Mt Blanc

[thalbergmad]

Me az been invited to a little climb next year and was wondering if anyone here has climbed Mt Blanc.

I have climbed on it before, but a fair distance from the top.

Not sure of the exact route but the climb will start from the end of the railway line at Nid D'Aigle.

Any Alpinists here??

Thal

PS Me az gotta lose a few stone first

[pianistimo]

are you going to the janssen observatory?  and, maybe you can find out who actually owns the summit.  i hear it was a matter of dispute after the french revolution.  in any case - it is covered with snow - and, as you know, the highest mountain peak in europe.  so if, you actually make it to the top - you should be proud of yourself.  i hear there's a tunnel under the mountain that makes it possible to travel from one town one one side to another on the other.   and the first olympics were held near this mountain.

don't break a leg.  dress warm.  start working out right now.  we don't want heart attacks.  a neighbor just went to peru.   she said 8,000 feet was fine.  but above that at 12,000 ft., she said she got kinda  disoriented and sick.  maybe you should start working on climbing other peaks and see what different elevations do to you.

here's an interesting article on elevation sickness:
www.princeton.edu/~oa/safety/altitude.html

[thalbergmad]

it is covered with snow

Thanks, i am glad you told me that.

Your posts are so helpful.

Thal

PS it is not the highest mountains in Europe.

[pianistimo]

oops.  i meant western europe.  yes. it is covered in snow.  do you know how to traverse mountains without causing avalanches? tip:  do not bring a gun.  do not yell 'i'm over here.'  wear red.  easy to find you when you are under 10 feet of snow.  if covered by snow - spit.  the direction of the spit will tell you which way is up.  don't worry about snow blindness - it goes away after about three days.  candy bars are good.

suggested reading:  extreme alpinism

[thalbergmad]

Fascinating.

Have you ever thought about writing your own Mountain Survival handbook?

Thal

[pianistimo]

ok.  i used to climb small peaks in the summer.  but, i got sick at the top when looking down. 

in highschool we had a pe teacher who took us out mt climbing and one thing i remember is that he was always looking ahead for the best route.  i mean - you don't want to get stuck somewhere's and have to traverse back down and then go back up and back down and back up.  he liked to use walking stick.

[thalbergmad]

Route finding will not be a problem, i ain't leading the climb.

I will probably be half a mile behind coughing me guts up.

Now, unless you have climbed the thing, please ................................

Thal

[pianistimo]

make sure your tent stays in place.  don't be surprised if there are animals at high altitudes.  like mt. goats.  they are smaller than they look in real life - on mt. mckinley.  they must have been pygmy goats or something.  but, the bears.  they are real life sized.  i remember getting up and needing to find a place to use the loo- but of course on mountain tops you cannot find them without traversing back down the hill to some shrubs.  that is where the bears hang out to eat you.

[thalbergmad]

make sure your tent stays in place.  don't be surprised if there are animals at high altitudes.  like mt. goats.  they are smaller than they look in real life - on mt. mckinley.  they must have been pygmy goats or something.  but, the bears.  they are real life sized.

Great advice, i was not going to bother securing my tent.

Do not expect to see any bears.

Any other helpful hints?

Thal

[pianistimo]

test out all your sleeping bags in cold weather.  find one that pulls a string around your face so that only the tip of your nose sticks out.  do not go for the 'look good' sleeping bag.  you know, one that has been designed by paris hilton.

from what i hear:  i pods are out.  creative mu vo is in.

[thalbergmad]

Right then, as long as i wear red, take a walking stick, practise my spitting technique, don't use a sleeping bag designed by Paris Hilton, don't carry a gun, avoid the bears, secure my tent, take lots of candy bars and don't yell over here, I should be OK.

I will send this information to my climbing friend who will obviously carefully consider your expert advice once he has finished laughing his tits off.

Now please, if you have not climbed Mt Blanc please ................. off

Thal

[pianistimo]

why this particular mountain, thal.  it seems, well, kind of enormous.  are you sure you want to die?  you know,  gasping for breath and acting crazy.  deleriously sure that jumping off the face is going to be the right thing to do.

there are also wild boar up there.  what are you going to do about those?  and those ibex. they have some lonnnng horns.  i suppose that you are not worried.  ok. 

