Well, I know there have been some definitions given on this board about what it means to be an "advanced" pianist and so on. At this point, I think I don't care as much whether or not I fall into that category or any other one -- I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to be competent -- but, what's
more than "compentent" really ?
I think I am constantly striving to be just
competent -- not even "perfect" anymore, just competent -- and, in some respect I hope that I will always strive for this throughout my entire career. If I were to describe the way I *feel* and perhaps *think* about it, I would say I feel as though I am a constant beginner. Most times this has driven me completely crazy ... but, now, I wonder ... would I really want it any other way ?
Mind you, I don't believe nor have the sense and notion that I am staying in the same spot

. Perhaps I am a competent beginner -- as I let that echo in me, it seems there is actually quite a bit of confidence in that attitude/concept for me

.
Somehow I am breathing just the slightest bit better now, and maybe I will breathe even better as the day goes on and I ponder this a bit. It's almost as though a weight is being lifted from me and even the bothersome, constant tension in my neck is being released

.