I suppose what I could regret, if anything ever, would be time I spent living out and reaching forward with the wrong intentions in life.
When I sit at the instrument, when I let go of all the things I feel I have to be or all of the things that the world says that I am, suddenly I find my breath; I find my life. There are so many things that would like to distract a person from a clear, calm, quiet knowing -- a calm and quiet moment; the kind that allows one to hear and explore what lay beneath the audibles -- the kind of inaudible that only lay within, though echoes throughout.
My intentions ? Explore, discover, become.
No matter who comes and goes in my life, I will sit at the piano and I will eventually find myself again. No matter what is happening around me, I will sit at the piano and eventually find a world that somewhere, somehow makes sense to me, in a completely nonsensical way. Whatever other voices there are screaming to be heard, whatever tragedies are trying hard to be seen -- I will bow my inner self, I will go within and the piano will meet me there.
I will regret living a life with the intentions to live a life without regrets. My intentions are just to live, just to survive. And, I want to find myself -- at the instrument, in my own way. What is there to regret in that ? Probably a lot, actually. I will miss out on other things this way. But, if I go to other things, I will miss out on my piano life -- in the end, I think I will perhaps regret the latter, more -- at least if I just stop growing as a pianist.
I remember my very first public performance. I didn't know I was supposed to be nervous, and I wasn't. But then, I stepped onto stage and there were all those people looking at me -- and, there was this ... expectation in the air. What did I do ? I quietly turned to the instrument for solace. Afterall, I knew that world -- that was my home. I sat down, I moved my hair to the side of my face to curtain my view of the audience, and their view of me, and I played. That's it. I just played; it's that simple. And, I remember their applause. Yes, I liked it.
My intentions are to find that world. At all costs ? No. But, life will go on all on its own. I have a choice what to do with my hands, with my mind, with my soul.
Original question: no, even though I'm at an early stage I'm sure it never will
And here's the reasons why and why I attach it to m1469's post...
Playing the piano has become such an obvious part of life for me, but here it is, PART. I have lived life in a variety of ways even though I am only 17. I have been extremely religious, hard working, and thoughtful, and on the other hand, have criticised everything I believed, have been lazy (although actually most people wouldn't say so!) and in my eyes dissolute, but coming from a very quiet background, I have blossomed out in the multitude of experiences I have had and the understanding I now seem to have of most things.
OK i think this is difficult to understand, let me explain how I refer to m1469. I have felt extremely confused about wanting to pursue one thing only, and then regretting the other things which I wasn't doing. Now I have found that those other things HAVE TO BE DONE in order to play the piano, or simply make music in a general sense. I also play the cello and sing, and I have managed to make those three things overlap so I could learn any to a high level I believe. I have drawn connections about technique and musicality between these different areas and have managed to understand how I could do all of these at the same time. I will now concentrate on the piano for University, but my skill on the other instruments will not be lost.
TO m1469: I think you have to search in what you are doing singing a ling to piano playing. I have found that for me the voice box is equivalent to the hand, and breathing to the body/arm for piano. the voice shapes the sound, produces an infinitely precise sonority which has to be worked on hard to be achieved. The breath accounts for the support of the voice, the attachment to the rest of the body and therefore must come from a flexible working together of the voice with the WHOLE body to produce the most musicality and beauty. In the piano, the hand shapes the greatest part of the sonority, technique, but the arm and body are what contribute to the essential elements of the shape of the music and the representation of what is inside your soul.
This might sound extremely vague and unscientific, but the human brain does not work only by loigic. I use logic for technique, but at the same time, my technique is enhanced by vitality and emotion in the musicality which I can only achieve through having a strong character.
Therefore, as the character comes out through the playing, and character comes from the rest of the life impressions we have, we must try to live life at its full before concentrating on how to represent that in our playing, or at best, life life on an equal level with piano playing and do not make piano such a high priority that our very center of musicality is lost.
Sorry for the ramble, I love talking about what I think, even though I know that for many it is wrong. I apologise for length, as I often also dislike long comments, and for those who do not agree with me, it is just personal opinion....
I have no regrets. Life teaches me to play the piano, and focusing in on it absolutely is only necessary to be an international star, which I know I shall never be or want to be! I want to integrate piano as part of myself and what I am, and can even drop it if I can not live how I want to, although I believe that will never happen, and music will always be there to pick me up.
Topic: Have you ever regretted making piano a priority ?