Moral Dilemma

[soliloquy]

Ok so I got hit on by this guy last night.

He's probably the cutest guy I have ever seen in the past 2 years; if you know who brent corrigan is, he puts him to shame.  He's 6'1" and has a very deep voice.  Oh, and he plays piano and likes Stockhausen.


So I ask him, "How old are you?"


He says "Just turned 16."



*** (btw, i'm 19).



He's legal age, but I dunno it just seems sorta wrong =/  What do you guys think is the lowest age I could be in a relationship with if I'm 19?  The problem is that he's really tall and has a really deep voice and pretty smart, so I thought he was my age or older. ><

[ada]

Well it's not like you're 29 and he's 15. And he hit on you, right? It's not as if you are being a predator.

I'm not sure what the laws are where you are but morally, if you are both consenting, I wouldn't think there was much of an issue.  It's not as if anyone's going to get pregnant, is it 

Would it be any less perplexing if you were straight and it was a case of a 15 year old girl and a 19 year old guy?

I don't think you'd want to be in a relationship with anyone much younger though, mainly because it would be like going out with your little brother, I would imagine.

Good luck!

EDIT: Also, I meant to say, there are 19 year olds and there are 19 year olds. You seem like a nice guy.

[thalbergmad]

Only 3 years difference old chap.

If you were 30 and he was 27, you would not even think twice.

Some 16 year olds can look a lot older,  so if you aint gonna get locked up, i say go for it.

Thal

[soliloquy]

Would it be any less perplexing if you were straight and it was a case of a 15 year old girl and a 19 year old guy?


EDIT: You seem like a nice guy.

I live in Alabama, so there is a lot of backwoods logic when it comes to gays.  It's always about "recruiting my children" and "turning my children gay".  People around here also seem to have a lot of shotguns 

And wow you're probably like the second person ever on this forum to say I'm a nice guy XP  <3

Some 16 year olds can look a lot older, so if you aint gonna get locked up, i say go for it.

He looks and sounds 19/20.



Anyway I would really like to get some more opinions on this, particularly maybe from a woman or two.  Or some straight guys even XD

[richard black]

I live in Alabama, so there is a lot of backwoods logic when it comes to gays.  It's always about "recruiting my children" and "turning my children gay".  People around here also seem to have a lot of shotguns 

Mmm, bummer Bummer BUMMER!! That would make me think twice too. But it does sound like a good opportunity. I mean, when I was a 19-year-old, a fit 16-year-old girl hitting on me would have been an instant YESSSS!

[cziffra]

typically there's a 2 year rule till both parties are 18

[cmg]

"Moral Dilemma?"

This worry from this particular 19-year-old regarding the seductive overtures of a 16-year-old?  This same 19-year-old who verbally eviscerated, just recently, with astonishing cruelty, the poster with the screen-name of "mephisto" in the thread in this section entitled "Best NON piano Orchestral Pieces?" 

This same 19-year-old who was rightly criticized by the Danish poster ("gymnopedist") for his vicious attack on "mephisto?"

This same 19-year-old who, when bored and irritable, repeatedly and arrogantly, attacks and insults any poster he wishes to and often later recants his rashness with a perfunctory apology?

And now we are asked to legislate on the "morality" of his sex life in Alabama?

I'd rather not. 

Anymore than I would like to respond to pianistimo for her strange late-night, right-wing rants against the UN and other oddities of her perception of the so-called American Left.  These rants, given their growing incoherence, seem fueled by alcohol, although, of course, as a so-called  Christian, she certainly doesn't imbibe. 
 
There are limits to tolerance of free speech.  Nineteen-year-olds may express whatever they wish but cruelty is intolerable in a civilized society.  The internet appears to be the last frontier of incivility.  No one, in their cyber-anonymity, apparently, is truly responsible.  Things are said here that would result in a physical assault or litigation in a world outside of the internet.  Soliloquy's personal attacks on those he finds "stupid" are breathtaking and unbearable to read.  They are often savage.  They would not be tolerated in the civilized society that I am familiar with. 

"Gymnopedist" has recently challenged his comments.  Soliloquy's rebuttal, disturbingly, was qualified and slightly tempered.  In the thread "Best NON piano orchestral pieces," he defended his vitriol by stating, essentially, that Pianostreet, with its innate stupidity and viciousness, has driven to madness such marvels of mental stability as "mozartian" and "koji."  The implication being that he is among those wonders of mental-health who have been corrupted -- in short, he is not responsible for his cruel attacks.  Pianostreet's innate stupidty has forced his hand.  Forgetting, of course, that he is the hands-down forum leader in the bloodiest verbal assaults on other participants here.

