Washing Up

[thalbergmad]

Well, for the first time in 26 years, i have done the dishes.

I have written to Ross McWhirter to see if this is a record and if i might be included in next years Guiness Book of Records.

Has anyone managed to avoid it longer then this?

Discuss

Thali

[pianistimo]

you mean for someone else?  mental martin.  in the shetlands.  was this out of the goodness of your heart - or did you have an ulterior motive.  perhaps a borrowing of the outboard motor boat or some fishing pole needed?  what is going on over there?

[thalbergmad]

I think you need a new doctor.

Thali

[pianistimo]

i have never met a doctor that i didn't know how to diagnose.  therefore, i suggest you stop laughing and answer my questions.  i can see through the disguises.  it is a penitant move and you think it assures you favor with the sea gods.

[pianolist]

They must have been awfully smelly by now.

[thalbergmad]

i have never met a doctor that i didn't know how to diagnose.  therefore, i suggest you stop laughing and answer my questions.  i can see through the disguises.  it is a penitant move and you think it assures you favor with the sea gods.

Ever since watching Jason and the Argonauts, i have always offered a prayer to the sea gods before sailing.

If Allah wills it, I will survive.

Thali

[pianistimo]

i beg of you to think twice.  my brother took a little sailboat out and passed the harbor he was intending three times.  each time he tried to turn around, the whole durn sail about knocked everyone overboard.  the water was churning.  and, my daughter was onboard.  at least they didn't get lost at sea.

ps i love my bro very much, but he is known for crazy behavior.  no sense in killing innocent children over this.  exciting days - when you are young and take chances right and left.  don't forget your age, thal.  how realistic is it to swim to shore? although those pics of yourself make me think you'd be fine.

[thalbergmad]

i beg of you to think twice.  my brother took a little yacht out and passed the harbor three times.  each time he tried to turn around, the whole durn sail about knocked everyone overboard.  the water was churning.  and, my daughter was onboard.  at least they didn't get lost at sea. 

Well, i will in fact be on a 10,000 tonne ferry.

Liszt might have gone on a little yacht, but not me.

Thali

[pianistimo]

that's reassuring.  say, it did cross my mind that you were trying to leave your mum with a pleasant remembrance of you.

[ahinton]

Well, for the first time in 26 years, i have done the dishes.

I have written to Ross McWhirter to see if this is a record and if i might be included in next years Guiness Book of Records.

Has anyone managed to avoid it longer then this?

Discuss

Thali

This begs more questions (and comments) than you might think.

Firstly, I thought that you had women to do this kind of thing for you (and, if this statement proves anything at all, it is that I do ready your posts).

Secondly, have you first ensured that Ross McWhirter is still alive?

Thirdly, the book that you mention is now called merely "Guinness World Records (××××)".

Fourthly, "Guinness" is spelt as I have here.

Lastly, in place of the (apparently mythical) women who do your dishes for you, I use only one such woman to do mine; her name is Miele, she is German, she can keep going for almost two hours if the desired programme is hot enough and she hardly ever requires maintenance - in other words, quite expensive to purchase but very cheap to run.

So much for dishing the dirt on your alleged 26-year-old problem...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

you mean for someone else?  mental martin.  in the shetlands.  was this out of the goodness of your heart - or did you have an ulterior motive.  perhaps a borrowing of the outboard motor boat or some fishing pole needed?  what is going on over there?

Unst-erior, dear - not Ulterior (in the Shetlands, that is). And no pole is needed to do this kind of thing; even the Shetlanders probably realise that one is needed only for the purposes of pole dancing, but then this is probably the one branch of dance in which you have no particular interest...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

i have never met a doctor that i didn't know how to diagnose.

So you diagnose doctors, do you?

therefore, i suggest you stop laughing and answer my questions.  i can see through the disguises.  it is a penitant move and you think it assures you favor with the sea gods.

Sea gods? Ye gods! There is only one God, isn't there?

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

thal is half viking.  you can't convert them - even when they confess.  (just kidding)

[ahinton]

Ever since watching Jason and the Argonauts, i have always offered a prayer to the sea gods before sailing.

If Allah wills it, I will survive.

Thali

Alistair wills it; in the possible absence (on duty in Afghaniraqistan) of Allah himself, will that do?

