are you born after 1982?

[ada]

If so, you are a member of the most narcissistic generation in recent history, according to a San Diego State University study.

This, apparently, is evidenced by the popularity of sites like MySpace and YouTube, which are "all about me", the boffins reckon.

Well I just thought I'd share that with you, congratulations 

Anyone agreed with this research?

[debussy symbolism]

Greetings.

No because before 1982 people didn't have access to "Myspace" and "Youtube," and narcissism doesn't sprout in one night. As you said, the internet is a place where normal rules don't apply and incendentaly, the internet only appeared in the eighties or so and if it should have been active anytime before the results wouldn't have been at all different.

[jlh]

No because before 1982 people didn't have access to "Myspace" and "Youtube," and narcissism doesn't sprout in one night.

Actually people didn't have access to Myspace and Youtube before 2003 and 2005, respectively. 

[alwaystheangel]

Think its the parents of this generations fault. I mean boomers brought their kids up thi way. Petrified of going outdies, getting hurt, suing people if you fall... etc... we didnt do it to ourselves.

if all else fails... BLAME SOCIETY

[arensky]

Think its the parents of this generations fault. I mean boomers brought their kids up thi way. Petrified of going outdies, getting hurt, suing people if you fall... etc... we didnt do it to ourselves.

I couldn't agree with you more. Not only have the boomers inculcated their children with all their hedonistic self centered attitudes but they have twisted the knife so their children are dependent on them, by tying the apron strings ever tighter. Adolescent rebellion hardly exists anymore, the parents are the kids' best friends, so many people in this age group still live at home with their parents after finishing college. What the ****? I couldn't wait to get away from my parents, who are swell people, but...

[lichristine]

i'm quite the opposite of narcissistic (sp?).
i'm not sure which one is worse.

[debussy symbolism]

I couldn't agree with you more. Not only have the boomers inculcated their children with all their hedonistic self centered attitudes but they have twisted the knife so their children are dependent on them, by tying the apron strings ever tighter. Adolescent rebellion hardly exists anymore, the parents are the kids' best friends, so many people in this age group still live at home with their parents after finishing college. What the ****? I couldn't wait to get away from my parents, who are swell people, but...

I am not sure I understand you, but isn't adolescent rebellion considered bad? Yes, teenage years are the hormone years and many experience mood swings and an urge to rebel against set standarts, but many do so to the extent of hurting themselves and others. For any child his or her parents are the first friends he or she encounters, and I really don't see any reason aside from perhaps becoming too dependent on them that they should abstain from living with them or even just staying in close contact.

[lichristine]

parents aren't always friends forever.
rebellion can be good.

[ada]

Aw you guys all want to be punk rockers with flowers in your hair 

Interesting comments though. Perhaps parents have created a generation of dysfunctional young adults by trying to be their friends?

But then that generation of parents was rebelling against their parents and the authoritarian nuclear family.

I guess every generation rebels against the one preceding it. That's how progress happens. Or does it? Do we just go around in stupid circles?

And on the matter of MySpace and YouTube, I think the idea was that they are as much a symptom as a cause of this current social virus of narcissism.

But hey what would I know? I be Gen X. Neither here nor there.

[rach n bach]

Stop the stinkin presses... are you saying that I'm NOT the center of the known universe?!?!?  How dare you!!!   

 

RnB

[rc]

Here's an article on this study: https://advancement.sdsu.edu/marcomm/news/releases/spring2007/pr022707.htm

I must be reading this wrong, it says this was an analysis of college students between '82 and '06...  But, wouldn't the students who filled it out in '82 be closer to our parents age?

I'm from '84, and I'd agree that most of the people I've met around my age are fairly self-centred, but I also see us becoming more balanced as the years pass.  I've just assumed this is how it's always been - kids are full of themselves until they learn otherwise.

I like youtube for entertainment value, motivating piano videos, and the occassional educational video...  Never understood the point of myspace, or personal blogs.  I clicked into some friends pages before but never bothered to actually read anything, why read about someone when you could call them up and hang out?  Seems like one more way to disconnect from experiencing life directly.

[rc]

I really don't see any reason aside from perhaps becoming too dependent on them that they should abstain from living with them or even just staying in close contact.

It's the dependance thing.  At a certain point, the next step is the independance of living on your own (or at least, the dreaded roommates!).

This is what rebellion's good for!  That's about the time where parents and children start grating on each other, the pressure builds until home is such a hell moving out would be a breath of fresh air.  Suddenly everyone gets along great (from a safe distance).  Those who live off their parents too long seem like they're stuck in adolescence.

