'Big' person stereotype

[instromp]

I was over one of my friends house one day, and I was there and his mom asked me would I stay for dinner and I said yes.So when it was time to eat she gave me this plate of food with huge portions of food  .I saw everyone elses plate and they had normal size portions.SO I thought to myself that since she see's that im a big guy she must assume that everything i eat must be in big portions  , which isnt true.That must be a stereotype that every fat person must love downing big portions of food.I was kinda offended by it but i didn't say anything.And when I didn't finish it all because i was full , she said you sure?? I was like well duuhh lady i wouldn't have said it if i wasn't.When i went home I laughed about it for a while,I found it quite humorous  .Does everyone elsehas this same stereotype on overweight ppl, share your thoughts.May give me a laugh .

[pianistimo]

maybe you have to catch them right at the beginning and ask to have smaller portions.  i don't think it offends people, really.  you seem like a nice guy and are willing to take the hit.  sometimes that impresses people more than complaining about how much or little you are given, i guess.  to just accept the idiosyncracies of people.  my son is kinda good at this.  he eats everything i make - but doesn't tell me much when he didn't like it.  so i have to guess. whereas - my other two will tell me they don't want any at all.  like turkey the second day.  i asked 'ok, who wants a turkey sandwich.'  only my son says yes.  my daughter brings the plate back -untouched.  as though turkey is only good for one day.

[thalbergmad]

Nice post Instromp. I think the trouble is, is that there are a lot of BIG people who do eat a lot of food, myself included.

Saying that, a couple of years ago when i was a slim 260 pounds, i was going out with a girl that just scraped over the 100 pound barrier and she got through more food than i did.

At school, i was always given much larger helpings than the other kids, coz the dinner ladies got fed up with me going back 3 times for more.

We live in a "fattist" or "biggist" society, but i think we just have to find the funny side.

Thal

[instromp]

Nice post Instromp. I think the trouble is, is that there are a lot of BIG people who do eat a lot of food, myself included.

Saying that, a couple of years ago when i was a slim 260 pounds, i was going out with a girl that just scraped over the 100 pound barrier and she got through more food than i did.

At school, i was always given much larger helpings than the other kids, coz the dinner ladies got fed up with me going back 3 times for more.

We live in a "fattist" or "biggist" society, but i think we just have to find the funny side.

Thal

Its funny that you say that Thal, a few weeks back when this new cafeteria lady was serving food she gave me a bigger serving because she said "I am big strong growing boy, you need more" I couldn't help but laugh and smile at her.

A girl i know is very slim but she can down more food than me,i seen her eat before i was amazed lol.

this true we live in a "fattist" or "biggist" society, especially if you live in the U.S. since we are the 'fattist country' around.There's always a funny side of things to look,glad i can see that and not focus on negative side.

maybe you have to catch them right at the beginning and ask to have smaller portions. i don't think it offends people, really. you seem like a nice guy and are willing to take the hit. sometimes that impresses people more than complaining about how much or little you are given, i guess. to just accept the idiosyncracies of people. my son is kinda good at this. he eats everything i make - but doesn't tell me much when he didn't like it. so i have to guess. whereas - my other two will tell me they don't want any at all. like turkey the second day. i asked 'ok, who wants a turkey sandwich.' only my son says yes. my daughter brings the plate back -untouched. as though turkey is only good for one day.

I guess your right about that then, i should have said something when she first gave me the plate. People will always assume things.

[alwaystheangel]

I believe the UK is giving the Us a run for their money over fattest people.

Surprisingly, South Africa's (I'm pretty sure it's south africa, could be sub-saharan, not positive, read the article a few months back) apparently having a growing obeisity problem (something about not appearing sickly if you have AIDS so the women intentionally pack on the pounds to avoid the social stigma of AIDS)

here's a list on this site, although there's not info on ASia and Africa:
https://www.nationmaster.com/graph/hea_obe-health-obesity

[steve jones]

I was over one of my friends house one day, and I was there and his mom asked me would I stay for dinner and I said yes.So when it was time to eat she gave me this plate of food with huge portions of food  .I saw everyone elses plate and they had normal size portions.SO I thought to myself that since she see's that im a big guy she must assume that everything i eat must be in big portions  , which isnt true.That must be a stereotype that every fat person must love downing big portions of food.I was kinda offended by it but i didn't say anything.And when I didn't finish it all because i was full , she said you sure?? I was like well duuhh lady i wouldn't have said it if i wasn't.When i went home I laughed about it for a while,I found it quite humorous  .Does everyone elsehas this same stereotype on overweight ppl, share your thoughts.May give me a laugh .

