What's the best way to destroy an upright?

[pies]

Looking for a quick and effective way.

[allthumbs]

I saw someone use a bomb once. He blowed up real goood.

[nicco]

It will make nice firewood

[tac-tics]

Give a child a blunt object and come back in 10 minutes. My family lost our piano that way as did a good friend of mine.

[henrah]

Put it on the back of a cow and go cow tipping. It'll be more effective than just tipping it over from the ground cos the cow gives it more height.


Another idea, which is even better and more productive, is to take it apart and take out the strings part and lay it down flat. Then strum away! My friend did it with a piano my school had put in the skip, and it's great fun! Specially when you just lob a bunch of small pebbles at it, makes a great sound

[emmdoubleew]

Why would you do that?

Donate it to a school.

[Bob]

I saw on tv one launched off a catapult.  That's an interesting idea.

Take it apart.  See how it works.  Practice tuning it.

If it's usable a school.  Or maybe some piano technician can use it for spare parts.  Or some college music program.  They would find something to do with it.

[tac-tics]

Why would you do that?

Donate it to a school.

Brilliant!

Donate it to my school (Illinois State University).


I don't think there's a single in-tune piano on that entire campus. As far as I know, the best piano in the entire city belongs to the Van Maur clothing store in the College Hills plaza.

[pies]

Put it on the back of a cow and go cow tipping. It'll be more effective than just tipping it over from the ground cos the cow gives it more height.

I've already tipped it over once without any noticeable effect.

Why would you do that?

I am quitting. I have lost hope.

Brilliant!

Donate it to my school (Illinois State University).


I don't think there's a single in-tune piano on that entire campus. As far as I know, the best piano in the entire city belongs to the Van Maur clothing store in the College Hills plaza.

I'd rather sell it for a few bucks or have fun destroying it.

[anda]

donate it to some poor child who can't afford one!

and if you still insist on destroying it... try liszt TE

[gilad]

i heard an advert on the radio the other day asking people to donate unused instruments to their school for disadvantaged children. i wish i could help them out.

[barnowl]

I saw on tv one launched off a catapult.  That's an interesting idea.

You beat me to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[sharon_f]

https://www.historylink.org/essays/output.cfm?file_id=1388

https://troyhartman.com/pianodrop.htm

https://www.music.ed.ac.uk/euchmi/galpin/gxkta.html
(About a 3rd of the way down is a story about a piano bonfire in Atlantic City in 1904.)

Or play some Sorabji on it.  (Sorry, I know that was bad...but I couldn't resist.)

[henrah]

Seriously, take the backboard with the strings out and lay it on the ground, then pluck away! And throwing pebbles onto it makes a hella funny sound!

[emmdoubleew]

I'd rather sell it for a few bucks or have fun destroying it.

You're an idiot. You have a chance to make dozens of young pianists happy, but youd rather satisfy yourself.

[pies]

You're an idiot. You have a chance to make dozens of young pianists happy, but youd rather satisfy yourself.

I don't think it would make others happy; it's quite a bad/damaged spinet.  Young pianists would be better off not playing at all than practicing on mine.

[timothy42b]

I vote for dropping it off a tall building.

Make sure to have a couple people with video cameras standing down below.

Oh, and one above, just in case!!!!!!!!!!

[emmdoubleew]

I don't think it would make others happy; it's quite a bad/damaged spinet.  Young pianists would be better off not playing at all than practicing on mine.

If you really think it's that bad of a piano, then I'm sorry I called you an idiot. If you just want to have fun being distructive, please think it through.

[Mozartian]

I am quitting. I have lost hope.

Again?

[henrah]

Take the backboard out and play around, it's great fun! Really, really do it, for me!

[donjuan]

whether or not you are going to donate it should not depend on the condition of the instrument.  It is your piano, you payed for it, and you can do whatever you want with it without feeling obligated to help anyone.

If I knew a millionaire who didn't want to give any of his money to charity, I wouldnt pass judgement; it's his money.  of course, it would still be a kind gesture (unless he's just doing it for reputation) to do so.
----------
that said, I think a fun way to destroy it is to put pins in the hammers and make cool sounds until the strings snap

after that, take the keys out and make a piece of art with em

take the soundboard out, hang it up and turn it into a gong

*EDIT:  just saw this: 

Looking for a quick and effective way.

yeah, my vote goes for the ax.  do it for firewood, as nicco said  and throw the metal parts out on the lawn like a redneck

[pianistimo]

try refinishing it before you donate it.  ahhahahahaha.  i must be in a strange mood tonight.  it's the lightening storm.  seriously, the worst thing i ever did was refinish the kitchen chairs.  they've never been the same.  they looked really nice, but did not match the cupboards of our old house.  should have left them alone because now the chairs would probably be ok in this house if i hadn't touched them.  (ended up painting them black and stenciling on them.  they look shabby chic now).