[thalbergmad]

It is the highest in the alps and is in fact one of the easier ones to climb.

Yeh, it is a big mountain, but starting at 8,000 ft helps a lot.

If i wanted to die i would go to the Eiger or Matterhorn.

Thal

[prometheus]

You two remind me of my parents.

[thalbergmad]

I would rather slide naked down a razor blade than be married to her.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

there are also wild boar up there.  what are you going to do about those?  and those ibex. they have some lonnnng horns.  i suppose that you are not worried.  ok. 

To my knowledge there are no wild boar. Chamois, not ibex and only on the lower slopes.

No, i am not worried about being ravished by a rabid ibex.

Thal

[prometheus]

So are there any chimeras?

[thalbergmad]

That is the only Chimera i is interested in.

Thal

[mikey6]

PS it is not the highest mountains in Europe.

It's not? What is?

[ronde_des_sylphes]

Mt Elbrus, in the Caucasus. Mont Blanc is considered the tallest mountain in Western Europe.

[pianistimo]

ok.  thal - just for you.  i went to barnes and noble and read about how to prepare for a trip such as this:

#1 wear gloves inside mittens.  make sure the mittens have a string attaching themselves and run it through your coat.  you don't want to lose the mittens.

#2 wear polypropylane underwear, covered by a one-piece down suit (preferably light goose down) covered by a nylon outergarment.  anything more than this and you can actually overheat.

#3 put a warm water bottle inside the down suit and hope it doesn't spill.  especially on a certain place.

#4 think about replacing heavy oxygen tanks with russian titanium ones (although don't be surprise if yours explodes - if you fall on your back accidentally). 

#5 start taking cold showers right now.  it adjusts your body thermaline temperature to withstand cold - by gradually and incrementally just becoming frozen before hand.  in fact, on the day before the trip...just take a trip down to the meat market and ask if you can step inside the large freezer in the back for an hour.

#6 bring kumbu cough drops.  these are said to come in handy when people start coughing from the huge discrepancy of dry cold air needing to be moisturized for the lungs to process it.  bring plenty - otherwise your friends will steal them from you to get some of their own.  when you stop for a break - breath over a steaming pot.

#7 if you suddenly feel very heavy (twice your body weight) and sink to the ground - it is because you have depleted your first oxygen tank.  motion for someone to hook you up to the second one.

#8 if you get pulmonary edema - insist on being carried.  try to get someone to give you 100% oxygen and get an iv to stop dehydration.

#9 if you freeze - it is one of the easiest ways to die unless someone tries to save you.  write your last will and testament and keep it in your pocket.  no recussitation.  remember, thawing out can be painful.

#9

[pianowolfi]

That is HIM, the king of the Alps. I haven't climbed, but I rode around with my bike.

[pianistimo]

that's beautiful!

[thalbergmad]

#7 if you suddenly feel very heavy (twice your body weight) and sink to the ground - it is because you have depleted your first oxygen tank.  motion for someone to hook you up to the second one.

#8 if you get pulmonary edema - insist on being carried.  try to get someone to give you 100% oxygen and get an iv to stop dehydration.

Beyond belief.

I am not going to Everest or K2. Nobody in the history of climbing Mt Blanc has used oxygen tanks. I have no intention of being the first. They are used generally for 25,000 ft plus.

Thank you as always for your kind consideration and wisdom.

I have already written a will. I have left you the lambo.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

#5 start taking cold showers right now.  it adjusts your body thermaline temperature to withstand cold - by gradually and incrementally just becoming frozen before hand.  in fact, on the day before the trip...just take a trip down to the meat market and ask if you can step inside the large freezer in the back for an hour.

If i can handle Ben McDhui in February, Mt Blanc in July will feel like Tahiti.

I have no intention of stepping into a butchers freezer, lest i am mistaken for a prime piece of English beef.

Thal

[pianistimo]

why the snowcapped peaks.  i am afraid you do not know what you are getting yourself into.  but, then again - maybe it is like wading through sugar.  you could attempt this with water - and just bring along a snowboard to get down.

[thalbergmad]

eh?

