i have been there, all i can say to you is that you are very young and you have time to do things better, this year or even next year.

[gorbee natcase]

Take a holliday, have some time to contemplate your situation. A short break from your usual schedual where you can relax and de-stress yourself by preocupieing yourself with relaxing things to do and to put things into perspective.

Make a list of the things that are bothering you, and deal with each of the items that you can find a sollution for (i.e find another teacher,)will at give you a new rep/new ideas/ new focus and direction (all new). The things that are more difficult are always family things, and situations like that always have a way of sorting themselves out some way or another and it never is that bad. and if the outcome isn't perfect try and understanding  and come to terms with it ultimately thing will get easyer
It seems like you have many things that are affecting you right now, we are able to deal with these things if they come up here and there in life, so for all this to come at once must be putting a strain on your mental and physical well being. take a break

                                                                             best wishes Luke

[Mozartian]

im going through a catastrophy myself..i cant decide to buy the ferrari or the porsche

ferrari. deep blue one. 

[lisztisforkids]

Thank you everybody for your advice and support... Especially Pianistimo.

When catastrophe strikes, Listen To Beethovens Music, you might start feeling better.

Yeah, Beethoven really helps a lot... His power washes over me.

[soliloquy]

How come people only ask themselves deep questions when they're in crisis, and then forget anything they learned when things get better?

[pianistimo]

i think innately we do know what's going on.  that's why lisztisforkids probably got ill in the first place.  as we get older, we learn how to control things a bit more, and if it's something out of our control we learn how to deal with things so it doesn't cause us a nervous breakdown (sometimes).

yesterday was a very bad day for me.  the day previously, my hubby and i were on cloud 9 so to speak.  we went to dinner, were talking alot, enjoying each others company to the point that we spent hours that evening together.  the next day, we both weren't feeling well.  (i think the weather suddenly changed from hot tocold) and he got laryngitis and i was really crabby from several disappointments and things that bugged me during the day.  he made me late for an appointment last night (although i was late picking him up from work the day before because i got lost trying to take a short cut).  anyway- i was mad at him and completely lost it.  slamming the door.  not accepting any apology.  and when he waved goodbye as one last attempt at reconciliation - i drove off at 100 mph without looking back.  my son looked over and laughed - and that broke it for me.  then, i started realizing how silly i was being.  so, even adults lose it and have bad days - and forget what they are supposed to do and be like.

the good thing is that if you are dealing with a person who is a family member, they are likely to know you more and forgive you when you tell them you just couldn't take that 'last straw.'  usually after each person explains their day and what happened - you understand how the stress can build up.  taking anger out on loved ones isn't very good , but more likely to happen because you live together and are in close proximity.  maybe more than being perfect - it is ideal to know how to make up.

[Torp]

Someday I will look back on this period of my life and laugh.

Make that day today.  Having the ability to find humor in the circumstances life throws our way is a great skill to have.