if we are supposed to relax immediately after the finger lands on the key, does it mean i rest the weight of my arms on the key? or am i suppose to support the arm and hands with my forearm and should not let the weight of the entire arm be pressed onto the key?
i'm rather confuse with how much effort and weight to use to hold down the note before releasing it.

You should use no effort at all.
Remember that after a note has been played any muscular contraction from now on is just wasted energy. You need relaxation for mobility and very fast and short contraction for hitting the key.
Which kind of answer your question.
When you're holding a key down are you hitting it?
No ... then you don't need any contraction.
Try it youself.
Land on a key.
Contract quickly just as your fingertip hit the key.
The key will go down.
Now immediately release any contraction and tension and keep your arm as relaxed as possible.
You won't see the key going up just because you've released all contract.For that to happen it would mean that the recoil of the key action exerts a force that is bigger than the weight of your relaxed arm, and this is just impossible since the force exerted by the key recoil is less than 0.1 ounces.
You can try another way too.
Just place your finger on the key surface.
Push it down with the other hand till the note is depressed all the way down.
Now in this position keep relaxed the arm, hand and every the finger to the point that it feels are light as a feather ... to the point that you have no more control on it and anyone could take your arm and move it in whatever direction.
Look at the depressed key with attention.
It will just lift a little from the keybed but it will remain depressed and the only way to make it go up all the way again is just removing your finger.
Try all these "experiments" many time and you'll just "feel" the kind of contraction/tension you need to keep the key down. You need none.
Try to do this on a digital scales too.
Let the weight of your relaxed arm allow the finger to fall on the scales and contract quickly the moment the finger hit the scales. Look at the scales says.
Now release as much as possible. Keep focusing on the arm and the muscles, release any contraction and any tension. Focus on the arm and focus on making it as light as possible. At one point you won't feel your arm anymore since it is completely relaxed and resting. If you look at the scales the weight will be greatly decreased but still it will be detecting weight. That weight is more than enough to keep a key depressed.