I'm no more interested in why soliloquy engages in his sadistic attacks on others as I am in pianistimo's right-wing rants.  What mystifies me is this forum's indulgence of this teenager's arrogant, attacking behavior.  And his curiously naive, sexual confessions that become, astoundingly, forum topics.  He needs correction and guidance.  Not ennabling. 

Naturally, after these inflammatory statements, I cannot return.

Consider me banned.

There's no need to respond.  Hail and farewell.

[gilad]

Morals are relative. If you're obeying the law of the land you're doing well( ;

[thalbergmad]

Forgetting, of course, that he is the hands-down forum leader in the bloodiest verbal assaults on other participants here.

I find that insulting.

How about some of mine?

Thal

[counterpoint]

As I understand it, there is no legal problem, since the "age of consent" is 16 in Alabama, if wikipedia is correct.

I don't see a "moral" problem either: If the guy is gay, chances are not bad, that there will develop a little love story. If he's not gay, no love story, but you can still listen to some Stockhausen together  So where's the problem?

Oh yes - what will the people say. Do you really want to make the decisions of your life conditional on what the people say?

[mcgillcomposer]

Ok so I got hit on by this guy last night.

He's probably the cutest guy I have ever seen in the past 2 years; if you know who brent corrigan is, he puts him to shame.  He's 6'1" and has a very deep voice.  Oh, and he plays piano and likes Stockhausen.


So I ask him, "How old are you?"


He says "Just turned 16."



*** (btw, i'm 19).



He's legal age, but I dunno it just seems sorta wrong =/  What do you guys think is the lowest age I could be in a relationship with if I'm 19?  The problem is that he's really tall and has a really deep voice and pretty smart, so I thought he was my age or older. ><

Hey my friend...my bf is 16 - do you know how old I am? More importantly, we get along great and have a wonderful relationship.

[maul]

cmg domination style

[wotgoplunk]

Go for it, opinion from a straight guy.

Only a couple of years difference. Half your age age plus 7 or sommat.

[leahcim]

This worry from this particular 19-year-old..? This same 19-year-old... ?" 

This same 19-year-old ...?

This same 19-year-old ....?

Yes, I think we've all sussed who it is...and how old.

But he's 19, can't have that....he should learn how to speak to his elders? Trouble with t'kids t'day is they no t'respect. Aye, I remember when t'all this was t'fields. Didn't have t'gay t'rights in them days. Oh no. Had t'get thereselves a woman and have t'two kids and hide in t'closet. Lads t'day they don't know they're t'born. Closets not t'good enough for 'em. Next thing you know there on the bloody internet where you can't so much as give them a jolly punch in t'face for your trouble.

Parents? I'd hang t'bloody lot.

I'd rather not. 

Oh c'mon, don't end the post, you haven't ranted about someone else completely unrelated yet...

Anymore than I would like to respond to pianistimo for her strange late-night, right-wing rants...

Good-o, glad you changed your mind...

He needs correction and guidance.

Some kind of S&M thing?

[jakev2.0]

Ass sex is weird, but sex with a minor is just plain wrong.

Use your head. (Not that one). 

[jakev2.0]

BTW, I have a sense soliloquy's story is either partially or fully made up.

Partially fabricated: what are the odds of finding a 16 year old who even knows who Stockhausen is?
Fully fabricated: with many dark aged religious morons about, it may be worth a laugh to rile them up with talk of sodomy with an underage boy.

[soliloquy]

BTW, I have a sense soliloquy's story is either partially or fully made up.

Partially fabricated: what are the odds of finding a 16 year old who even knows who Stockhausen is?
Fully fabricated: with many dark aged religious morons about, it may be worth a laugh to rile them up with talk of sodomy with an underage boy.

He's a violin student of one of my friends, who I happened to be hanging out with at the time, and I also happened to be looking at the score to Stockhausen's Klavierstuck Nr. 10 on the computer as he passed by.  He did not say "what the hell is that?" but instead "Is that Stockhausen Klavierstuck number ten?"

And I knew who Stockhausen was when i was probably 12 or 13.

[thalbergmad]

but sex with a minor is just plain wrong.

Indeed, and you get covered in coal dust.

Thal

[mcgillcomposer]

Indeed, and you get covered in coal dust.

Thal

...and young boy fairy dust...

...oh, and I knew of S. when I was 12-13 too...so ya, there are some of us out there!!! (btw, that was not a response to you Thal - it was to that other guy...you know...ya that one)...

[richard black]

Do you really want to make the decisions of your life conditional on what the people say?