[pies]

Again?

Yes.  This time I want to set it in stone; seeing my piano, even with its flaws and my technical flaws, is tempting.

[emmdoubleew]

If I knew a millionaire who didn't want to give any of his money to charity, I wouldnt pass judgement; it's his money.  of course, it would still be a kind gesture (unless he's just doing it for reputation) to do so.

The anology I had in mind "If I knew a millionaire who didn't want to give any of his money to charity but would rather burn it."

But apparently the piano is in aweful shape, so it's probably not worth donating.

[pianiststrongbad]

I would seriously consider giving it away to a school.  Lots of public schools are looking for pianos because the ones they own don't even play any more.

Though if you are completely set on destroying the thing, I would say first get a video camera and tape it because I want to be able to watch it.

[burgoofj]

Trebuchet!

[donjuan]

Trebuchet!

https://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=https://www.fitz-claridge.com/Images/trebuchet2th.jpg&imgrefurl=https://www.fitz-claridge.com/Trebuchet/piano.html&h=399&w=450&sz=158&tbnid=l4DwISBmtRrx3M:&tbnh=109&tbnw=124&hl=en&start=1&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2Bpiano%2Btrebuchet%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D

[gilad]

i saw the catapulting of a piano, he aslo did a car right?
well, if you're gonna do. it i'd axe the crap out of the case. or maybe first use it to play darts for a while.

[quantum]

Have you tried improvising?  Well I mean wild improv like playing with your feet.    What about prepared piano, and sticking bolts, nails, screws, and other objects between the strings.  Try playing the strings with other objects, like sticks or screwdrivers. 

Find a local university with music students who have very radical ideas for playing the piano.  I'm sure they would love to have one that they don't have to worry about destroying. 

If you do anything like this please video tape it then post it here!!!!

[Tash]

yeah i think there was once a performance artist who smashed a piano for whatever artistic reason. or turn it into a prepared piano so it makes cool bizarre sounds. Meanwhile i want to turn my piano into a table when it dies. Maybe frame part of it on a wall...

[jlh]

Here's an idea:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=832ApdjhMcs

 

[jlh]

Here's a photo "how to" tutorial to destroying a piano:

https://www.the-wabe.com/roadtrip/logs/2003/0309/01.html

[jlh]

yeah i think there was once a performance artist who smashed a piano for whatever artistic reason.

https://www.iamas.ac.jp/~aka/pdo/index-e.html

"First of all, let's destroy the piano as an incarnation of Western rationalism.

Play the requiem, wear the death costume, prepare the hammer and chainsaw.

The computer is listening to the agony of death in its last, bittersweet melody.

We will now distribute the corpse of the piano..."

https://delit.net/music/prelisten/0/452042.m3u

[Bob]

This is an opportunity to do a one of a kind performance.

Do one of those 20th century pieces where you blow it up.

Or, set the piano on fire while you play for dramatic effect.

[pianogeek_cz]

Or, set the piano on fire while you play for dramatic effect.

Like play Vers la Flamme with the piano burning... 

[Tash]

This is an opportunity to do a one of a kind performance.

Do one of those 20th century pieces where you blow it up.

Or, set the piano on fire while you play for dramatic effect.

yes, and to make it more effective, do it in a public place, naked of course

[bananafish]

I think you should just save it for winter wood. Play Ritual Fire Dance while you are at it.

Wait a minute. It suddenly occur me that if you did save it for winter wood, wouldn't it go along the lines of murdering someone and then eat their flesh?

[henrah]

Wait a minute. It suddenly occur me that if you did save it for winter wood, wouldn't it go along the lines of murdering someone and then eat their flesh?

Not at all. Unless you ate the wood you were saving for a cold day.

[bartolomeo_]

The only reason to destroy an upright is if, as a result of remodelling, you can no longer get it out of the room it's in.  This happens most frequently with basements.

Otherwise it's easier to haul the instrument to the landfill in one piece, or take it to a location where it can be safely burned.

If you're stuck with one in the basement, there are a bunch of obvious pieces that come off.  Fall, top cover, music desk, action, keys.  Then the conventional wisdom is that you should detension the strings with a tuning hammer and then cut them next to the capo bar with an angle grinder.  It's dangerous work that calls for goggles and heavy gloves.  Then you can remove the strings.  Once the strings are gone you can unscrew the plate and haul it away, cutting it up with the angle grinder if absolutely necessary (a slow job).  Then you can cut up the case using a sawzall or something similar.

[classicalfan]

Set it on fire and record yourself playing prelude/f 1 by bach while it burns.

[hiline]

Set it on fire and record yourself playing prelude/f 1 by bach while it burns.

I would not be near a piano when it is burning. The burned paint is poisonous.

[pies]

I posted a few vids of me playing the piano in question.
https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php/topic,18535.0.html