Post here if you're socially inept

[opus10no2]

 

Going with my other thread, I did notice that social ability among pianists is perhaps less than that of the average person?

Consider the type of personality it takes to gravitate to an instrument with a primarily solo repertoire.

The ego seems to be more important with piano, with pianists expressing pride *at* the piano, and often discomfort *away* from it.

[jlh]

Seems you're the only one that's socially inept here, since you're the only one that's posted...

*dangit* I just posted here!

Josh

[debussy symbolism]

Greetings

Although anyone's posting in this thread wouldn't necessarily denote that they are inept at anything, in my case, I'll admit that I am heavily bothered by any social conduct and cannot usually communicate well with others. Ever since I became a teenager I became more reclusive to the point that I was bothered by talking to anyone. Also, I was a heavy stutterer during high school so that also added in to my unpopularity and social awkwardness. Not perfectly fluent in speech, I could see that my peers were uncomfortable talking to me and people generally avoided me because of that. Even though I am comfortable talking when provoked (and it is very easy to provoke me to talk; just start a conversation), I am known to never shut up. I love to talk and converse, I detest to socialize.

I can also nevermake any friends. I simply can't. Yes, I enjoy a word or two with someone, usually in a sarcastic tone , and never like to spend time with anyone. I start feeling uncomfortable and usually feel the need to be with myself. As people get older they start getting free of the "oh he is annoying" grasp. Still however, I can see that many peers were dissatisfied with my conversations and ended up in making stupid remarks around me when socializing with others. When I was younger, I was extremely "annoying" to many peers. I used to memorize science trivie(astronomy, biology, paleontology, geology, and other sicences) and used to ask random people very specific questions such as "Do you know the 3rd phase of mitosis; do you know what the 'proton-proton' reaction is," and so on. However, now people still tend to think that I am not cool to talk to and may even mock me at times. A school councelor once made a remark to me that many people are very social, but do not develop individual skills.

[dnephi]

I have troubles, but they are not innately connected with my love of music. 

I have improved, though, and I am told that I'm alright now.

[soliloquy]

 

[franzliszt2]

I am very socially inept. I am very shy in front of strangers. I was always slightly odd at school, in that I practiced all the time and liked very few people. The whole idea of the "normal person" made me want to be abnormal. I simply didn't care about how I looked, so I'd get dressed and leave looking like a total mess ( I still do this), becasue I just do not care. Concerts and other events will provoke me to tidy myself up. I find talking to "normal people" annoying, probably becasue of my own inborn snobbynish which I am ashamed of but don't seem to be able to get rid of. The average person just annoys me, the sort of people who will just be happy to do nothign with their lives and be happy to sit in a bad job earning no money, go home switch on the tv and sit like a cabbage! So that made me dislike 80% of my school, and I had no respect for any teachers becasue they didn't like me becasue I was different. Therfore I found it hard to socialise.

I find talking to pianists incredibly easy, and can talk for hours with them (unless they are ignorant pianists). Maybe it's becasue I'm in a conseravtoire, so I am literally surrounded by musicans all the time. I'm on holiday now, so I'm living with my parents for  the summer, and I am finding it hard becasue nobody understands anything and I am so different from my parents they don't understand me at all. I spend my life now and probably for the duration of the summer practicing, reading, and walking round art galleries. So I don't really have an active social life at all. Even sitting in a cafe makes me uneasy when I see people. The thign that makes me go insane is when you see people who used to go to school with you, and they talk to you! and you have to talk back! I can't do that.  And when I'm back at college most converstaion is about music and random humour which I'm sure only a musician could only understand.

I think most musicians have a very "artistic temerament" and klive in a different world. I've never met a normal musician who is very good. The ones who are god tend to be wierd.

[thalbergmad]

I do not like people in general and rarely socialise.

Most people get on my tits and i prefer my own company.

That is why i like this place so much. If only people had "off" buttons.

Thal

[chidi]

That is why i like this place so much. If only people had "off" buttons.

Thal

They do. Though it's covered by a skull. So all you need is a hammer.

