What is the price...

[pianowolfi]

what is the price one pays for being able to make good music? I mean, every single piece I ever made which I consider to be somehow worthy, arose from a sort of imbalanced intensity. Whether it was positive or negative. Extreme being in love, extreme passion, extreme despair or delight, everything extreme causes a creative process in myself. And sometimes I even think that the process of making important decisions about life or what I should do next depends of such extreme states of being. Why? I mean, is this the price? Should I learn to join the extreme without letting it put me down? Is it about avoiding it? Is it about making myself so strong that the extremes can not put me down ever again? Just thinking.....

[bench warmer]

PW, sounds like you maybe have a touch of that Manic/Depressive thing. Lighten-up, have a few breaths of springtime air, have a beer or some wine, go look at some pretty women, you'll still be able to "make good music".

 If "it" is in you, getting "it" out doesn't demand an extreme catalyst (although those extremes can trigger the creative process). Remember, when they wanted Rossini to finish the scores in some of his operas, they locked him in a room and fed him  pasta. That did the trick. Go have a dish of spaghetti & meatballs & some Chianti.

I got to go now and whack my back with those metal-tipped burlap straps;  it's the only thing that gets me motivated. 

[pianistimo]

i think artists tend to be very affected by the world around them.  we don't necessarily live in the most stable world right now.  everyone feels this intensity and heaviness.  it's what you do with it.

as i see it - your idea of understading and improvising on the 'via dolorosa' means you understand that our Savior was tested in all things and yet did not sin.  life wasn't easy for him and everything seemed to 'go wrong' at the end.  how come he didn't quit when he could have.  basically, if he would have talked his way out of being crucified - he would have saved himself a physical death by compromising.

but, when you are willing to accept pain and sufferring for whatever it is that we must learn in this life - then you become stronger after each occurrance.  it would take much more to 'break' you.  not that God gives us more that we are able to take.  i think there is someplace in the bible that says that he does not test us more than we are able.  but, there are always challenging things to life.  at one point - i told God it was more than i could take - and prayed and cried about a certain situation.  immediately it was much better.  the fact that God listens and cares and still strengthens our beings by challenging us to 'go farther.'  to me, God is not stagnant.  otherwise He would accept stagnant human beings.  we are told to 'make disciples of all men...'  this means putting some kind of effort out to show that life is worth living now AND later.

never quit.  never sell your soul to the devil.  be a fisherman of men.  if you think it means connecting by playing piano really well - go for it.  but, don't think that an inanimate object like a piano should control your life.  maintain your control over your life and only allow it a portion of your brain.  the other portion is for dividing with the poor and homeless, etc.  because this is saving some of your rewards for later.  btw, many uneducated people seem to truly appreciate music and it's benefits to mental peace and stability - and are truly thankful for the opportunity to hear music played.  try playing at a homeless shelter.  immediately you will come home feeling good.

[counterpoint]

Should I learn to join the extreme without letting it put me down? Is it about avoiding it? Is it about making myself so strong that the extremes can not put me down ever again? Just thinking.....

Hi pianowolfi, what you write sounds like you take all that happens (and all that you do) extreme important and serious, eventually it has even a religious dimension, as pianistimo speculates.

You seem to be just the counterpart to me 

I don't take anything very serious. Why should it be so important what I feel and what I do? If I decide this way or that way - what effect will it have to other people? A very small to almost none. Perhaps I am a little disillusioned. Life looks like a silly comedy to me sometimes. As in Brahms "Ernste Gesänge": Alles ist eitel! 

https://209.85.129.104/search?q=cache:kcPDy5hgZ2IJ:www.dreifinger.de/download/schule/1213/Deutsch/Semester_1_2/Deutsch33.doc+&hl=de&ct=clnk&cd=4&gl=de

[pianowolfi]

PW, sounds like you maybe have a touch of that Manic/Depressive thing. Lighten-up, have a few breaths of springtime air, have a beer or some wine, go look at some pretty women, you'll still be able to "make good music".

 If "it" is in you, getting "it" out doesn't demand an extreme catalyst (although those extremes can trigger the creative process). Remember, when they wanted Rossini to finish the scores in some of his operas, they locked him in a room and fed him  pasta. That did the trick. Go have a dish of spaghetti & meatballs & some Chianti.

I got to go now and whack my back with those metal-tipped burlap straps;  it's the only thing that gets me motivated. 

Lol I have all that plus an occasionally extreme sillyness and hilarity. Just extreme lol. extreme it must be somehow.

Pianistimo, that you mention "via dolorosa" is interesting, that's one of my pieces I composed a while ago, in 2005 and it is actually a vision of "via dolorosa" What can I do but taking things seriously when I SEE them? And piano is not liveless if you play on it under the influence of ...whatever, you know what I mean, I won't mention directly religious subjects here as I once promised.

And counterpart errrr...counterpoint , what you feel and think might have more meaning that you think right now, however in some sense I think you are right. And I am somebody who takes things seriously, but here I was more referring to the RESULTS, not to my feelings or thoughts themselves actually. I try to work them out so they might have a meaning to somebody else. Like Quantum did with his meditation piece before an operation.
https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php/topic,24825.msg279108.html#msg279108

 I did not know that it has been HIS own operation when I listened to that piece. But I felt something very special, something extraordinary and transcendental, but very human at the same time. That is what it is about, for me, that is what I mean. Just my two cents for now, keep discussing, if you like. 

[Bob]

One of the the things I find satisfying is doing better than I have done previously.  Usually, that requires more effort, or a new idea, etc.  which can kind of seem "unbalanced" compared to my "normal." 

However, some of the best praise I've gotten is for stuff I did as routine that really didn't register in my mind as any great effort or anything special.  I was thinking, "Hmmm... That turned out ok... but back to other things..."   So can't discount the things I don't consider important myself -- They may be my best stuff but I don't realize it.