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

thal is half viking.  you can't convert them - even when they confess. 

Which half? Who is "you" here? Into what can "you" not convert them, even when they confess to what? In any case, assuming "you" literally means "you" here, why do you want to "convert" people? (and to what?) and/or extract confessions therefrom? That's an awful lot of questions in a relatively small space, I know, but...

Best,

Alistair

[wishful thinker]

thal is half viking.  you can't convert them - even when they confess.  (just kidding)

Madam, you have not been reading your Bible    If you are a Christian, then you have a primary duty to spread the Gospel and convert everyone 

There are quite a few billion people in my imagination (which you probably naively think of as the "world") now, so that should keep you busy until lunchtime at least 

[pianistimo]

i read:

please note:  this board primarily intended for professional pianists and piano teachers as well as piano students an amateurs at an advanced level.  if you are not part of this group consider posting in the student's corner.

now, why?  does this appear in 'anything but' piano?  maybe nils is getting tired of miscellaneous conversions attempted and my joking with thal.  seriously, i truly try to let people be who they are and only answer questions from my limited perspective.

ok.  so as i see it - every piano teacher has a responsibility to convert their student to piano.  the basic thrust is - jam piano in every corner of their life.  after a while - all they see is piano here, piano there...they cannot escape the piano.  you buy them a stack of books and scribble important notes (but, not too scribbly, lest they be unable to make sense of them in a few years).  and, give them good experiences so they will remember the joy of music.  it is the joy that people remember and not the knocks over the head.  and, if you are really sneaky - they won't even know that it was you that inspired them and will think it was their own hard work and effort that convinced themselves.  in the end, you both will be saved by the piano (figuratively) when you're feeling low and have the choice of drinking or piano playing. 

[wishful thinker]

But will the piano save your sole ? 

It's been raining a lot here, and my soles are leather, so even in good condition they are not the ideal standard.  That is my bath-tub, but I usually shower.   So the question is this:  is it easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, or to play Bartok with one hand? Perhaps Henrah could tell us when he finishes his "roll-up" 

[pianolist]

So the question is this: is it easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, or to play Bartok with one hand? Perhaps Henrah could tell us when he finishes his "roll-up"

Here's the camel, with a whole collection of "roll-ups" on his back. Bartok made rolls, you know. You can play them with one foot. Not a lot of people know that.

[wishful thinker]

ah ha!  now we know...all we need is a Gulbransen, and our problem is solved 

how do I insert an image?

[pianolist]

I'm in the middle of a long and serious posting about the importance of anarchy in the "Anything But Piano" thread, and up pops an anarchic Gulbransen. Ugghh!

If you base your ideas of how musical the player piano might be on a Gulbransen, you will be in real trouble. The pedals are damped, so that you cannot create subtle musical dynamics. The best you can hope for is a few terraces.

I can't remember whether they have mechanical sustaining pedal levers, or whether they are pneumatic, but I think it's the latter. If so, the sustain will never work when you really need it, when you are at the quietest pianissimo, because the suction gives out on the sustain before it does on the notes. And you can't half-pedal, either.

Buy a Pianola Piano, and preferably a British one. It's the only way. They are going for next to nothing on Ebay. I know I'm going to get my wrist slapped for this!

[wishful thinker]

I have a Brinsmead Triumphodist awaiting restoration, want it? 

But this doesn't answer my question about inserting images 

[pianolist]

this board is primarily intended for professional pianists and piano teachers as well as piano students and amateurs at an advanced level. if you are not part of this group consider posting in the student's corner.

There is a natural balance, surely? In the real world we are allowed humour, and in Britain it tends to be of a dry variety, especially amongst the intellectual classes, including estuary dwellers. Very often, members of specialist clubs spend most of their time discussing non-specialist matters. It is the security of the shared background knowledge and values which gives them the confidence to let their hair down. Exclusive concentration on specialist affairs is a sure sign of amateurism.

Clifford Curzon, after a player piano concert at the Purcell Room, in which his late teacher, Katharine Goodson, played by means of piano rolls, was tickled pink that he had been offered sherry during the interval, and went round telling everybody. Now, deep down he was no doubt far more affected by hearing his erstwhile mentor, but it somehow isn't British to dwell on such emotional matters in conversation, at least not without a good spoonful of lightheartedness to sugar the pill.