[pianistimo]

well, as i hear it ...there are glaciers at the top.  quite a few.  and, when they melt - they turn to water.  so, ifyou are suddenly under a sort of 'waterfall' with backback and everything - you may as well just pump up that inflatable snowboard boat (that travels on water and snow equally well) and just enjoy the ride back down.  not sure how you'll make it to the very top.  i think scientists get airlifted up there.

but, of course, if you are adventurous - you may get there using inflatable snowshoes.  they have just been patented:  www.freepatentsonline.com/6763617.html  or the real thing:

https://pistehors.com/backcountry/wiki/Gear/Snowshoes  and then use the boat going down.

the good thing - i hear - is that the angles for climbing are 30 degrees or less.  this means you might stop a fall.  although, ifyou are skiing down - you may not be used to making tight turns.  bring an ice pic to stop yourself on the way down.

thanks for willing me the lambo.

ps.  www.moosejaw.com  supposedly has the lightest snowshoes i've found so far.  of course, the russians probably have some titanium ones.  hmm. maybe you could even store supplies in your snowshoes?  you know, warming up your soup rations as it goes around in a circle as you walk.  then, you pour it out the heel - when you get to a stopping point.

one last suggestion - a miner's headband flashlight.  you know.  for the descent.  you're mostly likely to kill yourself during the last 1/4 mile of descent.  that's from my book - 'how to survive a climb.' 

**last night i read an interesting tip.  it said 'real mountaineerers do not wash.  they stay dirty.  the dirt helps them stay warm.  they learn this from indigineous peoples.' 

[thalbergmad]

you're mostly likely to kill yourself during the last 1/4 mile of descent. 

I am most likely to kill myself after reading one of your posts.

Thal

PS, I am going to Mt Blanc, not crossing the Greenland Icecap

[mad_max2024]

I'm nearly doubling over with laughter reading this thread...

[pianistimo]

laugh if you must.  anything above 8,000 feet is giving you less and less oxygen.  so you have to breathe harder and move faster.  doubtful that thal will be able to keep up with his breathing.  therefore- i say - bring oxygen.  eliminate sickness.  oxygen is a drug!

of course, if he goes at a snail's pace - he'll probably adjust.  thal, can you pick some wildflowers up there?  and press them for me?  just stick them in newspaper inside a thick book and leave them for a few months.

one site says a surefire way to prevent altitude-sickness is to only take 1000 ft. per day.  making your trip five days up.  now, if you want to get 'the bends'  take it down in a day.  sounds like a seven or eight day trip.  am i right?  perhaps thal is unusual and takes heights well.   

another excerpt from my book:

stick a straw in both nostrils at the lower elevations and only breath through your nose.  take them out at the 9000 ft elevation.  it will seem like you are breathing the same amount of oxygen.  put your tank on at the 10,000 ft elevation.  save yourself for 13,000 ft.  bring along some algae to start muching on.

[thalbergmad]

1. Nobody uses oxygen at 8,000 feet. The only people who need it are overweight tourists in their mid 90's who come up a mountain pass in a heated luxury coach and make a dash for the toilets when they get to the top.

2. I do not plan taking a thick book with me.

3. A 3 toed sloth could climb Mt Blanc in 5 days, I think we will be doing it in 2.

4. You get the bends diving underwater, not climbing mountains.

5. Kate Moss is the only person who has ever put a straw up both nostrils.

I take it the Prozac is not working today.

Thal

[pianistimo]

i didn't say 8,000.  i said 10,000.  you are dreaming if you think you won't need it past that. unless...unless you are not planning to climb to the top (around13,000 ft. right?)  thal.

[thalbergmad]

i didn't say 8,000.  i said 10,000.  you are dreaming if you think you won't need it past that. unless...unless you are not planning to climb to the top (around13,000 ft. right?)  thal.

I wish i was dreaming right now, but i am not and you have indeed just typed the above.

Anyone that needs oxygen at 10,000 feet is probably on 50 cigars a day and should not be on the mountain in the first place.

The summit is 15760 ft. I have climbed at 12,500 feet with no problem at all.

Now, please go away.