-Chidi

[thalbergmad]

Indeed, i did try that once but got 6 months in the nuthouse.

Thal

[lichristine]

"I like the Wizard of Oz....."



I wonder if anyone will understand that.

[ahinton]

Most people get on my tits...

...If only people had "off" buttons.
Thal

Are you suggsting here that these two things are in a sense one and the same?...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

Are you suggsting here that these two things ae in a sense one and the same?...

Best,

Alistair

No, i am not suggsting those two things ae anything.

Tlah

[ahinton]

No, i am not suggsting those two things are anything.

Thal

Thank you for clarifying that; now that we know this, we may conclude that, if pianistimo is to press any of your buttons, they won't be those ones (or, if they will be, you'll keep that to yourself, naturellement)...

What's social ineptitude got to do with buttons anyway?

Best,

Alistair

[amelialw]

I tend to be shy in front of a lot of people, and that was a big problem when I was in school because I couldnt communicate what I felt...even now my shyness tends to be a problem but I think i`m starting to overcome it after playing the piano in front of others more. A few times people have made a comment about me that I have a shell around me all the time and it makes me seem so unfriendly and proud...so on but when I open up to people they really want to be my friend. The few special friends that I have are the ones who know me for what I am inside. I have quite many musician friends and I can talk to them practically for hours. My really special someone is my piano teacher though because I can talk to her about everything and she will understand or try to understand at least and she`s the one that stops me from giving up on my big dream and always helps me to fix something when things go wrong be it with anyone or music.

[rc]

I used to be pretty akward around people, it made me pretty miserable.  I still have my moments, but overall I'd say I've become socially adjusted.  What I've learned is that I need my periods of solitude peppered with socializing.  Too much socializing and I gradually pick up bad attitudes (drama, bitching and BS).

franzliszt2:  I would suggest that the key to having more people understand you is to make an effort to understand them.  The average person is more than what you see at first glance, and I doubt you got to know 80% of your school well enough to truely know you didn't like them.  The average person each does their part in the world as we do, everyone has their joys, disappointments, families, their own unique life.  Nobody will ever be interested in understanding you if you've already decided they're cabbage.

[franzliszt2]

Oh I got to know them all alright. I was there for 7 years! In that pit that was called "school". I had to put up with these annoying plebs for all that time. Even the teachers annoyed me to no end with there ignorance. They all lived with this view that you had to watch tv all day and go out clubbing. I have no desire whatsoever to understand them. I woulnd't waste my time, I have happier then I ever was now becasue I don't have to go to school anymore. I don't want them to understand me either. I was always totally different to all of them. They didn't have a clue about music, and what was worse was the teachers who thought they were above all of the students, and this one teacher thought he was the height of culture, when really he was nothing but a man who had classic fm on in his car!! And he used to attempt to talk to me about opera and stuff as if he was smart, and he annoyed me.

I was always reminded I was different as well, which isn't very nice when you're 15 years old. When I was 16-17 I was in an even worse situation. I was getting concert oppurtunity's and stuff, so that meant time away from school to practice. I never missed lessons I was taking, but since I was given permission to take less subjects I had so much free time I wasn't going to sit at school! So I used to escape and go home. So I didn't see that many people, and my registration teacher hardly knew who I was halfway through my last year!

I blame school for my lack of social skills!!!

[rc]

I blame school for my lack of social skills!!!

heh, this reminds me of a teacher I had, at the end of grade 12 he says "you'll be lucky if you remember 5% of what you learn here, what's most important is the social skills"...  and I thought 'damn! all the time I spent doing homework and writing tests!'.    But he was right, most of what I'd learned in school I never use so it's either forgotten or just trivia floating in my head.  I like having diverse friends, none of them likes classical but our commonalities lie elsewhere.  Their different interests can be helpful too, like anytime I need help with my car.

But you're not me, and if you're happy doing your own thing that's cool.

[gilad]

"I like the Wizard of Oz....."



I wonder if anyone will understand that.

I pondered your statement for 10 minutes yet have no clue what you mean. I like the wizard of oz too.

Please explain your statement( :