Just Ask Bob

[m1469]

Thalbergmad gave me a great idea by starting my computer genius thread, I feel it is high time we ask Bob some things... anything, actually.

I would like to start (I suspect that pianistimo and perhaps others, too, will have some good answers) :


Dear Bob,

I would like to know what kind of hairspray you use on your armpit hair, perhaps you could give me some good pointers based on what you do ?

Also, do you generally recommend sleeping on peanut shells ? 

And one last one if you don't mind too terribly much :

How much do you charge for the costumes hanging in your closet ?  I am thinking about renting one, probably your llama costume because I would really like to spit on somebody but I feel it's probably not in my best interest to do that dressed as myself.  If I were wearing your llama costume, I could spit on this person and life would seem reasonable.


Thanks in advance,
m1469

[pianistimo]

good answers or questions for bob? 

ok.  bob, i'll answer your questions for you because this is a really mean spirited thread.  i can see through mayla.  she's in one of those 'moods.'  i told her to take some pills.

1.  bob is sexier than you think and he does not use hairspray under his arms.  you are confusing him with your chicken husband.

2. peanut shells generally crack and make too much noise to sleep on comfortably.  i would use hay - if bob slept in a barn.  but bob is not your husband, is he?

3. bob doesn't need a llama costume because if he wanted a llama he'd get a real one. 

[pianistimo]

mayla, don't take this personally and start spitting.  where did you develop this unsocial behavior.  did you also grow up in an orphanage?  are you missing the half of your brain that socializes normally?  well, don't take my advice, then.  i've always had a slight problem from a concussion i had years ago ( i think).  thal thinks these things are solved by taking pills.  i think we should just let the mood run it's course.  you'll feel better in the morning.

[m1469]

Ms pianistimo, this is not a mean-spirited thread.  At least my contributions are not 

[pianistimo]

you just said you wanted to 'spit on somebody.'  why?  why does spitting become so important in bob's question thread?  did bob say something?  is bob doubling as a sort of punching bag?

[m1469]

you just said you wanted to 'spit on somebody.'  why? 

Because I felt like it.

why does spitting become so important in bob's question thread?

It's not.  But you seem to want it to be. 

did bob say something?

I am pretty sure Bob actually knows how to talk.  It is therefore probable that he has said something by this point in his life.

is bob doubling as a sort of punching bag?

That's an excellent question for Bob wouldn't you say ?  Bob ?

[bernhard]

you just said you wanted to 'spit on somebody.'

Actually, amongst the Fremen of Arrakis, spitting on somebody is a great honour (You are "making a gift of your water" - you see, water is sacred and highly prized in Arrakis). I believe there is a similar tradition amongst North American Indians as well.

I am not sure about Llamas motivations though.

I also think that Tibetans do something similar (with the best intentions), so a Lama costume may fit in better here.

BW
B.

[tds]

BW
B.

bern, anytime i see the above, it reminds me of BBW.

perhaps you wanna spell the longer version out next time...or not

[thalbergmad]

Actually, amongst the Fremen of Arrakis, spitting on somebody is a great honour

This is the same with Milwall supporters.

Thal

[le_chat]

mayla, don't take this personally and start spitting.  where did you develop this unsocial behavior.  did you also grow up in an orphanage?  are you missing the half of your brain that socializes normally?  well, don't take my advice, then.  i've always had a slight problem from a concussion i had years ago ( i think).  thal thinks these things are solved by taking pills.

Datz ryt pianistimo, da bezt pillz are the one labeled "LSD," itz a pill which reconztructz your brain cellz aftah dey are damaged from concuzzionz.

 

[pianistimo]

le_chat, i'm too old to even be on this forum - but to young of heart to quit.  it makes me feel energetic in some strange way.  kind of like music.  i think music is the fountain of youth - and young pianists the random sparkles of color in the water.  no need for lsd or anything like that.  once a brain injury always a brain injury.  but, more likely that concussion was a bad sledding accident where i died for a moment only to be reborn with a different mind.  one that never took on major problems.  a sort of stress free existence.  of course, God plays a bigger role in that one than brain function - but i'd say on the whole between music, love, and God - there's no bigger high.