Thal

[cmg]

Gone two days . . . and THIS is what I come back to?  A hike up Mt Blanc!!  Sounds great, Thal, but pianistimo has left out a one very important reminder:  pick up some fountain pens real cheap when you get to the summit.  Those Mt Blancs are a fortune here in NYC and I hear there's a cheapish gift shop up there.

And did you know that pianistimo and I first met in Hawaii?  Yes!  Mountaineering!!  I first saw her at the summit of Haleakala on Maui (she was advising other climbers on approrpriate high-altitude eyeliner).  At 10,000 feet the stuff starts to run.  She recommended, as I recall, liguid, injectable eyeliner.  The dear girl even brought syringes with her for the other climbers!  It was so hiliarious.  Looked like a heroin den up there, but, of course, it wasn't!  Just beauty advice, you know.

Then, next we crossed paths on the Kilauea crater AND the Kilauea iki crater overlook on the Big Island -- not Maui.  She gave me a fashion tip -- something about an "off-the-shoulder tank top" --
then just flitted off.  

I next noticed her at the legendary Pu'u Pu'u O'o Vent, where she was, well, venting about the proper footwear for flowing lava fields.  Two lovely Japanese tourists were wearing those cute rubber flip-flips and the lava was just melting them in no time.  Pianistimo leapt into the crisis and strapped thick books (one, I recall, was "Mein Kampf," the other, maybe, "Das Kapital") onto the undersoles of these tourists, lashing them with elastic salvaged from her very own under garments!  (She had said it was "no sacrifice" since The Bureau of Catastrophes had earlier sent her a formal, engraved warning that all the elastic in her undergarments would snap at precisely 10:47 pm that day, so what the heck!  She did worry that the Hawaiian goddess Pele might be threatened by her, hence the formal warning.)

It was moving.  She's a pip and you should take her advice.  

[thalbergmad]

I would not put any of the above past her.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

Sorry Thal, i am talking crap as usual.

It's been a hard day today. My husband is at the strip club and the kids are at church and completely out of the blue, my friends Joseph and mary have just turned up asking if i have got a room for the night. She is very heavily pregnant and is expecting very soon. I might have to put them in the stable, coz there is no room in the house.

On top of that, 3 men on camels knocked on the door bearing gifts claiming to be following a star. How crazy is that. Do they think i am gullible or something?

Anyway, apart from that everything is fine in pianistimo world.

Love

Susan

OK babe.

Merry Christimas.

Thal

[pianistimo]

you just made up another post for me.  i don't like it. you'd better stop or i will tell on you.  NILS!!!!!!!

at 15,000 od feet - you will be flying thal.  enjoy yourself.  you will stop under 13,000 and yoiu know it.  you're such a braggart.

anwyas,  enjoy the eggnog recipie.  if i were you -i'd take the vodka one.  susan

[pianistimo]

dear cmg,

injectible eyeliner!  i didn't know it existed.  that's what i get for living in philly instead of nyc.  (is it a real thing?)

well, i'll do my usual 26 miles today.  enjoy your day!  susan

[thalbergmad]

If i was a braggart, i would be claiming to be soloing the Geneva face in my dressing gown carrying a Steinway Model D.

I have previous said i will probably be miles behind coughing me guts up. That ain't bragging is it?

I feel like i need some vodka now.

Thal

PS  NAFF OFF

[thalbergmad]

injectible eyeliner!  i didn't know it existed. 

It is a shame for you that an injectable brain has not been invented.

Thal

[cmg]

you just made up another post for me. 

Now, now, pianistimo, we don't mind sharing your life with you.  However, it does sounds iike you could use a visit from Jimmy Stewart  -- maybe you two could film "It's a Wonderful Life -- Part 2?"

Say, about those guys "on camels."  That's a typo, I guess.  You probably mean "in Camaros," coz I sent three friends of mine your way -- the Weissmans?-- three brothers, Sid, Mort and Arnie, and they were heading to that strip club your hubby likes.  I told them to stop in to see you if they got lost and needed directions.

Be nice to them!  They're good friends. 