Well, I guess most of us would instinctively say 'no' to that but at some point we practically all do, don't we? I can certainly think of ways in which I do and yes, some of them do involve sex, if in a (moderately) roundabout way!

[mcgillcomposer]

Well, I guess most of us would instinctively say 'no' to that but at some point we practically all do, don't we? I can certainly think of ways in which I do and yes, some of them do involve sex, if in a (moderately) roundabout way!

Wise man.

[debussy symbolism]

Greetings

If Soliloquy is so sure that this forum is full of those he deems as "stupid," why does he seek guidance from this same forum on such as sensitive and personal subject? Surely such miserables found here cannot foster an adequate responce.

[soliloquy]

Greetings

If Soliloquy is so sure that this forum is full of those he deems as "stupid," why does he seek guidance from this same forum on such as sensitive and personal subject? Surely such miserables found here cannot foster an adequate responce.

Perhaps I'm simply ignoring the responses from the stupid ones?


Yours, of course, being the exception that proves.

[gymnopedist]

Go for it. What are the odds of finding another Stockhausen-loving, handsome, gay classical musician in Alabama? Who cares if he's sixteen, it won't matter in a few years.

cmg, the thing with soliloquy is, apart from his vicious outbursts and somewhat elitist sentiments, he actually seems like a nice guy. Look at the "analogies" thread, it's practically littered with XD's.

I actually don't know why I'm typing this, you've already left.

[mcgillcomposer]

Go for it. What are the odds of finding another Stockhausen-loving, handsome, gay classical musician in Alabama? Who cares if he's sixteen, it won't matter in a few years.

cmg, the thing with soliloquy is, apart from his vicious outbursts and somewhat elitist sentiments, he actually seems like a nice guy. Look at the "analogies" thread, it's practically littered with XD's.

I actually don't know why I'm typing this, you've already left.

He's also a very intelligent guy - that counts in my books.

[soliloquy]

he actually seems like a nice guy.

He's also a very intelligent guy - that counts in my books.

Awwww <3

[maul]

He's also going to hell - that scores double in my books.

[soliloquy]

He's also going to hell - that scores double in my books.

Dost thou not love thy neighbor?  To Hell with you then   Literally

[ultraviolet]

Ok so I got hit on by this guy last night.

He's probably the cutest guy I have ever seen in the past 2 years; if you know who brent corrigan is, he puts him to shame.  He's 6'1" and has a very deep voice.  Oh, and he plays piano and likes Stockhausen.


So I ask him, "How old are you?"


He says "Just turned 16."



*** (btw, i'm 19).



He's legal age, but I dunno it just seems sorta wrong =/  What do you guys think is the lowest age I could be in a relationship with if I'm 19?  The problem is that he's really tall and has a really deep voice and pretty smart, so I thought he was my age or older. ><

I agree that it seems sorta wrong--because you could be taking advantage of one so young.  Yet you don't want to hurt his feelings by rejecting him.

The only solution is this:  let him do anything he wants to you, but don't do anything to him.

That way, you are neither rejecting him nor taking advantage of him.  Gosh, my logic is flawless!

[mcgillcomposer]

He's also going to hell - that scores double in my books.

Hell - what? You and your fantasy worlds...sheesh

[soliloquy]

Well I will be seeing him tomorrow...


Not a date or anything but I will be going out of my way to "accidentally" run into him, IE being at my friend's place again.  His lesson is on Wednesday.  I think ultraviolet's suggestion is what I'm gonna go with; let him drive the action.  If he wants to continue to pursue me then hey... it's his choice.  I can't be blamed >>  I think =/  arg this is complicated XD



Anyway, I'm gonna *try* to take a picture of him.  I have it all planned out >>  I'm gonna be messing with my teacher friend's camera and be like "arg I can't get this to work" and snap a pic.  You will then all see how irresistibly super-sexified he is, and why not getting involved with him is that much harder.  ARG I feel like a pervert saying a 16 yr old is "sexified"... but he totally looks 20 =/  You'll see

[ultraviolet]

I think ultraviolet's suggestion is what I'm gonna go with; let him drive the action.  If he wants to continue to pursue me then hey... it's his choice.  I can't be blamed >>  I think =/  arg this is complicated XD

When I said let him do anything he wants to you, I meant in bed.  Geesh.  Do I have to spell everything out for you?

[soliloquy]

When I said let him do anything he wants to you, I meant in bed.  Geesh.  Do I have to spell everything out for you?

ahahahah well that's the way i swing anyway so i thought that was implied

[thalberg]

Hmmm......I'm imagining Soliloquy in a room with this person trying frantically to recall what the pianostreet members told him to do.