Hey, the time to moan is when they dont give you enough! 

SJ

[donjuan]

when I didn't finish it all because i was full , she said you sure?? I was like well duuhh

hahaha "you sure?" that's kind of FUNNY   If you have a chance, read a short story called "After you, my dear Alphonse"  it's a lot like what you had there..

[instromp]

hahaha "you sure?" that's kind of FUNNY   If you have a chance, read a short story called "After you, my dear Alphonse"  it's a lot like what you had there..

Greetings Donjuan 

Yeah it is pretty funny if u think about it ina humurous manner.But where might i find this story?

[donjuan]

you can google it and get people making reference to it.  it's an oooooold story.

anyway, it's about a black kid who goes over to eat at a white kid's house.  The mom is a racist, but she doesnt openly realize it.  But she keeps saying 'so your mom and all of you...' like she's assuming he has a big family cuz he's black and then she offers food to take home, because she assumes he's poor..

anyway, you get the idea.. the idea is to raise awareness for stereotypes

but at the same time, I think stereotypes are FUNNY and I love em!  I've been the victim a few times myself but it's still funny!

[ted]

There is one maxim concerning this which I have found to be invariably true. I think Fred Hollows voiced it in his autobiography.

One should never decline an invitation to dinner from a plump woman.

[thalbergmad]

I once took my ex girlfriend to a posh restuarant.

She looked at the menu and said "yes please"

[ahinton]

I once took my ex girlfriend to a posh restuarant.

She looked at the menu and said "yes please"

But you didn't tell us exactly what she meant by that. Perhaps it might be wise if you continue to refrain from so doing...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

But you didn't tell us exactly what she meant by that. Perhaps it might be wise if you continue to refrain from so doing...

Best,

Alistair

Wisen up Hinty, it meant she wanted eveything on the menu.

Which is why she was a fat pig.

Thal

[ahinton]

Wisen up Hinty, it meant she wanted eveything on the menu.

Much as I had somehow hoped that you'd "possibly" meant something else here, I had indeed suspected that what you now confirm was what you actuallty meant; ah, well...

Which is why she was a fat pig.

Thal

As has been said before in other contexts, "the age of chivalry is not dead; after all, you can't describe anything as "dead" if it was never alive in the first place". Your elegantly refined and sophisticated turns of phrase and your touchingly tender considerations towards women are the yardsticks (metresticks, sorry) by which we all know and admire you, Thal. Even then, some might nevertheless have the temerity to argue that the age of chivalry is indeed dead and is buried in the Graves at the End of Kent...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

I am a misogynist.

I can't help myself.

[ahinton]

I am a misogynist.

I can't help myself.

Do you see those two statements as inevitably dependent upon one another? If so, what a sad state for you to be in.

A friend of mine who died about four years ago once answered my question about his continued existence by attributing it more than anything else to "the plentiful company of gorgeous and intelligent women". He had been a lifelong homosexual. He said this just two months before he died; when he said it, he was a few weeks short of the age of 99...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

A friend of mine who died about four years ago once answered my question about his continued existence by attributing it more than anything else to "the plentiful company of gorgeous and intelligent women".

Lucky for him, i have never met any.

[ahinton]

Lucky for him, i have never met any.

By your use of the phrase "lucky for him", you seem to imply that, had you met some gorgeous intelligent women, there would not have been enough left over to go around and that he would therefore have been deprived of the company that he obviously enjoyed; so - less "lucky for him" than "unlucky for you", perhaps - your self-advertised misogyny notwithstanding.

A Japanese friend once told me that the Japanese do not believe in misogyny, because it is against their religion to put gin into a miso...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

A Japanese friend once told me that the Japanese do not believe in misogyny, because it is against their religion to put gin into a miso...

Best,

Alistair

Do not understand.

Anyway, this is a "Big" person thread.

My ex girlfriend was so big, i had to cuddle her in shifts.

Thal

[instromp]

Threads tend to always go off topic, its even amazing how it can regain the significance of what it was started on 


I remember a few band practices ago the Euphonium player,he's a big guy, we were rehearsing marching outside for the upcoming parade.He got tired very quickly and wanted to take a rest.The Drum major got fed up with him and his "quick" rests and said a quite hurtful thing to him "well maybe if you lose some fat from around ur knee's then maybe ur big*ss can keep up." I did not want to laugh because it was wrong, but the funny thing about it is that the Drum Major is just as big as him  , but taller.

