If you were talking lessons in a school...

[barnowl]

...and you were the only adult in the whole shebang, would you participate in the recitals?

I told my teacher I would, but have changed my mind. I just can't bear the thought of it all - unless I get to wear a Lord Fauntleroy outfit. 

https://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&hl=en&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=Lord+Fauntleroy+outfit&spell=1

[m1469]

It depends... if a person needs the performing experience, I would suggest performing anyway, even if surrounded by children.  The needed performing experience should come before un-needed pride, in my opinion.  However, at the same time, a student needs to recognize when s/he has actually grown out of certain circumstances, and by continuing within them, limits his or her progress.  Either way, progress is the key.

So, whichever you feel may best promote your own progress, that is what matters most.  All of the rest of the decisions will follow... including what outfit to wear .


m1469

[barnowl]

It's not the kids I'm worrying about, but their parents.

"What is this old coot doing — trying to show up my Clarence? Is he so egomaniacal that he feels compelled to compete with children?"

I know, I know, it isn't a competition but parents will see it that way. There are 300 kids studying at this school, and all their Moms and Dads will be there.

Can't do it. My teacher's going to be disappointed in me.

But, uh, if they throw in the Lord Fauntleroy suit, and let me keep it...

[m1469]

But that's my point.  If your teacher has asked you to participate, then obviously s/he wants you there and knows you have a right place there.  If parents take it in the way you describe, that is not your problem but theirs.  Is that why you are doing it ?  To show up the kids ?  I would guess the reason you are doing it boils down to it being about the music... it's always about the music.

Are you going to hold back from participating in performances for the rest of your life because some people *may* or may not take it a certain way if you do perform ?   Where does that leave you ?  It leaves you living your life around what other people decide for you... or you thinking they are deciding for you.  Or, worse yet, letting your own self ruin your true dreams by convincing you to not even try.

Besides that, I have found that other parents actually find it encouraging to see adults up there doing something they want to do.  I have gained several adult students that way... having an adult in my recitals playing with the rest of my students... and then parents seeing it happen.  It inspires them to reach for something too, and feel like if they wanted to, they also have a right to sit at the bench and play... even in front of people.

Good luck !

m1469

[barnowl]

You know, m1469, you're right.

Fact is, yesterday I was talking to a woman I love (in the most socially acceptable way), and mentioned my reluctance to perform at the November recital. This was before I saw your latest post.

She said, "But what about adults in the audience. Maybe there's one  who wants to take up piano, and if you perform it will inspire them to do it."

Then you come along, say the same thing and add a lot more.

Looks like I'm fated to play. Thanks. (I hope.  )

[m1469]

The universe is looking at you  .  Well, part of the great thing about you doing this is that it is going to give you experience actually *dealing with* the fears that surround it, vs running away from them -- not always easy nor fun, though often quite rewarding.  No matter what, at least it is not you pulling the rug out from underneath yourself, now.  My best regards, and please keep us updated .


m1469

[Bob]

I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks.  If you're taking lessons, it's good to perform.  For you own good.  If you pay the same for lessons, you should be able to do the recital.

The thought that an adult is competing with the other students never would have entered my mind.  I would just think it's great that anyone is taking lessons and is performing.  If someone sees it as a competition, that's their business, but there are so many things that affect it, it's not an even field.

Just use a piece that's appropriate.  I can see putting an adult in the middle of the group or toward the end just based on age.  Most of the recitals I've seen are ordered by ability.

I have also seen adults do a duet with another adult, their child, or their teacher.

If you are the only adult who performs, you might encourage other adults to perform in the future.

[barnowl]

I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks.  If you're taking lessons, it's good to perform.  For you own good.  If you pay the same for lessons, you should be able to do the recital.

The thought that an adult is competing with the other students never would have entered my mind.  I would just think it's great that anyone is taking lessons and is performing.  If someone sees it as a competition, that's their business, but there are so many things that affect it, it's not an even field.

Just use a piece that's appropriate.  I can see putting an adult in the middle of the group or toward the end just based on age.  Most of the recitals I've seen are ordered by ability.

I have also seen adults do a duet with another adult, their child, or their teacher.

If you are the only adult who performs, you might encourage other adults to perform in the future.

Bob, I know I'm the one adult my teacher has, and I'm pretty sure the only other grownup who performs here is the school's Administrative Assistant. .

And thanks for your encouragement. I'm going to do it. It's just a matter of selecting a piece, and working my tail off on it.

I'd love to do a duet with my teacher. She is drop dead gorgeous and all eyes will be on her.

[allthumbs]

It's not the kids I'm worrying about, but their parents.

"What is this old coot doing — trying to show up my Clarence? Is he so egomaniacal that he feels compelled to compete with children?"

I know, I know, it isn't a competition but parents will see it that way. There are 300 kids studying at this school, and all their Moms and Dads will be there.

Can't do it. My teacher's going to be disappointed in me.

But, uh, if they throw in the Lord Fauntleroy suit, and let me keep it...

I would say, show up in the 'Little Lord Fauntleroy' outfit anyway and bring your parents to the performance.


Cheers

allthumbs

[princess_moose]

I was the eldest performer at my old school by a good few years and I felt a bit weird at time as I felt I shouldn't be performing, I should let the younger ones get experience. However everyone seemed to like my performances and the younger musicians said they were inspired..so that's good .