The "Anything But Piano" section of this forum is arguably one of the most rewarding. There are plenty of shallow threads on the other boards, so that, for example, I am amazed at the general lack of knowledge of pianos as instruments. But there are senior voices in such places, who are able to point students in the right directions.

On this board a different type of education is provided, it seems to me, and one that is just as important to young pianists. We talk of everything, which is the essence of life. Now, a posting expressing hatred of a particular nationality has been removed. Fair enough; this is not our forum, and one must make an effort to keep slightly to the rules. But in many ways I should have preferred to have seen the posting remain, because it is important to all of us, old and young, to be aware that such sentiments exist, and to be on our guard. We need to engage those who feel hatred, and to set an example which they can perhaps eventually come to follow.

The slight anarchy that develops on this board is very important. Life is anarchic, music is anarchic at times, or at least the performance of it can be. Some people can be too serious about themselves, as witness Lang Lang, in my opinion, and a good dose of humour is a wonderful teacher. The effective hijacking of the Polish Tramps thread is an example of how humanity can pull together to disarm extremism, and turn something rather negative into something that makes us smile. That's not bad, actually.

[pianolist]

I have a Brinsmead Triumphodist awaiting restoration, want it?

But this doesn't answer my question about inserting images

1 - I have two upright players, two 88-note push-ups, two harmoniums and about 11,000 music rolls. Divorce will follow any more pianos, I think! But thank you. Are you in England?

2 - You need to upload the image to another website somewhere. I am lucky, in that I can use www.pianola.org, but I think there are sites on the web which allow you to upload images. Thal knows, for sure. Then, the button below the Italic button inserts a bit of code "[ img ][ /img ]" into your reply, in between which you type the reference to your picture.

My camel, for example, is at https://www.pianola.org/pianostreet/camel.jpg, so I type exactly that in between the "[ img ]" and "[ /img ]" links. I actually centre the image as well, which you can do via the text centering device on the top line of buttons, but that's a detail.

[thalbergmad]

her name is Miele, she is German, she can keep going for almost two hours

Lucky old you Hinty.

None of my women have ever been able to keep going for that long.

I am amazed you have time to compose.

May Allah bless you with a thousand children.

Thali

[pianistimo]

he means washing the dishes.  a real dishwasher.  just asm1469named her piano fredryk - he has named her the german name miele (probably for a past girlfriend who both washed dishes and gave him two hours of rolling - forget the piano).  unless, unless...he is wierd and has a thing for dishwashers. 

pianolist, you have greatly encouraged my faux pas of talking out of turn and too often.  whilst nils tries to reign it in - you encourage everything from talk of pole dancing to french travel (btw, cassedesus and ravel's residence were interesting!).  my husband travelled to france recently and said all the cars are really small, and the residences, too.  also, the traffic is terrible around the champs d'lsyee and he said one can be stuck there for hours whilst others do very random moves.  hopefully, these are not racist remarks.  in any case, i love the chocolate he brought back.  white chocolate, too.  and, my husband received adequate reassurance while he was over there of his good looks.  he was propositioned at a cross walk.  he said, her eyes spelled 't r o u b l e.'

must return to the topic.  what was it again?  oh.  dishwashing.  that has absolutely nothing to do with piano.  unless one tries to concentrate on music while doing dishes.  i have quite a few sets of old lp's downstairs and if i set up the record player, i could listen to some pretty good stuff while doing dishes and cooking.  i am thinking of making chicken pot pie (with beef).

[pianowolfi]

Here's the camel, with a whole collection of "roll-ups" on his back. Bartok made rolls, you know. You can play them with one foot. Not a lot of people know that.

Now that's really cool!

[ahinton]

Lucky old you Hinty.

None of my women have ever been able to keep going for that long.

I am amazed you have time to compose.

May Allah bless you with a thousand children.

