Why are the English so Rubbish at Sport?

[naughtius-maximus]

England out of the European Cup. 

We invented all the good sports, but cannot achieve at any. 

Why is this???

Football (Soccer to all you Americans), Cricket, Tennis. We are useless. 

[gilad]

Good players. Very good players. But all starts in their own right. Not a team.
Maybe they are arrogant? Maybe they take their positition for granted?
I dont know. The games were invented like over 100 years ago. so we've all had time to catch up. england are good. But they're not amazing. At football that it is. it obvious. they havent won anything for ages.
who know.

[thalbergmad]

Football - we are crap at this as the Premier League has too higher level of Foreign players and the English can't get a game. Also, the English footballers are a bunch of overpaid poofs. The labour party has not helped by selling off acres of school playing fields.

Cricket - We are not too bad at the moment, just lack a decent fast bowler and a bit of backbone.

Tennis - Andy Murray is our sole hope for the future. We have always been crap at tennis and always probably will be. Now that Loser Henman and our resident Canadian have retired, there is not a great deal of talent around. The womens game appears to be run by lesbians and the players have no time for practice.

There is not a great deal at the moment to be proud of in English Sport. The Rugby lads did well to reach the World Final and Paula Radcliffe defied belief in winning the New York Marathon. Apart from that, we can only hope on winning the darts.

Inventing a sport and being good at it does not appear to go hand in hand. I think the absurd money available might cause some apathy amongst some of our sportsman. Perhaps we should shoot all losers like the Columbian FA.

Thal

[ronde_des_sylphes]

Tennis - Andy Murray is our sole hope for the future. We have always been crap at tennis and always probably will be.

Thal

Did you read the topic title? 

[elspeth]

We're not too bad at snooker... hmm, is it me or do we only seem to be reasonable at pub games? Possibly that's the root of the problem, people spend more time in pubs than taking part in 'proper' sport...

Joking aside, sport has been consistently undermined in schools for years unless you happen to be fortunate to go to a school with a heck of a lot of private money behind it so it can afford to maintain its sporting facilities. The same can be said for music and art in schools, too. All are consistently underfunded in terms of equipment and facilities, and have been pushed further and further down the curriculum in favour of extra English and Maths, which is a highly questionable piece of educational logic.

Then of course there's the PC brigade who feel that competitive sport is a bad thing because there have to be losers and it may encourage some people to feel inferior. Now, of course, we have a generation who don't know how to deal with life's knockbacks because they haven't been allowed to get any practice...

[ramithediv]

Did you read the topic title? 

Yes, unfortunately the English have a habit of stealing sports people if they are any good.

[bob3.1415926]

Football - we are crap at this as the Premier League has too higher level of Foreign players and the English can't get a game.

Do you buy this argument? I'm not convinced. I don't think giving them an easy ride to guaranteed places in the top flight will make them better. Make them fight for them. Enough of them play like they don't care anyway.

I definitely agree that they're overpaid nancy-boys though. Tonight was shoddy. When he was given the job I said McClaren made for mediocrity, but I didn't think we'd be downright poor.

By the way, I don't think there's any conclusive evidence to say we invented football or tennis. Most European countries seem to have claims on that.

[thalbergmad]

Did you read the topic title? 

Since his entire education was probably paid for with English taxpayers money, we must be able to lay a claim on part of him. Perhaps just the backhand?

Indeed though it is true that English sport is not excelling at the moment, and as time goes on it will get more and more difficult to tell who is English and who is not.

I do hold out some hope that the latest batch of immigrants could secure us a good place in the World Pick Pocket Championships, which are due to be held in Birmingham next year.

Thal

[ramithediv]

I do hold out some hope that the latest batch of immigrants could secure us a good place in the World Pick Pocket Championships, which are due to be held in Birmingham next year.

Yes, and we should have the whole Polish football team here soon. 

[thalbergmad]

Then of course there's the PC brigade who feel that competitive sport is a bad thing because there have to be losers and it may encourage some people to feel inferior. Now, of course, we have a generation who don't know how to deal with life's knockbacks because they haven't been allowed to get any practice...

