swinging strategies

[pianistimo]

ok.  in ballroom dancing.  i have now 'the complete idiots guide to ballroom dancing' and am reading the chapter headings.  this books is making my side ache.

here's one instruction:  'whenever a command such as 'left food forward' is given, please move your body as well as your left foot to the position directed using the rhythm of the dance you are studying.'

i should be rolling on the floor by the next paragraph.  i mean - i can dance a little bit.  but, it's a sort of good refresher - although definately written for men. 

[pianistimo]

apparently, if you read this book you have a 'quickstart' program installed.  this is too much.

[prometheus]

Now you know how normal people feel when they read the bible.

[pianistimo]

i sort of understand what you are saying.  for me, the bible has always been around - so i'm used to it.  but, if you are new to something --you have to become familiar enough to not just 'do the proscribed steps' but make it your own dance.  or, whatever you make of it. 

[thalbergmad]

the bible has always been around

The bible will be around for ever.

Bless that sister.

Thal

PS, I have opened my heart to Jesus

[berrt]

PS, I have opened my heart to Jesus

You switched to heart surgery, thal?? Great.

B.

[pianolist]

Susan, are we to understand that you have now become a swinger, as well as a pole dancer? In which corner of the Good Book are these practices encouraged?

[thalbergmad]

You switched to heart surgery, thal?? Great.

B.

We all must open our hearts before it is too late.

The time of Revelations is almost upon us and only the believers will be saved from eternal damnation.

Thal

[ahinton]

You switched to heart surgery, thal?? Great.

B.

No one has yet mentioned transplantation in the dance context (well, maybe I shouldn't be overly surprised, but...)

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

We all must open our hearts before it is too late.

Yes, no doubt we should - but "too late" for what, precisely?...

The time of Revelations is almost upon us

What do you mean, "almost"? Hasn't our susanistimo revealed far too much already? (comme d'habitude...)

and only the believers will be saved from eternal damnation.

Or, worse still, unending participation in "Strictly Come Dancing" (which, I should perhaps inform those from outside UK, is a bizarre title for a UK television series which makes about as much grammatical sense as does our largest supermarket's catchphrase "Every Little Helps") - but the "believers" in what, exactly?...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

Now you know how normal people feel when they read the bible.

...without that "quick start programme", you mean? (and why, in all her John Chapter 999 material in the past, has she never mentioned this "quick start programme" until now?)...

Best,

Alistair

[cmg]

i have now 'the complete idiots guide to ballroom dancing'
 it's a sort of good refresher - although definately written for men. 

Excuse me, pianistimo, but are you suggesting that only men can be idiots at ballroom dancing?

[ahinton]

i sort of understand what you are saying.  for me, the bible has always been around - so i'm used to it.  but, if you are new to something --you have to become familiar enough to not just 'do the proscribed steps' but make it your own dance.  or, whatever you make of it.

Now - please note, folks - that not only is our dear susanistimo now at last persuading us no longer to take that Bible "literally" but she is also urging us to "dance" around it. I can just see that fatted calf now. I can also see the bit in Schönberg's Moses und Aron where the long-suffering petit-vache of the golden (and not yet sectioned) variety does what most such long-suffering petits-vaches might be expected to do and indeed did do when once I saw a production of that opera; "dancing" around that golden calf is accordingly about as dangerous biblically as any other kind of dancing is physically, I would guess...

Best,

Alistair

[cmg]

Now - please note, folks - that not only is our dear susanistimo now at last persuading us no longer to take that Bible "literally" but she is also urging us to "dance" around it.
Best,

Alistair

Ah, hah, AH!  Hoisted on her own Pentecostal petard!! 

p.s.  pianistimo, you can redeem yourself if you go to my new thread on "leftovers" and give me your opinion.  I only have 5 minutes left before I reheat . . . .

[ahinton]

p.s.  pianistimo, you can redeem yourself if you go to my new thread on "leftovers" and give me your opinion.  I only have 5 minutes left before I reheat . . . .