Thali

Many thanks for the thought, but a thousand would be just too many for me; "Symphony of a Thousand", fine, but "Family of a Thousand", no way. No, siree - just 46 will do me for now, thanks - and, for the avoidance of doubt (as the lawyers say), I refer here to my current opus number tally...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

he means washing the dishes.  a real dishwasher.  just asm1469named her piano fredryk - he has named her the german name miele (probably for a past girlfriend who both washed dishes and gave him two hours of rolling - forget the piano).  unless, unless...he is wierd and has a thing for dishwashers. 

Everything in its place, say I - not least the dishwasher - which is why I favour a Miele one because it never seems to go wrong so I can just use it when necessary and otherwise forget about it.

What a strange term "washing up" is, though. Why "up"? This is another of those peculiarly English idioms, n'est-ce pas? Just think, par exemple, about trying to explain to a French woman the difference between "slowing up" and "slowing down"...

Never put lead crystal in the dishwasher, though...

Best,

Alistair

[wishful thinker]

Wait up, why put up with the washing up?

Oh no! I have ended my sentence with a preposition  In the words of Churchill:

"This is the sort of English up with which I will not put"

[ahinton]

Wait up, why put up with the washing up?

Oh no! I have ended my sentence with a preposition  In the words of Churchill:

"This is the sort of English up with which I will not put"

Indeed! This, incidentally, reminds me of the old admonition against prisoners planning to marry immediately upon release from jail: "never end a sentence with a proposition"...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

thanks for clearing this up, ahinton.  so... your compositions are your children and your mate is a dishwasher.  that sounds reasonable being that time and quietness seem to be necessary for composers.  i certainly hope meile has some speed settings.  she doesn't speak french?   or are they temperature settings?  the newer dishwashers are also very quiet.  but, that makes them even more forgettable.

the dishwasher we currently have also has enough space in the lower rack to put our plastic cutting board (which is a good way to disinfect them - using extremely hot water).  my husband, changing the subject, sometimes cuts meat and then barely wipes it off.  this is my assurance that we will not all die at dinner from cutting board bacteria.  usually, i'll wash it in soapy water and then put it in the dishwasher for good measure.  it's never melted - but gets hot enough to feel ok about cutting again on it.  anyway, having one with space in it  is nice.   usually fits in the very back lower shelf with no problem between it and the higher shelf if tilted at an angle.

[wishful thinker]

Thank you so much Pianistimo for this further insight into your domestic arrangements 

..but wait...you are a Goddess no?  a domestic goddess?  at last all is revealled......

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Pianistimo.....

https://www.nigella.com/nigella/detail.asp?area=11&article=197

[pianolist]

May Allah bless you with a thousand children.

I once saw a Jerry Springer programme, while cleaning up solenoids for a perforating machine in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, in which a Mormon with about eight wives was interviewed. One of the new wives was the daughter (by a previous marriage) of one of his existing wives. I think the new one was thirteeen or fifteen years old. The audience was baying, and the Mormon shouted that they were all jealous of him. Then they ran a prerecorded video of his life at home. There was a scene with all the babies and young children, with baked beans and nappies, and gurgling, and regurgitated food, and a production line of bottoms being washed and wiped. It was absolutely frightful. Thank you, Allah; you can take your fertility elsewhere!

[ahinton]

thanks for clearing this up, ahinton.  so... your compositions are your children and your mate is a dishwasher.  that sounds reasonable being that time and quietness seem to be necessary for composers.  i certainly hope meile has some speed settings.  she doesn't speak french?   or are they temperature settings?  the newer dishwashers are also very quiet.  but, that makes them even more forgettable.

"Pianistimo" dear - it is clear that, far from "clearing" anything "up" here, I have confused you further - which was neither my intention nor, I believe, my fault. The first bit's OK but I said nothing whatsoever about having a diswasher for a "mate"; one would surely not, after all, want to have anyone as a "mate" of whom one could (as I just did) write that one "can just use it when necessary and otherwise forget about it"?

My dishwasher has various temperature / programme settings. It is supposedly rated as "environmentally friendly" (as far as such appliances ever can be) in terms of the volume of water it uses. I have never heard it speak French; if I did, I might ask it for some lessons. It does indeed run quietly - in fact, almost "pianistimo", I'd say...

Anyway, I must go now, because the dishwasher is almost full and needs to be put it through a programme before I do anything else.