[Bob]

.

[BoliverAllmon]

Actually, amongst the Fremen of Arrakis, spitting on somebody is a great honour (You are "making a gift of your water" - you see, water is sacred and highly prized in Arrakis). I believe there is a similar tradition amongst North American Indians as well.

I am not sure about Llamas motivations though.

I also think that Tibetans do something similar (with the best intentions), so a Lama costume may fit in better here.

BW
B.

I was reading a biography of a Marine Chaplain. He was telling a story about when he ran out of water to perform a baptism in the Kuwaiti desert therefore he just used spit to baptize with.

boliver

[pianistimo]

raises hand really high.  bob, I have a question!  pick me pick me. 

you cannot be submerged in spit can you?  i thought baptism had to be total immersion.

maybe considering the circumstances - the ideal would not to be submerged - but to submerge ones mind mentally to the deathly situation surrounding them.

[Bob]

.

[pianistimo]

bob, my own question would be - why did you pick this particular mountain?

[Bob]

.

[BoliverAllmon]

raises hand really high.  bob, I have a question!  pick me pick me. 

you cannot be submerged in spit can you?  i thought baptism had to be total immersion.

maybe considering the circumstances - the ideal would not to be submerged - but to submerge ones mind mentally to the deathly situation surrounding them.

baptism can be by total immersion or not. I don't think it matters one way or another. I look at it this way. If a soldier in the middle of a desert wants to accept Christ and be baptized for his sins, what does it matter if it is immersion or pouring of water or spit in this case. I think God looks at the heart. This soldier is completely giving his life over to Him and that is what  matters.

boliver

[pianistimo]

but, remember your own words a while back - 'this is a volcano.'  why do you want to sit atop a volcano?

[pianistimo]

i agree boliver.  but, what about bob?  is he going to be baptized by fire?  let's get bob off this mountain NOW!

[BoliverAllmon]

but, remember your own words a while back - 'this is a volcano.'  why do you want to sit atop a volcano?

I am totally lost now. what volcano?

[thalbergmad]

Because it is there.

Bob uses old Mallory quote.

Borrowed wisdom is as powerful.

Thal

[pianistimo]

don't worry bob.  we're just trying to scare you and see if you are really as unshakable as you look.  sitting there eating whilst answering questions. 

[thalbergmad]

Sitting on top of a volcano is bad enough, but according to the Guiness Book of Records, St Simeon sat on top of a pole for 40 years.

He must have had a sore arse.

Thal

[ahinton]

Sitting on top of a volcano is bad enough, but according to the Guiness Book of Records, St Simeon sat on top of a pole for 40 years.

He must have had a sore arse.

Thal

So he is said to have done - well, not a "pole", quite - I think he was supposed to have spen a long time atop a pillar or something. Křenek even wrote an opera on the subject (though I don't think he got a sore arse as a direct consequence...)

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

So he is said to have done - well, not a "pole", quite - I think he was supposed to have spen a long time atop a pillar or something. Křenek even wrote an opera on the subject (though I don't think he got a sore arse as a direct consequence...)

Best,

Alistair

Perhaps he got sore ears instead.

Thal

[pianorama]

What does
 
 BW
 B                     stand for?

[ahinton]

Perhaps he got sore ears instead.

Thal

Speaking as a composer, I should point out that one does not usually get sore ears from composing.

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

best wishes, bernhard  (it's his signature farewell)

[barnowl]

good answers or questions for bob? 

ok.  bob, i'll answer your questions for you because this is a really mean spirited thread.

I agree with you Pianistimo. I'm frankly surprised at her rancor. But when I first came here and went into the chat room, she was nasty there, too.

She should be called Mala instead of m1469.