[thalbergmad]

Hopefully, he will be trying to forget what the pianostreets members told him.

Thal

[ramithediv]

Hopefully, he will be trying to forget what the pianostreets members told him.

Thal

I always try to forget what pianostreets members may have told me. 

[soliloquy]

Hmm he's not as hot as I remembered; still cute, but not the sexbomb i had originally remembered =/  And his mom is with him this time so can't really talk to him x.x  He's back there tuning his violin right now :O

[mike_lang]

Hmm he's not as hot as I remembered; still cute, but not the sexbomb i had originally remembered =/  And his mom is with him this time so can't really talk to him x.x

Ménage à trois?

[leahcim]

Ménage à trois?

With a violin? 

I wouldn't post a surreptitious photo.

[danny elfboy]

Well last time I checked love, attraction, trying to have a relationship were all based on respecting and trusting the person. The fact that you ask us whether it's the right thing to have a relationship with this 16 years old rather than asking him, shows this respect might be lacking. Sounds like 40's when women were considered so subhumans and second class citizens that they couldn't possible consent to having a relationship with black people and black people were considered the predators taking advantage of this subhumans beings, yet the women themselves wanted those relationships.

If you care for him ask this question to him, ask him what he wants and

1) stop considering him a number, he is a person and each persona is unique and we could live perfectly well even if we had no numbers attached to us as people

2) stop considering this "your choice". If it's a relationships that you want then it's about the two of us and every little choice and every little dilemma should be discussed in two.

I don't find nothing predatory in this situation (predatory is a situation where a person is screaming NO while in tears and the other going on nonetheless even violently and aggressively, so please people stop being paranoid and insulting people who really have been victims by suggesting that whatever thing could be an abuse) but for sure I would find the idea of a young person and old person loving each other consensually way less predatory than the idea of the older person being condiscendent with the young person, putting an absolutely derogatory emphasis on his or her age (or skin color ... same concept) while he or she should know better and be the one who sees an individual rather than a number. You don't even need all the justifications about him being tall and having a deep voice, just nonsense and offensive in his regards.

[danny elfboy]

I agree that it seems sorta wrong--because you could be taking advantage of one so young.  Yet you don't want to hurt his feelings by rejecting him.

Everyone could take advantage of everyone and lot of times it's young people taking advantage of older ones. They're just platitudes. Age has nothing to do with how vulnerable or deceptive one is and for the records there are a lot of younger than 18 that are way smarter and more mature than older than 40. There's just a word for this: ageism.
We should consider people individually not make broad judgements based on stereotypes.

[maul]

ol danny boy seems to have a lot of experience with this subject. *hides kids*

[jakev2.0]

There is no assurance that someone of age x>0  is rational; but there is a higher likelihood that someone >18 is likely to be make responsible decisions than someone <18. 

[danny elfboy]

There is no assurance that someone of age x>0  is rational; but there is a higher likelihood that someone >18 is likely to be make responsible decisions than someone <18. 

In my opinion and personal experience no and as a matter of fact the most irrational and immature people are to be found on late adults. A mature adult have mature kids and immature adult have immature kids. It's all a matter of potential and how it nurtured. If you analyze people's life closely you'll see that those who are mature at age X showed maturity many years before as well at age Y while those who showed immaturity at age Y grow and keep showing immature many years after as well at age X. Usually deep, caring, intelligent and insightful people remain so from childhood to senior years and superficial, discriminative, violent, uncaring people remain so. Something may change their behaviors and view of life (you know: the illumination) but it is unrelated to age and more related to knowing people, reading books, moving to another place, making a trip to some exotic late, having a traumatic near-death experience and what not.

The problem with judging people at priopri using criteria as meaningless as age is that you're very likely to make a wrong choice when you need a mature person making an important decision. For my own safety I want the more mature person to make a decision not the older one. If I had a remotecontrol that can destroy the world and I need someone to take care of it I wouldn't choose the person according to some stupid criteria but I will make sure that he or she is not easily distracted, take important things seriously, is brave and have good reflexes and if the right person happens to be a 11 years old girl again older men so be it.
It's wrong and dangerous a priori not to judge people individually and rely on pre-judices.

[thalbergmad]

ol danny boy seems to have a lot of experience with this subject. *hides kids*

I have a feeling that most of his "experience" comes from a textbook.

His posts read like one.

Thal

[leahcim]

Age has nothing to do with how vulnerable or deceptive one is ...... There's just a word for this: ageism.

Is that ageism as in "a pair of big dog's ageisms"?