haha well, for me it's a source of pride, and pride is one reason why I have never sought instruction, even on this board I use it for a relaying of ideas.
Yes, I understand. It's interesting, so, you must feel as though you have a
choice in the matter ? As though there is an instruction that you
could just find in a person if you wanted to, that would lay everything out for you, individually, and you would not have to figure it out on your own ? Personally, I don't think I have ever found that kind of instruction in another person for almost anything. I won't close doors and windows, but, I have just never found it yet. So, as far as being a self-learner, I don't really feel as though I have a choice in the matter, and actually, I don't feel any of us do. Nobody has all the answers for any of us -- we always have to find those on our own. So, I don't know, I don't really see the pride in that -- at least not in a way where I can feel as though I am doing something that everybody else is not; I don't feel that this would make me "unique" -- or any more of who I am already.
On that note, I value what others have discovered and that which, I find, saves me time in my own journey -- I am grateful that I don't have to completely reinvent the wheel, so to speak. I have found that I tend to latch onto certain things that resonate with me, and other things I don't do that with -- or at least not right away. If I run across a teacher who is trying hard to "make" me learn something, even if the lesson is "independence" -- I pull away. That's just how I am. Should I be proud of that ? Not in a way that I think this makes me "unique" -- I think we all do this to some extent, depending on our individual needs at the time. We really don't have a choice about independence, and any teacher claiming to teach me it, well, they aren't really giving me the goods then, are they ?
Anyway, I don't seek independence at all. I seek full dependence because it's an entirely different frame of mind, and an entirely different experience in life, too -- but,
on what, makes all the difference.
I also wonder about teaching stifling individuality...in artistry aswell as method.
What I am and moreover what I'll be...is unique, and I wonder if I had traditional instruction ..would I be as unique?
I see. Yes, that is a good question. You know, we are all unique in our own individual ways

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