Perfectly put and this was probably the most damaging part of the Blair legacy.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

Do you buy this argument? I'm not convinced.

I am not totally convinced myself to be honest.

You can spend millions on importing talent or millions nurturing home talent. Both methods in the past appears to win titles. I don't think the former assists in development of a National side.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

When he was given the job I said McClaren made for mediocrity, but I didn't think we'd be downright poor.

On the positive side, at least this loss will assist in getting rid of this waste of space.

I would love to see Shearer have a go.

Thal

[ronde_des_sylphes]

I do hold out some hope that the latest batch of immigrants could secure us a good place in the World Pick Pocket Championships, which are due to be held in Birmingham next year.

Thal

You already have a truly world-class perfomer in the Losing Official Documents Championships. Perhaps these are connected?

[ramithediv]

You already have a truly world-class perfomer in the Losing Official Documents Championships. Perhaps these are connected?

They are not lost. 

Just misplaced. 

[thalbergmad]

You already have a truly world-class perfomer in the Losing Official Documents Championships. Perhaps these are connected?

Indeed, the English are good at this, but at the moment, i don't think it is clear that the Junior Official who posted these disks was infact English. Our sensitive information and security is normally looked after by illegals with at least 10 criminal convictions.

One can only hope that all child benefit going north of the border is suspended whilst this is being sorted out.

BTW, were not the Scots knocked out of Europe recently?

Luv

Thal

[ronde_des_sylphes]

BTW, were not the Scots knocked out of Europe recently?

Luv

Thal

yeah, but at least we weren't in a p**s easy group. Look on the bright side, though. Your buffoon of a manager has to get the sack now. However, in finding a replacement, try not to go for the likes of randy Swedes who shag both your women and your FA's finances at the same time...

[ramithediv]

try not to go for the likes of randy Swedes who shag both your women

We do have more than 2 women here. 

Perhaps you said that because most scottish women are more like men. 

[ronde_des_sylphes]

We do have more than 2 women here. 

Perhaps you said that because most scottish women are more like men. 

haha, I did actually type both. That's funny. And yeah, Glasgow. Hmm. Where the men are men and the women are too. 

[ramithediv]

And yeah, Glasgow. Hmm. Where the men are men and the women are too. 

lol. Glasgow.

I went to Scotland once. I drove an extra 100 miles to make sure I missed Glasgow by a long way. 

Not a place for the faint hearted.

[ronde_des_sylphes]

When Dolly the sheep was cloned, it was a great day for Aberdonians.

[ramithediv]

When Dolly the sheep was cloned, it was a great day for Aberdonians.

Scottish sport at its best

[ronde_des_sylphes]

You are mistaken. That is a purely local sport.  Wellies are essential, so I am informed.

[ramithediv]

You are mistaken. That is a purely local sport.

I thought it was a Celt tradition. 

Wellies are essential, so I am informed.

You're sure you're not talking from experience 

[ronde_des_sylphes]

You're sure you're not talking from experience 

One of my friends was worringly enthusiastic in his description. I'm pretty certain all my female encounters have been of the two-legged variety. I suppose some were legless at the time, but not in a Heather Mills sort of way..

Returning to the original topic, a classic quote/heckle from another friend of mine whilst in a bar full of Englishmen (in Edinburgh): "COME ON ROONEY! USE YOUR LOOKS!"

[bob3.1415926]

"COME ON ROONEY! USE YOUR LOOKS!"

Brilliant. You've gotta love his fine features and fair temperament. 

McClaren got what was coming. (Should've happened the second he dropped Carragher if you ask me)

But a £2m pay off?!?! That's disgusting. Mystic Meg could have done a better job. (She probably saw this coming...) Why such a reward for sheer incompetence? Makes me angry.

[gilad]

McClarren while i like the guy, never stood any chance of ever being successful as england coach.

At middleborough they had a real bad league campaign and somehow due to a fancy cup run he gets the position. Boros league position and struggle should have been enough to jusdge where McCalren was taking the team. Should rather have gone for Alan Curbs or better yet, a foreign coach. Maybe Jose the special arogant one will get the position. Then youll see england win.

[thalbergmad]

I went to Scotland once. I drove an extra 100 miles to make sure I missed Glasgow by a long way. 