[ada]

A friend of mine who died about four years ago once answered my question about his continued existence by attributing it more than anything else to "the plentiful company of gorgeous and intelligent women". He had been a lifelong homosexual.

Without claiming to be either gorgeous or intelligent can I just say that I love the company of gay guys because (in general terms)

1. There are no gender politics going on

2. You can flirt with them without any risk of misinterpretation and subsequent bad feelings

3. You can actually talk to them without worrying that they're going to take it as a sign you want to jump into bed

4. You can jump into bed with them without jumping into bed

5. You can discuss relationship problems and sex with them without it being taken as an offer of your availability

6. They go to cool nightclubs and know where to get the best drugs


If you're a straight woman, you choose straight men as lovers or to father your children. You choose gay men for friendship.

That's not to say gay men can't be shallow and bitchy and have a terrible fashion sense  like the best of us. And that's also not to say that you can't be good mates with a lover.

apologies for going off topic instromp.

Maybe the woman who heaped up your plate was  just being hospitable? In a lot of cultures it's good manners to give the guest the biggest portion.

[jpianoflorida]

stereotypes are annoying....you do have to laugh  at them:    here are some for piano teachers:


1)   I am male, i am  a piano teacher, I'm not married, I must be gay!

2)   I am a piano teacher, I can't like hockey...I can't like sports, i can only like playing the piano 24 hours a day.

3)    I'm 41 and not married, that can't be by choice, poor thing , he can't find a wife.(love that one---very far from the truth)

4) you're single, you must be lonely.    You are just waiting for the right woman to come along(  yeah, sure, whatever..if i want to be married, I will be)

[instromp]

Without claiming to be either gorgeous or intelligent can I just say that I love the company of gay guys because (in general terms)

1. There are no gender politics going on

2. You can flirt with them without any risk of misinterpretation and subsequent bad feelings

3. You can actually talk to them without worrying that they're going to take it as a sign you want to jump into bed

4. You can jump into bed with them without jumping into bed

5. You can discuss relationship problems and sex with them without it being taken as an offer of your availability

6. They go to cool nightclubs and know where to get the best drugs


If you're a straight woman, you choose straight men as lovers or to father your children. You choose gay men for friendship.

That's not to say gay men can't be shallow and bitchy and have a terrible fashion sense  like the best of us. And that's also not to say that you can't be good mates with a lover.

apologies for going off topic instromp.

Maybe the woman who heaped up your plate was  just being hospitable? In a lot of cultures it's good manners to give the guest the biggest portion.

It's ok, Thal and Hinton started it first  (lol)

[alwaystheangel]

how about the "fat people are always "Jolly"" steryotype.  Jeez, if they came to my store on the weekend, that would quickly put an end to any such steryotype.  But in fact, pretty much everyone that comes into payless shoes are cranky.

Are there any in the UK?

[thalbergmad]

how about the "fat people are always "Jolly"" steryotype.  Jeez, if they came to my store on the weekend, that would quickly put an end to any such steryotype.  But in fact, pretty much everyone that comes into payless shoes are cranky.

Are there any in the UK?

What, fat jolly people or shoe shops?

[ahinton]

It's ok, Thal and Hinton started it first  (lol)

Started what, exactly? I can't even remember what it might have been that I apparently started...

Best,

Alistair

[alwaystheangel]

What, fat jolly people or shoe shops?

Jolly fat people steryotype.

[thalbergmad]

Jolly fat people steryotype.

Yep, there are lots of them.

Myself included.

Thal

[ahinton]

Yep, there are lots of them.

Myself included.

Thal

I would never have thought of you as being in any way stereotypical...

Best,

Alistair

[donjuan]

Jolly fat people steryotype.

I can think of an exception: Marguerite Perrin (The God Warrior).

[gruffalo]

That's not to say gay men can't be shallow and bitchy

gay men are very very bitchy. i dont have much problem with them, i hang out with quite a few gay guys and they are bitching 80% of the time. though i have met one or two that dont pregnant dog much.

[instromp]

Jolly fat people steryotype.

lol  , we were talking about that today.Santa Claus would be numbe 1

[thalbergmad]

I would have put "Fatty Arbuckle" in the same category until i read his life story.

Perhaps Oliver hardy then.

Thal