[pianistimo]

she's just mad for a day or so - then the weather clears.  i think she wanted more responses on the brahms.  but this is a piano forum - so there's not as many people experienced with voice.  maybe there's a few vocal forums, too.  she's no doubt a real teacher and vocalist.  just a little frustrated right now.  i understand.  some days go well and others don't.  whether it's students, your husband (thankfully mine has been really good lately - but you have to keep telling them what you want), nutrition, sleep, whatever - and as women become more self-aware - they are more likely to say what they think which may or may not offend people.  i takem1469as truly herself and not trying to be nice when she is in a bad mood.  it doesn't bother me as much as i make it out to be.

barnowl, what have you been up to?  flying any more glider planes?  that was a rip seeing you take off and land in total quietness.  not to mention the white face of the instructor and your beaming jolly red face.  a couple of months back i thought it was you circling my house.  so i waved.  and the plane circled two more times.  i thought you were going to parachute out - and i prayed 'oh, dear God, please let the parachute open.'  btw, my cell phone has been mute for about 4 years.  occasionally letting the ring of the paganini variations finish it's course.  i never pick up anymore. 

[BoliverAllmon]

Speaking as a composer, I should point out that one does not usually get sore ears from composing.

Best,

Alistair

notice the word usually. apparently you haven't met me when composing. bwahahahahaha

[barnowl]

flying any more glider planes?  that was a rip seeing you take off and land in total quietness.  not to mention the white face of the instructor and your beaming jolly red face.  a couple of months back i thought it was you circling my house.  so i waved.  and the plane circled two more times.  i thought you were going to parachute out - and i prayed 'oh, dear God, please let the parachute open.'  btw, my cell phone has been mute for about 4 years.  occasionally letting the ring of the paganini variations finish it's course.  i never pick up anymore. 

That wasn't me. I fly WWII bombers for a hobby, and look more like Gregory peck circa "Twelve O'Clock High"

[pianistimo]

sorry i mixed you up with a man who almost killed himself in front of me. apparrently the wind got them too close to a mountain side and the instructor kept telling the guy to make minimal movements with the stick and he really tried to.  he was an experienced pilot. 

wwIIbombers?  those must be beastly to fly.  you must be an experienced pilot, too. 

sometimes i wear a swimsuit when i mow the lawn - so i was just wondering if it was my friend or a random pilot just coming back and circling the house.  it happened three times.  the first time i just waved.  maybe he thought something was wrong?  as he left he did a complete spin sideways.  i was thinking that only my friend was that kind of crazy to do 360's.  he's in the lower range of his seventies and i was surprised they let him in the plane.

my own grandfather was a pilot who lived in north pole alaska.  he used to fly bananas to russia.  not kidding.

[thalbergmad]

Speaking as a composer, I should point out that one does not usually get sore ears from composing.

Best,

Alistair

Speaking as a listener, I sometimes do.

I listened to that English Country Tunes last night and that gave me sore ears.

Thal

[cziffra]

how long does it take for your eyebrows to grow back after you shave them?

[thalbergmad]

Dear Bob,

I want to join a monastary but still keep all my Playboy collection.

Can you help please??

Thal

[pianistimo]

bob is listening to a band concert at the moment.  he cannot be bothered by trivialities. 

[barnowl]

Is this drek supposed to be funny? It's so mindless, I have unsuscribed.

[Bob]

.

[BoliverAllmon]

LOL

[Bob]

.

[thalbergmad]

Is this drek supposed to be funny? It's so mindless, I have unsuscribed.
[/q1uote]

1. No

2. Yes

3. Good

[BoliverAllmon]

Bob unrolls a scroll and reads....

"The god of the shirts of T has noted that the t-shirts are not selling and commands that all buy one or two."

Well, that's what it says.  We don't want to disappoint the gods. 

no I don't want to anger the gods. where can I buy one?

[Bob]

.

[BoliverAllmon]

oh I know you cannot lie, so what is the address?

[thalbergmad]

oh I know you cannot lie, so what is the address?

Put you money in an envelope and just write Bob on it.

He is so famous the Post Office will no where to send it.

For security purposes, his actual address is top secret.

Thal

[pianistimo]

wait, barnowl!  don't unsubscribe.  we need you to fly the wwIIbomber one last time to deliver this letter.  a careful drop with a stone attached should do the trick.  or, perhaps, a food package (i'll make some whole wheat brownies).  maybe a stack of thal's magazines for weight.

[Bob]

.