Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care

[skve]

https://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Frédéric_Chopin's_Guide_to_Better_Lawn_Care
"Chromatic lawns utilize a wide variety of seeds to produce a lush, varied appearance to some tastes, though it may appear mottled and visually dissonant to others. "

 

[soliloquy]

dissonance?

[arensky]

This is perhaps the funniest classical music humour I have ever read or seen.

The image of Chopin on the power mower........ 


"Of course, it's always possible that your climate just isn't conducive to proper grass growth. In those cases, I recommend that you leave the cold winters, harsh critics, repressive political environment, and stuffy, philistine-ridden audiences of your native country behind, and just move to France. I did, and despite my being unfairly lumped in with the Romanticists, I haven't once regretted it!"


"The basic rules of weed control can be summed up as follows:

Do dig down into the soil to pull up as much of the root system as possible when pulling weeds.

Don't spray weeds with herbicides without pulling up the root systems first. Sprays should only be used as a finishing touch, a coda if you will — not as an etude.

Do use simple, reflective chord structures and chromatic progressions to build suspense and melodic tension that will weaken the weed's root systems and lower its resistance to herbicides.

Don't bag grass clippings in the fall - clippings act as mulch, strengthening your grass during the winter months and allowing it to "choke off" weeds with aggressive minor-key tonal dynamics."


ROFLMFAO 


    

[quantum]

Bah.... this should be required learning material for learning how to opperate a music history textbook. 

[arensky]

Bah.... this should be required learning material for learning how to opperate a music history textbook. 

I agree. Although there is no real method for that, never found a textbook I've been completely comfortable with.  I'd rather grow a lawn! 

[lisztisforkids]

This website is awesome. We should build a page about pianostreet.