Help I'm dying

[mycrabface]

currently someone is singing an out of tune song. I CANT STAND IT

[thalbergmad]

Shoot them, it is the most humane thing you can do.

Thal

[mycrabface]

Shoot them, it is the most humane thing you can do.

Thal

Hmm.. That's quite a coincidence... I'm finding pictures of guns on yahoo (for my art project)

[ahinton]

currently someone is singing an out of tune song. I CANT STAND IT

Don't you surely mean that someone is singing a song out of tune? (although I'd hope that they'd have stopped doing so by now...)

Best,

Alistair

[mycrabface]

Don't you surely mean that someone is singing a song out of tune? (although I'd hope that they'd have stopped doing so by now...)

Best,

Alistair

It was some christian song...
How great..... Is the Lord..... Sing with me, how great, is the Lord, and all will see how great, how great, is the Lord.
Can't get it out of my head

[mycrabface]

Oh no. I can hear people chanting 'brussel sprouts' over and over again now.

[pianistimo]

i often turn on stations, too, that have messages as well as singing.  if you don't like the singing - at least listen to the message.  i heard a good one the other day.  it was about how God can use 'problems' as 'solutions' for your life.  we always thing 'problem, problem.'  but, perhaps it is something we can learn from and grow.  even the worst kinds of problems.  easier said than done without prayer, though.  it seems that prayer helps that peace of mind back - instead of thinking so much about the seeming 'problem.'

singing praises to God doesn't have to be in tune, also.  people that want to praise God can do so in any language and with any kind of talent.  He doesn't specify that only good singers can praise him.  mostly just try to blend in and not stick out too much (unless i think of some good alto harmonies). 

[ahinton]

i often turn on stations, too, that have messages as well as singing.  if you don't like the singing - at least listen to the message.  i heard a good one the other day.  it was about how God can use 'problems' as 'solutions' for your life.  we always thing 'problem, problem.'  but, perhaps it is something we can learn from and grow.  even the worst kinds of problems.  easier said than done without prayer, though.  it seems that prayer helps that peace of mind back - instead of thinking so much about the seeming 'problem.'

You just never let up, do you?! This kind of "message" is of absolutely no use to anyone who does not share your beliefs or something not too far from them - in other words, to many millions of people - so what would be the point of that? One may as well give people a message containing the weather forecast in Albanian...

singing praises to God doesn't have to be in tune, also.

But surely some efforts should be made; "let us sing unto the lord a new song" and sing it as well as possible, surely (for those who want to do that). 

people that want to praise God can do so in any language and with any kind of talent.  He doesn't specify that only good singers can praise him.

He doesn't specify anything at all, Susan!

mostly just try to blend in and not stick out too much (unless i think of some good alto harmonies). 

The great English composer William Byrd (before 1540-1620) is famously credited as having said
"Since singing is so good a thing
I wish all men would learn to sing"
and, some 3½ centuries later, Sorabji paraphrased it to
"Since singing is so good a thing
I wish most men and women would learn to shut up and recognise that singing is so good a thing"
which, of course, scans very badly but at least makes the point that to sing well takes years of intense work and physical development. Put into your Christian context, I must tell you that, even if I were a Christian, no one would ever catch me singing praises to God, as my singing voice is terrible and accordingly unworthy to attempt such a thing! Would you really be prepared to put up with listening to the B minor Mass or the St. Matthew Passion sung badly - even if you weren't a Christian?

Best,

Alistair

[jlh]

i often turn on stations, too, that have messages as well as singing.  if you don't like the singing - at least listen to the message.  i heard a good one the other day.  it was about how God can use 'problems' as 'solutions' for your life.  we always thing 'problem, problem.'  but, perhaps it is something we can learn from and grow.  even the worst kinds of problems.  easier said than done without prayer, though.  it seems that prayer helps that peace of mind back - instead of thinking so much about the seeming 'problem.'

singing praises to God doesn't have to be in tune, also.  people that want to praise God can do so in any language and with any kind of talent.  He doesn't specify that only good singers can praise him.  mostly just try to blend in and not stick out too much (unless i think of some good alto harmonies). 

That's why I don't listen to Christian music... not that I don't agree with the message, but the fact that I can't stand the music.  Think of everything you don't like about pop/rock music these days, and multiply it, adding a little cheese here and there with the melodies and harmonies, and you have Christian music. 

I'd rather listen to mainstream rock.  At least then the stations have a much bigger pool of talent to choose from.

[wishful thinker]

1. Upon the rivers of Babylon, there we sat and wept: when we remembered Sion:
2. On the willows in the midst thereof we hung up our instruments.
3. For there they that led us into captivity required of us the words of songs. And they that carried us away, said: Sing ye to us a hymn of the songs of Sion.
4. How shall we sing the song of the Lord in a strange land?
5. If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand be forgotten.
6. Let my tongue cleave to my jaws, if I do not remember thee: If I make not Jerusalem the beginning of my joy.
7. Remember, O Lord, the children of Edom, in the day of Jerusalem: Who say: Rase it, rase it, even to the foundation thereof.
8. O daughter of Babylon, miserable: blessed shall he be who shall repay thee thy payment which thou hast paid us.
9. Blessed be he that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock.

and look what you get to...Merkin foreign policy

[thalbergmad]

He doesn't specify that only good singers can praise him. 

Told you that last night did he?

My favourite hymn:

Fight the good fight with all thy might.
Sit on a box of dynamite.
Light the fuse and you will see.
The fastest way to eternity.

Anon 1970's

Thal

[ahinton]

Told you that last night did he?

Never mind when He told her that (if indeed He did so); what matters is that, even if He did, He ain't right!

My favourite hymn:

Fight the good fight with all thy might.
Sit on a box of dynamite.
Light the fuse and you will see.
The fastest way to eternity.