Hey! - careful, now - go encourage pianistimo to partake of a thred about "leftovers" and she'll just as likely as not start telling us all about those rogue chapters that somehow got left out of the Bible (as Thal has on occasion mentioned in discussions); if that's what you want to do or don't especially mind risking, then - as the saying goes - "go ahead; be my guest!"...

In such a contextual possibility, I have less than 5 minutes left before I cool down (as in those delectably memorable lines in the song "Just One of Those Things" wherein that master wordsmith Cole Porter wrote about "our love affair" as being "too hot NOT to cool down" - and he was not, of course, referring to the mythical one between pianistimo and myself, of which perhaps our goodly "ada" might find it in herself to be just a tad jealous if she could only bring herself to believe in its possibility...)

Go on, now - how many skittles does that leave to be knocked down?!...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

i am tempted to click the link below 'improve comprehension.'  we're talking about swinging your hips.  men don't have hips.  therefore, they don't like to dance.  that is why they can't understand anything past first base on dancing.  you have to literally move their hands and feet to get anywhere.  i really laughed when i got to the part about putting your palms together.  even this is difficult for some men.  you know, finding the partners hand and getting your palms together.  now for aliens, this is probably tantamount to 'doing it' - so for them it should be a bit of difficulty. 

now i shall probably be ousted for talking like this to someone among you who is sort of castanovaish and actually dances quite well, thank you.  to that person - i say 'ahemm...could i borrow you next saturday night?  just for learning puposes?  say about 7:00pm?  don't want to make alistair jealous - so we'll e-mail any positive results about any men that are halfway good at dancing.  this, btw, is a litmus test for many women.  behold, even thal realizes that salsa dancing might come in handy.

[ahinton]

men don't have hips.

Really? A male friend of mine has just emerged from hospital having had both his hips surgically replaced - or at least that's what he has been given to understand has just happened to him. Are you seriously suggesting that this surgeon was such an unprincipled money-grabber that he conned my friend into having an operation to replace two things that he never possessed in the first place?

therefore, they don't like to dance.

There are quite a few men that actually do enjoy dancing (it takes all sorts). There are also quite a few men that enjoy playing cricket. I happen to enjoy neither - and neither fact is just because I happen not to be English...

that is why they can't understand anything past first base on dancing.

I don't even understand that mcuh, personally...

you have to literally move their hands and feet to get anywhere.

Isn't it easier just to get in the car and just drive...

i really laughed when i got to the part about putting your palms together.  even this is difficult for some men.  you know, finding the partners hand and getting your palms together.  now for aliens, this is probably tantamount to 'doing it' - so for them it should be a bit of difficulty. 

Well, to certain members of the religious fraternity, I'm probably an alien, but your assertion here still doesn't quite porvide something with which I can identify. Never mind - I'll try to remember your remark here next Palm Sunday...

now i shall probably be ousted for talking like this to someone among you who is sort of castanovaish and actually dances quite well, thank you.

"Casanova", I think you mean.

to that person - i say 'ahemm...could i borrow you next saturday night?  just for learning puposes?  say about 7:00pm?  don't want to make alistair jealous

I don't think that you could possibly do that, Susan dear - especially if you're determined to take somone dancing...

so we'll e-mail any positive results about any men that are halfway good at dancing.

"Halfway" could, at least theoretically, be indicative of a one legged-participant but, whilst one of these would be far more successful on the dance floor than would I, it nevertheless occurs to me that "halfway" is simply not a realistic measure of anyone's general prowess at dance...

this, btw, is a litmus test for many women.

Well, the thought of dancing is enough to turn me green (and not with envy, let me assure you) - yet I've never yet encountered any litmus paper that turns that colour under any circumstances...

behold,

the Lamb of God - oh, woops, sorry - worng thread...

even thal realizes that salsa dancing might come in handy.

But neither you nor he says for what...

Best,

Alistair