Haw successfully are you.

[zheer]

  Just from a scale ov 1 - 10 haw successfull would you say you are.

[pianistimo]

1-10 is a pain level indicator.  i think i've had a lot of pain in my life...and overcome it - therefore even if i wasn't successful today, i'd know how to react to both good and bad situations.  i don't let bad situations rule my thoughts.  i gather all my problems into a hairball and put it in God's loving palms.  it's amazing, because just when you think you can't take another day of 'whatever' - then the trial lifts and you are in a better situation than before.

success is all in the mind.  and, God's word.  He says you are successful when you care about other people.

misnomer:

you are only successful if you can pay your bills
you are hot
you drive a hot car
you live a hot life
you own a pawn shop
you wear lots of jewelry
you eat out a lot (i could qualify on that one)

ok. here's how i see.  typically people get laid off about 3-4 or more times in their lifetime.  what goes up must come down.  you learn to bargain.  get better at managing debt.  grow a garden.  do stuff until you get another job.  it's only people who give up and drink or sit on the couch that lose.  you have to actively work at something very hard every day.  (yes, i know - i am on piano forum too much).

we learned about debt consolidation and that helped us a lot for 3-4 years that we had it.  now we are out of debt (thanks to God).  it feels good.

about working at something every day - even if you don't have a job - just get OUT of the house.  it's very tempting to get depressed and live in your house.  go for a walk.  meet some people.  maybe volunteer to help an elderly person do some chores or errands (they always need help).  or, remember what your hobbies were and turn them into a p/t job.  i had very young children each time we were unemployed.  don't know why it happened like that - but i grew a garden, sewed stuff, and taught piano lessons.  we ate a lot of tomato sandwiches one summer.  but, my kids were very happy so it was a poor happy situation.  we even had to go get some food at a food bank.  it was interesting to see it from the other side.  this is how God gets us to have real compassion.  i used to give to the food bank.  now i was taking.  it felt bad at first - and then i realized that it wasn't a bad thing.  i'd rather have accepted help than been away from my children and had to pay for babysitting anyway.

[zheer]

  You know playing the piano can be a narrow minded thing at times, i like your out look on life.

[pianistimo]

thanks.  when i was younger i sort of looked at some older people that 'had it all' and thought that having things was success.  now i realize that things are things - and you probably WILL have all the things you need and want as you get older.  they're easy to find (bargains).  a new couch.  a refrigerator.  whatever.  then, you think you need more and more after that.  all people really need is a boyfriend or girlfriend and a bottle of champagne.

seriously, a husband or wife is a good thing to find because they encourage you when you feel low.  and, if one spouse or other has a job then the one that is unemployed can take their time getting a job.  or, like me, rarely work.  but, i work very hard at things that don't pay.  i clean, cook (occasionallY), laundry, pay bills, do aLL the gardening including mowing the lawn (as my son has a job and mows other lawns), take the kids here and there, to school, the list seems endless. 

a mentor is second best (or maybe even first best? if you don't want diapers).  someone you just follow around and watch.  someone who's a multimillionare but looks like a guy who owns a bookstore.  there's a lot of people around here that look fairly normal but are extremely talented or know how to sell real estate.  some are shifty.  others are not.  some talk a lot about themselves.  others are quiet.  my neighbor is very quiet.  she quietly goes on extended vacations.  she last went to peru.

[zheer]

   I had a very long conversation with the a number of X married men, and they all told me not marry, since its a death sentence, you know till death do as part. Hmmmmmm what do you think and be honest.

[pianistimo]

i happen to think that my first two boyfriends (of which the second wasn't really a 'boyfriend' - but jsut a friend) would have been bad matches.  the first looked like my brother and we hit it off immediately.  we both liked to go outdooors a lot and we liked to ski.  we had a lot of fun.  but, he started doing drugs.  i quit the relationship.  i told him so.  then, i realized i was too young to make life decisions anyway and just started doing other things.  he went away to college and i never saw him again. 

the second guy was not of the same culture.  it was appealing to me - but only works for certain people.  in his culture - women were more homebound.  i don't think he would appreciate me going to grad school.  but, maybe i'm wrong.  he was very nice and very thoughtful and careful with his words.

now, i am with and married to a person with whom i  trust implicitly.  and he does me.  we've had ups and downs, but i feel very very much happier with him.  if you meet the right person - you can just be yourself and they still love you very very much.  he is very sweet to me always.  in fact, he calls me 'sweet.'  i've given him a lot of headaches when i get mad - so he has probably been the one to suffer the most.  women can be very cruel.  but, we make up for it in other ways.  i mean, i've saved him countless times when he's driving on the freeway and doesn't see a lane change.  maybe perfection is when you start dwelling on everything good in the other person and not that they fart.  he still does things that make me laugh - but, because we know each other - it's like an identifier.  you know it's the person you love because of 'such and such.' 

[lau]

just curious, why "haw"?  Is it really the way you say and spell it, or is it some sort of slang such as

respect

da (substituted for the)

possibly

and basically substituting z's for s's

-tribute from the DASC ( I always foget the acronym for it)

[jre58591]

hahahah, an sdc crack. btw its DASDC. btw, i think he says "haw" instead of "how" because he is still catching on to the english language.

[thalbergmad]

   I had a very long conversation with the a number of X married men, and they all told me not marry, since its a death sentence, you know till death do as part. Hmmmmmm what do you think and be honest.

I know many married men that wish they had not.

The problem with women is that once you put a ring on their finger, they get complacent. They turn fat and ugly and don't make the effort between the sheets any more.

Better to stay single and play the field.

Thal