"What I Really Mean" -- Improv

[m1469]

What do I say ?  Well, I will admit something here -- you should probably be ready to sit down and really listen if you decide to click on this link -- somehow I poured out my guts. 

This file is .5 MB too big to upload to PS, so I used putfile (it's 22:29 mins long  ).

https://media.putfile.com/What-I-Really-Mean

At the moment now, and during the time I improvised this, I feel/felt it is perhaps the most honest thing I have ever done. I may feel differently in the morning, but I am going to try to get myself to keep this here, and I am not even quite sure as to why that is...

[pianowolfi]

You are taking the listener (very friendly) to a very interesting journey. I can say that I would love to listen to something like this even if it was two hours long. Or more . You know me, when I see things (like in nature for instance) I use to hear music in my mind. When I listen to music I see things in my mind. I am definitely nothing for purists lol . The intervals in the beginning section make my mind open, they are saying to me: you may discover unexpected things during this journey. The following part I can't comment I just can say that I am completely lost in listening there until about 6.15, this is a part where I have the impression that birds come in, I call it "birds and thirds" About 7.45 it gets dark and I feel like you want to tell me a dark secret. Nothing evil of course, a dark view of the absolute perhaps?
Around 10.00 and a bit before I have the imagination of a place that is deeper than everything on earth, like deeper than the deepest cave. Around 12 something it gets jazzy and a bit cappricious until about 14. Very cheering! Then you are turning inwards and sharing with us something like a dialogue with yourself. It is very touching to listen to this intimate dialogue and it's very beautiful! 

From 18.30 it gets somehow sad, like you would describe a walk through a desert with a burden that you have to bear and nobody around who can be with you. But still you know that you will go on, even if it may sometimes be hard. The vanishing into the silence (morendo) is very touching again, it's like your energy to talk has gone for the moment and you need to rest and recover. And while you rest and perhaps sleep there is a whole other process going on in the silence....I listen now to this silence, just a bird whistles outside here and I am thinking and dreaming....and reflecting your journey

Thank you for sharing this, it is very precious!

Now, half an hour later, I am still listening in my mind and thinking...

And now in the afternoon I would like to take it with me on my bike-ride, but my I-pod plays too softly and I guess I'd better focus on the sunday- traffic 

[Derek]

This piece had a lot of very surprising harmonic changes in it. very nice. parts of
the piece remind me of the kind of atmosphere ravel achieved in the second movement
of gaspard de la nuit. I can't remember what that second movement is called but I
remember thinking it was wicked cool.

I notice in a lot of your recent improvs a lot of composition-like form coming in.

1:10 - cool chords
1:25 - I like the entrance of the left hand melody here
2:35 - sounds like the melody entering again. very very cool
3:10 - creepy cool harmonies
8:00 - love the low creepy stuff
10:00 - more low creepy stuff. awesome (must be my death metal side enjoying this part)
12:24 - cool rhythms and harmonies here.
14:06 - sounds like a soft hymn being sung by a choir in the distance or something
15:16 - nice harmonies, kind of alternating between creepyness and soft hymness or something
17:00 - I like the free counterpoint here
17:22 - that rising creepy low thing is coming back.
18:30 - the repeating figure aids in the creepiness. makes me think of a ghost town
19:51 - I love how that high melody enters. very cool

[m19834]

Wow, I absolutely can't believe that I never commented back to at least say thank you to you both !  How rude of me !!!    Thank you for taking the time to listen to this improv and to comment as you have !  I apologize profusely for not thanking you earlier.  I have to admit that I have often felt a bit shy about posting my improvs in the first place, and sometimes thought that people may feel obligated to comment, so that made me a bit shy to respond sometimes.  However, even if that were the case, it helped me to continue opening up !  (for whatever that has been worth !).

In any respect, I am not sure why I am going back through some of this stuff, but I am.  And, I know there are probably a bunch more threads and improvs where people have responded to me and I have not responded back !  I feel really badly, sorry !  It's like sometimes things just pour out of me and then I don't have any more words ... argh !

[quantum]

I'm a bit confused K = m1469?

[m19834]

K. = M.?

That is correct.  However, M. is not active anymore.