My younger brother still lives at home.  He moved out for a while but is back for financial concerns - he wants to go to university and would rather not have any expenses.

[arensky]

I am not sure I understand you, but isn't adolescent rebellion considered bad?

No, it's a normal part of the maturing process. We all go through it to an extent.

Yes, teenage years are the hormone years and many experience mood swings and an urge to rebel against set standarts, but many do so to the extent of hurting themselves and others.
For any child his or her parents are the first friends he or she encounters, and I really don't see any reason aside from perhaps becoming too dependent on them that they should abstain from living with them or even just staying in close contact.

The process of maturing for an adolescent IS dangerous; conflicting emotions, uncertainty about new feelings and physical changes, new social challenges. The world changes dramatically for adolescents and it's a difficult time. The confusion leads to a rejection of childish things and that includes parents, who are the embodiment of childhood to the novice adult. It's normal for a maturing person to reject their parents to greater or lesser degrees (depending on that individual's relationship with their parents, some parents are absolutely horrible). Parents should be there to help there children through this difficult time, but not do it for them. We all have to learn to fend for ourselves, and we're the ones that have to do that.

Many people live with their parents or let their parents move in with them when the parents are older, but what's going on today is a different matter. This new generation of parents who want to program and control every aspect of their children's lives are more than a little out of control in many cases. Often this parental concern is a facade for underlying subconcious motives in the parent such as *needing to validate one's own existence* *maintaining power over "your" creation* *an arrogant belief in one's correctness in all things * *a rather sad inability to face the march of time, and move on*.

I am a private teacher, I see parents all the time in that situation and by and large they are not a problem in that context, in fact I enjoy talking with most of them and direct and open communication with them is essential for my piano teaching to be a sucsess. There are always exceptions, though.

I also teach music history at a college. When I started that job I was flabbergasted to find myself receiving phone calls and emails from parents inquring on and demanding to be informed of their offspring's academic performance. I soon found out from my colleaugues and depatment chair that this was not uncommon, and fortunately it's against regulations for me to report to the parents directly. This problem exists at many colleges and universities, and is a major symptom of the larger problem. Many parents today don't know when to let up, and it sends their children the message that they are incompetent. Perhaps this double message received by young people of 1) "You are so wonderful we love you" and 2)"Now don't screw up and I'll be calling you every hour to make sure you aren't " leads to this "narcissism" in the San Diego report. And what generation do those professors belong to, I wonder...

Any way the bottom line is that today's parents need to know when to stop and lay off. By protecting and sheltering their children past an age that is appropriate they are hurting their children and deceiving themselves, in many cases. Add an "s" to mothering and you get smothering. In the end they will only damge the relationship they prize so much. 

As for narcissism in adolescents, that's always been there. Even shy adolescents have fantasies where they are famous rock stars, concert pianists, sports heroes, tycoons, you name it, and they get the "prize" ( a hot mate   ) Ever watch teenagers? They ARE Narcissus, always preening, combing, dressing, styling, making themselves beautiful (they hope) for that special guy or girl.  Youtube/Myspace/Pianostreet/blogs are simply new media of human communication and expression, and young people are using them to act out these fantasies. In fact they are opening up a new era of self expression and creativity; who knows where it will lead. Some place good and interesting, I believe and hope. Andy Warhol was right; in the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.

Oh yeah, and they're places where mom and dad don't go (in most cases)   .

[zheer]

  When we talk about this generation, i think it is important to consider which culture, which country and even which social class. For instance where am from it is perfectly normal for women to live with parents till their late 30eeezzz if they are not married.
          Things like teenage rebellion are few, teenager pregnancy, alcahol and drug dependancy, depression,domestic violence are far less in non western society.Infact speaking to a number of relatives, people seem a lot happier and content despight the Current war.
    To understand todays generation one should watch Gerry Springer show and other countless TV programs that portray the lives of ordinary people. Happy is'nt the word i would use to describe todays generation. Am starting to believe what my mothers generation and even my grandmothers generation are saying, that basically things were a lot better when they were kids.

[jlh]

    To understand todays generation one should watch Gerry Springer show and other countless TV programs that portray the lives of ordinary people. Happy is'nt the word i would use to describe todays generation.

Jerry Springer is entertainment.  Maybe they don't tell that to the English crowd, but they are, yes, ordinary people, but it is staged.  In the real world, it is not like that, at least not to that extent, but people watch because to some degree they can relate to it, but only a very small percent of the population are actually like that -- to that degree.  The guests on Springer are all coached on how to react to whatever happens and they do that because otherwise they wouldn't get to be on TV. 