[pianistimo]

mental  patients, i'm assuming.  don't worry.  i keep the door locked.  and, btw, my husband is here as we speak.  he doesn't frequent strip clubs - and if he did he'd be locked out too.  besides - even if he went - his eyes are getting bad.  but, i rather doubt it because he keeps getting bonuses at work.  i don't think he'd get them if he was somewhere's else between 6-7pm.   

[cmg]

mental  patients, i'm assuming.  don't worry.  i keep the door locked.    

Just teasing you, dear lady!  You're a good sport.  Forgive me for yelling at you this year and have a wonderful Christmas. 

I ain't ever gonna change you and you ain't ever gonna change me.  And that sounds like the perfect basis for a friendship! 

[thalbergmad]

mental  patients, i'm assuming.  don't worry.  i keep the door locked.  and, btw, my husband is here as we speak.  he doesn't frequent strip clubs - and if he did he'd be locked out too.  besides - even if he went - his eyes are getting bad.  but, i rather doubt it because he keeps getting bonuses at work.  i don't think he'd get them if he was somewhere's else between 6-7pm.   

Perhaps he is getting bonuses for getting his workmates in free.

Perhaps thats why his eyes are getting bad.

Thal

[pianistimo]

well...hawaii's peaks sound a bit more tahitish.  you have a good holiday, too, cmg!  enjoy your outings!  i went out today for my 26 mile ride.  it was windy so it turned into 8-10 miles at max.  boohoo. 

i think it's hilarious that thal thinks it will be tahitiish at the top of mt blanc.  just wait until the wind starts blowing off the ice at about 4 pm.  he'll be at - hmm. i'm guessing almost 10,000 feet the first day.  about 12, 000 the second - and well - 15,000 plus is just OUT unless he decides for a four day hike to the top.  i'mguessing that thal will return in no less than six days. 

anyways,  he says he can do it in two.  i will believe him in july if he posts a day before and a day after the two days.  otherwise - i just don't think so.  what does he think he is?  a sherpa?  even they had to learn to make 'people piles' to stay warm in those mountain tops at night.

[thalbergmad]

well...hawaii's peaks sound a bit more tahitish.  you have a good holiday, too, cmg!  enjoy your outings!  i went out today for my 26 mile ride.  it was windy so it turned into 8-10 miles at max.  boohoo. 

i think it's hilarious that thal thinks it will be tahitiish at the top of mt blanc.  just wait until the wind starts blowing off the ice at about 4 pm.  he'll be at - hmm. i'm guessing almost 10,000 feet the first day.  about 12, 000 the second - and well - 15,000 plus is just OUT unless he decides for a four day hike to the top.  i'mguessing that thal will return in no less than six days. 

anyways,  he says he can do it in two.  i will believe him in july if he posts a day before and a day after the two days.  otherwise - i just don't think so.  what does he think he is?  a sherpa?  even they had to learn to make 'people piles' to stay warm in those mountain tops at night.

People have climbed it from Chamonix and back in the same day, I am starting from 8,000 feet.

I am not the fittest person in the world, but i climbed and descended Ben Nevis from sea level in 6.5 hours and that is 4409 feet up and 4409 feet back. In addition, i did it in March when it was covered in snow. Therefore, to suggest it will take me 4 days to climb less than 8,000 feet on Mt Blanc is complete madness. But, i would expect nothing else but madness from you.

I would not expect the weather conditions to be more severe than the Cairngorm Plateau in February.

As per normal, you are talking bilge water.

Thal

 

[pianistimo]

what kind of people have climbed it in the same day, thal.  those skinny long legged long distance cross-training triathalon people?  or, sherpas - that breath from gills?  you are NOT going to make it up there in one day.  or two days.  you're going to just lie down at 15,000 ft and you'll still have 574 more feet to go.  you will think of me in your delirium. 

ps ben nevis is only 4,000 plus miles above sea level.  we're talking ALPS, thal.  take some oxygen. 

[thalbergmad]

Well, it certainly aint gonna take me 6 days.

I will get to the top without oxygen and i would be willing to die just to prove you wrong and shut you up.

For the last time, NOBODY needs oxygen on Mt Blanc.

Thal

[pianistimo]

ok.  here's a pic about inclement weather, though.  remember, be prepared.

www.trekearth.com/gallery/Europe/Switzerland/photo81481.htm