Best,

Alistair

[wishful thinker]

one would surely not, after all, want to have anyone as a "mate" of whom one could (as I just did) write that one "can just use it when necessary and otherwise forget about it"?

No that is not a mate, that is a woman 

[ahinton]

No that is not a mate, that is a woman 

Perhaps you are less of a "wishful (or, in the present context, washful) thinker" than your forum ID might appear to suggest...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

i am not absolutely positive about the gender of dishwashers.  i think it is entirely dependent upon the name they are given as to how they are viewed.  in ahinton's case - the female gender means nothing - i mean in regards to dishwashing.  now, if the dishwasher spoke french and also pole danced - he might wonder what brand it was. 

wishful thinker - i too, think that chefs from any walk of life are close to goddesses/gods - and yet would not go quite so far in my terminology.  i have been known to keep my mouth open during the show 'take home chef' - imagining all sorts of questions and ploys i would use on this man to get him to cook at my house.   he is very smart, polite, flirts meaninglessly and yet with humor.  and, in the end - that's all that matters when one is married anyways.  i mean - if you're already getting it - no need to ask elsewhere.  but, i have this problem - that good food makes me extremely, well...feel very good. 

ps my hubby is an excellent cook.  i usually ask him to prepare the meat.  if this is domestic of me - so be it.  i usually pour some lemonade and watch.  but, i do bake really good bread and cake and muffins.  etc.  and, i like to make pasta and salads.  we kind of tandem cook.  if he's sick, that's another matter. yesterday he was feeling terrible - so i put my heart into a beef stew (not literally).  you know - onions, carrots, tomato juice, the works.

[wishful thinker]

Pianistimo, if you are seriously toying with the idea of bringing a celebrity chef into your home, I think that things might get very messy indeed.  For this reason I think that you need to have not only a dishwasher to hand but also a washing machine and a tumble dryer 

[pianistimo]

why.  there's a bed upstairs.  (wishfulthinkier, i'm beginning to wonder about you).  but, i recon - so i won't be tempted - i'll just leave the upstairs a catastrophe and thus be embarrassed to even contemplate that move.  not to mention it would be a sin.  especially if he was 20 years younger.  well, i'm not sure about the especially.  i mean - a sin is a sin, right.  so if you're going to sin - you may as well do a big one.  but, i love my husband very much.

seriously thinking about this again, though, i realize that i already have a super chef.  and, he's really great with herbs and spices and things.  he never overdoes the taste.  you know, how some people oversalt and over spice.  it's nice because his is really tasty and just right.  we brined a turkey recently.  it turned out really great.  he bought me a turkey pan that allows you to pull the turkey out without the drippings spilling everywhere - and the turkey falling over the edge.

[ahinton]

i am not absolutely positive about the gender of dishwashers.

I'm relieved to hear it.

i think it is entirely dependent upon the name they are given as to how they are viewed.

Mine's name was "given" it by its manufacturer of the same name (if you get my drift).

in ahinton's case - the female gender means nothing - i mean in regards to dishwashing. 

Dishwashers are by definition neutral in thie regard, so this hardly applies merely to me.

now, if the dishwasher spoke french and also pole danced - he might wonder what brand it was.

If mine started to to the former, I'd wonder why it didn't just shut up and do the dishes according to the programme selected; if it started to do the latter, I'd be far more concerned as the the internal crockery breakages that would inevitably result (not that I have a suitable pole in my kitchen anyway). French-speaking pole-dancing dishwashers; what a strange pianistimic imagination you appear to have! Is this what living in Philadelphia does to you? If so, I'd better try to persuade Marc-André Hamelin to move away from there as soon as possible...

Best,

Alistair

[pianolist]

I was about to ask whether anyone had ever written any music for dishwasher. I know that vacuum cleaners were featured in the Hoffnung concerts in the 1950s. But Google finds everything. There's a pop group called Dishwasher:

https://filmpop.popmontreal.com/?p=142&language=en

For suggestive dancing, the De Dietrich would surely be the best?

[pianistimo]

at least de deitrich would offer spare parts if any get broken.  that's a hard core dishwasher you're talking about.

[thalbergmad]

while cleaning up solenoids

I had that once and it is really painfull.

My sympathies.

Thali

[pianolist]

... it is really painful.

It's when they perforate that it really stings.