I admit that i do go to Glasgow every year.

I like to visit my hubcaps.

Thal

[naughtius-maximus]

I admit that i do go to Glasgow every year.

I like to visit my hubcaps.

Yet another Scottish national sport, "Hub-cap throwing".

[mephisto]

Englands football-team is very good, you have just not been performing good recently. For instance no one would be shocked no matter who England would have beaten.

[zheer]

  The english are very good at sports.

[prometheus]

The English team isn't very good. They have too many of the same types of players. It's all kick and rush. They don't have truly skilled refined creative players.

And they need to limit the number of foreign players in their league.

[thalbergmad]

  The english are very good at sports.

I must get my glasses fixed. For a moment i thought you said the English were good at sports

Problem is that a lot of other Countries are better

Even lost the Darts last week to a bloody Scot.

Thal

[zheer]

I must get my glasses fixed. For a moment i thought you said the English were good at sports

  O yeah,sorryi was thinking Brits not just english.Infact was thinking england generally,so compared to a lot of other country they are very good.

[bob3.1415926]

O yeah,sorryi was thinking Brits not just english.Infact was thinking england generally,so compared to a lot of other country they are very good.

I agree. We're all round better than Andorra, Lichenstein, Vatican City, Luxembourg, and most pacific islands. Yeah! 

[thalbergmad]

I think the current English team would probably lose to Vatican City.

I can just imagine the Pope in goal. Not much gets past him.

Thal

[mephisto]

The English team isn't very good. They have too many of the same types of players. It's all kick and rush. They don't have truly skilled refined creative players.

They have that in people like Gerrard.

[pianochick93]

  The english are very good at sports.

And that's why Australia owns them at cricket!

[prometheus]

They have that in people like Gerrard.

Gerrard is exactly the example of that archtime English player if you ask me. Maybe you are confused with Lampard?

[thalbergmad]

And that's why Australia owns them at cricket!

And we own them at rugby.

[pianochick93]

But the Kiwis own everyone at rugby (I think) and they are right next to us...

[thalbergmad]

But the Kiwis own everyone at rugby (I think) and they are right next to us...

You might not have been following the News for the last 5 years.

Thal

[mephisto]

Gerrard is exactly the example of that archtime English player if you ask me. Maybe you are confused with Lampard?

I am not confusing, but you mention Lampard, who's great too.

[pianochick93]

You might not have been following the News for the last 5 years.

Thal

Most likely not, 5 years ago I was too young to have any inerest in news.

I take back that comment I made earlier then...I was wrong.

[thalbergmad]

I take back that comment I made earlier then...I was wrong.

This is a quality to be admired and rarely seen on this forum.

Others would argue for 300 pages.

Thal

[ahinton]

This is a quality to be admired and rarely seen on this forum.

Others would argue for 300 pages.

Thal

Would they indeed?! For what cause would you argue, then, Thal, "old chap"?

Best,

Alistair

[naughtius-maximus]

Ok, we've worked out that england are good at rugby, darts and tiddlywinks.

we should be best at everything. we're english remember. (ahinton, you can be english too, if you want to lose the stigma of your origins).

he, he.

[ahinton]

(ahinton, you can be english too, if you want to lose the stigma of your origins).

It seems eminently appropriate that you encased this "sentiment" in brackets; that said, do please tell us all what might have given you the ideas that (a) I would want to "lose" anything about my origins and (b) that there is anything remotely resembling a "stigma" attached thereto...

Best,

Alistair

[naughtius-maximus]

It seems eminently appropriate that you encased this "sentiment" in brackets; that said, do please tell us all what might have given you the ideas that (a) I would want to "lose" anything about my origins and (b) that there is anything remotely resembling a "stigma" attached thereto...

Best,

Alistair

Sorry, i thought i read somewhere that you were scottish.

[ahinton]

Sorry, i thought i read somewhere that you were scottish.

"Were" suggests something in the past, but never mind that; your point is...?

Best,

Alistair

[naughtius-maximus]

"Were" suggests something in the past, but never mind that; your point is...?

Best,

Alistair

If I were a Scot, i'd wish to be an Englishman.