Anon 1970's

Thal

Mine's the one below, which you, Thal, might recall my posting on this forum about 8 months or so ago. You asked for it then, so you get it again now - the dreadful ditty of the Victorian English Bible-beater Sabine Baring-Gould as transcribed not so much by a Latter-day Saint as by an extremely unsaintly latter-day Godowsky...

"Onward, Christian soldiers, posting with decorum,
With the cross of Jesus hanging o’er this fourm
Christ, the royal Master, leads against the foe;
Forward into battle see our Pianistimo!

Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.

At the sign of triumph Thalbergmad doth flee;
Hurling great flat earths at Christianity!
Hell’s for our Prometheus, sane as are his ways;
Brother Pianowolfi must keep out of Susan’s gaze!

Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.

Like the US army moves the church of God;
Brothers, Sue keeps preaching – never mind how odd.
Though they’re all derided, all Pianistimi,
One in hope and doctrine? – nah, all alone, that’s She.

Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.

What the Bible tells Her, that She holds for true
What the saints believèd, She believes it too.
Long as earth endureth, She the faith will hold,
Kingdoms, nations, empires, all in our Susan’s mould.

Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.

Flesh and bones may perish, dollars rise and wane,
But the church of Susan drives us still insane.
Gates of hell can never gainst our Suze prevail;
She has Christ’s own promise, while we’re all beyond the pale.

Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus going on before.

Onward, forum members, join our happy throng,
Blend with ours your voices in the fugal song.
Glory, laud and honor unto Sue the Queen,
Though She might despise us coz She don’t know where we’ve been.

Onward, Christian Susan, preaching ever sure,
Making cross our forum; who could bore 'em more?!

Actually, I cannot stand hymns ancient and prehistoric, if I'm honest...

Best,

Alistair

[timothy42b]

singing praises to God doesn't have to be in tune, also. 

Theoretically I agree with you.

But in practice I just find it too painful.  Out of tune singing generates akathisia for me. 

Part of the problem is the fault of the music.  Some praise and worship music is good, but much of it is awful, and has two problems that contribute to being out of tune.  One is that standard cadences are rarely used, a lot of the music relies on quartal harmonies and/or eschews resolution, giving the average singer nowhere to anchor pitch.  The other is that much of it is soloistic, with wide unpredictable leaps not suited for the average hymn singer. 

[ahinton]

Theoretically I agree with you.

But in practice I just find it too painful.  Out of tune singing generates akathisia for me.

Better not listen to John Tavener's Akathist of Thanksgiving, then...

Best,

Alistair

[mycrabface]

i often turn on stations, too, that have messages as well as singing.  if you don't like the singing - at least listen to the message.  i heard a good one the other day.  it was about how God can use 'problems' as 'solutions' for your life.  we always thing 'problem, problem.'  but, perhaps it is something we can learn from and grow.  even the worst kinds of problems.  easier said than done without prayer, though.  it seems that prayer helps that peace of mind back - instead of thinking so much about the seeming 'problem.'

singing praises to God doesn't have to be in tune, also.  people that want to praise God can do so in any language and with any kind of talent.  He doesn't specify that only good singers can praise him.  mostly just try to blend in and not stick out too much (unless i think of some good alto harmonies). 

This has turned into another christian thread... Nah I was in class.. Those were REAL people chanting brussell sprouts. And later on there was talk about tampons. After that they were talking about what to name their future kids. Someone said something like," what if someone names her child ABCDEFGHIJK....Z? Then how would the teacher call him? A to Z! Come here!"

[jlh]

It was some christian song...
How great..... Is the Lord..... Sing with me, how great, is the Lord, and all will see how great, how great, is the Lord.
Can't get it out of my head

This has turned into another christian thread... Nah I was in class.. Those were REAL people chanting brussell sprouts. And later on there was talk about tampons. After that they were talking about what to name their future kids. Someone said something like," what if someone names her child ABCDEFGHIJK....Z? Then how would the teacher call him? A to Z! Come here!"

Well, hate to say it, but YOU turned it into a christian thread... best be careful what info you give out to describe your problems...

Josh

[gilad]

Thalbergmad still cracks me up:P Shoot them its the most humane thing you can do. HAHAHA.

[pianistimo]

timothy42b, this is one instance where i completely agree with you.  although never heard the term akasthesia before - i tend to be similar and hate to hear off-pitch singing myself.  and, have transposed songs to be in a better range.  and yet, as you say - it's still unclear in some praise songs what the 'key' is because of lack of tonal center that repeats basic notes.

although lately, many churches are now resorting to countering this lack of musical ability in their churches by playing audio/video clips of other more musical groups that they can 'sing along' with.  i think it's heresy - but what do i know.  i'm just a musician that is out of work now because of these vidio clips.  which - i think are stupid because the songs repeat over and over so much that by the end of the first verse - you could literally look at the ceiling and know what comes next. 

[thalbergmad]

i think it's heresy - but what do i know.   

Not a lot

[pianistimo]

so...what is your suggestion for this dying person?

[thalbergmad]

Ear plugs

[pianistimo]

i thought it was 'shoot them.'  do i sense agony aunt here?

[ahinton]

i thought it was 'shoot them.'  do i sense agony aunt here?

Never mind that - what about my onwards and upwards (or more likely downwards)  Christian soldiers (of whom you've so far avoided mention?)...

Best,

Alistair

[mycrabface]

Ear plugs

Ear plugs are for old people... Jk.. I have this phobia that if I wear ear plugs, it'll never be able to come out

[timothy42b]

We'll see if this definition will cut-and-paste.

akathisia (′a·kə′thiz·ē·ə)
(medicine) Motor restlessness ranging from a feeling of inner disquiet, often localized in the muscles, to an inability to sit still or lie quietly.