[cmg]

This new generation of parents who want to program and control every aspect of their children's lives are more than a little out of control in many cases. Often this parental concern is a facade for underlying subconcious motives in the parent such as *needing to validate one's own existence* *maintaining power over "your" creation* *an arrogant belief in one's correctness in all things * *a rather sad inability to face the march of time, and move on*.

Right on, Arensky!  "Narcissism" can also be defined as "self-interest" and from an evoluionary standpoint, it's essential for the survival of human infants.  Consider that these little creatures -- unlike most other mammals that are up walking and fending for themselves in days, even hours -- are totally helpless for months after birth, just lying around, crying, whining for food, etc., dependent on caretakers. 

Freud described the human infant as "His Majesty, The Baby," for a reason.  Babies MUST be the center of attention to survive. 

But, "growing up" is letting yourself move from center-stage, or at least share it.  Boomer parents aren't letting their kids do that for their own regressed, narcissistic needs.  They too much see their kids as just a mini-me.

The times we live in aren't better or worse than other times. 

Let's face it, folks.  Humans are notoriously stupid -- present company excluded, naturally. 

[cmg]

But then that generation of parents was rebelling against their parents and the authoritarian nuclear family.

I guess every generation rebels against the one preceding it. That's how progress happens. Or does it? Do we just go around in stupid circles?

The "rebellion thing" is interesting too.

I think it's very natural.  And I think kids do it to begin to crank up the courage to leave the home and parental control.  It takes guts to move out of your first home.  Getting pissed at the folks, disdaining their values and piercing everything but the damper pedal on the Steinway is a good way to expedite that scary departure.

Kids are great.  Hell, I was even one for a time.

"ada," however is a perennial springtime who deserves our worshipful glance at every opportunity.   

[pianistimo]

in reading this thread, i think something was wrong with me.  i couldn't understand it, when - as rc put it - living at home became hell.  at 24, i was ready for another 10 years.  terrible, i know.  it was comfortable.  my mom cooks really well.  life was good.  they even gave me the car i wrecked. 

now, i must say - i have adifferent experience than some because when i went to college in fairbanks four or five years earlier - i didn't hear from my parents for a year.  i wasn't sure if they were alive.  i think i got a phone call in december.  i dutifully returned home to see if they were ok.  sure enough.  that was around the time some of you were born (1981-82).

then - i go and get married after college and expect all kinds of travel to and fro and letters and stuff.  no.  i am faced with dillemas right and left.  having my first child was really difficult without my mom next door - but i think i grew up at that point.  the second week when the baby was crying - i told my husband 'i can't do this.'  then, something happened to me.  and suddenly, i was in control and it wasn't so bad.  in fact, then, i started NOT missing my parents.  still kept in touch and everything but i didn't rely on them so much.

now - it's odd - but despite how i personally am (i like to have family around and i hope my children live nearby) my daughter is extremely independant and is only 12.  my son is perhaps more like me and probably will have to be kicked out to have any motivation to live alone.  he likes company, to0, and would be tortured to eat alone - let alone not have the luxuries of life that the parents provide.  the last one is somewhere's in the middle - she is independant and also clingy.  just depends on what time of day it is.  towards the evening she wants to just sit and play a game or talk and really needs the social stuff too.

i tend to agree with zheer because it is my comfort zone.  i like knowing that i could fall back on parents/children nearby because #1 i know they are ok  #2 sometimes we all get tired and can use a little help  #3 because in this generation sometimes the children don't know the grandparents as well as they could - and they could take a load off (i would be willing to babysit my grandchildren and take them out).

[thalbergmad]

in reading this thread, i think something was wrong with me. 

That would explain a lot

Thal

[leahcim]

This, apparently, is evidenced by the popularity of sites like MySpace and YouTube, which are "all about me", the boffins reckon.

Why? Do these "boffins" believe those sites aren't used by anyone born before that date?

Odd if that's the case. Moreso I think if you factor in a lot of other me, me, me sites like forums and blogs and usenet and things like that.

I remember when I was a kid and microcomputers first became popular and obviously our teachers, parents and grandparents hadn't used computers...thus 2 myths were born (a) that we as kids were all geniuses with computers [of course for me that was true ] and (b) adults with children can't use technology, [especially dads and aunts]

I laugh like a drain now that 30 odd years later the adverts on TV and general media attitude still seems to support the myths..."Daddy! Can't you network that computer? What a $£"$"wit!" or worse, some kid who has created a homepage [or defaced one with a script he's downloaded] is called a 'computer whizzkid' by the BBC, as though it's still true today.

[soliloquy]

It's not that we're not modest, it's just that we're so awesome it inately exudes itself

[rc]