X girl friend or x Boy friend.

[zheer]

 Is it always a bad idea to be friends with an X, or even re-creat/re-start past romance.
Share your views and story please.

[jlh]

Is it always a bad idea to be friends with an X, or even re-creat/re-start past romance.
Share your views and story please.

I would hesitate to use the term 'always' in any type of situation.  My experience is that it is difficult, especially for relationahips that ended badly, to remain friends and even more difficult to maintain such a relationship once it has ended.  Again, every situation is different, so don't take this to mean that such a friendship or re-kindling cannot happen.

[dnephi]

I would say that typically, it'd be painful to try to recreate a past romance, but doable to continue a relationship.

That being said, I've never had a girlfriend or similar relationship .

Daniel

[elspeth]

It's not really something you can generalise about... my x-bf and I are really good friends. Our break-up was entirely amicable with no bitterness on either side, and there's nothing between us that either of us look back on in anger or hurt or disappointment. That said, neither of us anticipate anything romantic re-developing. Not unless there's a dramatic change in circumstances, anyway!

I think it can be awkward sometimes though - I think his new gf needed a bit of reassurance that I'm not a threat to her, I'm just a close friend of his. I hardly know her, and I think she prefers to keep it that way, which is fine by me as long as she doesn't start putting pressure on him not to be friends with me. I should hate to be the cause of rows between them.

[thalbergmad]

In my experience, it is best just to have a clean split and move on. Women get tiresome after a while and need to be changed on a regular basis.

Girls are a bit like a game of chess. You start off with early nights and end up with stale mates.

Chuck em when the time is right and find suitable replacements.

DON'T LOOK BACK

Thal

Director/Curator

Marriage Guidance Council

[jlh]

In my experience, it is best just to have a clean split and move on. Women get tiresome after a while and need to be changed on a regular basis.

Girls are a bit like a game of chess. You start off with early nights and end up with stale mates.

Chuck em when the time is right and find suitable replacements.

DON'T LOOK BACK

Thal

Director/Curator

Marriage Guidance Council

Pure gold!  Are you available for hire?

[thalbergmad]

I give my advice freely.

Thal

[ahinton]

I give my advice freely.

Thal

Ah - just like Busoni, who would not suffer fools at all, never mind gladly, but who, when he was prepared to take on a student, would not charge that student anything as a matter of principle - hence the rather delightful myth that people did not study with Busoni because they could not afford his fees (i.e. nothing).

Why does your Marriage Guidance Council require a curator? Does it have massive archives of files on unsuccessful clients? I hope that it doesn't have 25 million clients, otherwise data on them all might now be in another place - anent which it has now, incidentally, been suggested that the missing discs containing data on all British families on child benefit that were supposedly sent by HMRC (the British tax authorities) to NAO (the National Audit Office) were instead mistakenly mailed to NMC (the record label devoted to British music of the past 100 years or so) and that it will soon be released under the title A Child Benefit of our Time...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

You are going off topic hinty

[ahinton]

You are going off topic hinty

Only in the very last bit of what I wrote. Firstly, I addressed and commented on your generous-spirited willingness to give your advice freely by citing an example of a major figure in music of immense importance to anyone interested in the piano who habitually did the same. Secondly, I asked a question about the particular "Marriage Guidance Council" of which you wrote and of which, from the way in which you wrote of it, you appear to be in charge. Only latterly did I digress into the missing CDs containing data of half the families in Britain.

Best,

Alistair

[pianochick93]

Pure gold!  Are you available for hire?

haha, taken out of context that could be a bit odd...

[jlh]

haha, taken out of context that could be a bit odd...

Good thing it's not out of context... 

[zheer]

In my experience, it is best just to have a clean split and move on.

Sure,as you know people cross path many years later and any hard/bad feeling are usually forgoten.People are like that,we do forget. I ask cuz by chance very recently i crosed path with an x, eehhh long time ago .As always it involved me being seduced by a lady then left bleeding in street corner asking god for murcy (no joke). Anyway cut long story everything is fine usual chit chat,just like the bad old days.So do you think to avoid a repeat prescription one should run for their lives?

[rc]

People CAN change.

If you've learned from last time and can recognize the warning signs then there's nothing to stop you from cut-and-run if things start getting bad again.

[thalberg]

This Thal agrees with the other Thal......

When a romantic relationship ends, it should just end, period.

[ahinton]

This Thal agrees with the other Thal......

And there I was thinking that The Two Ronnies had no rival...

Best,

Alistair

[bob3.1415926]

I think going back is a mistake. The reasons you split up in the first place may lie low for a while, but they're come back and bite eventually. Also if you've been dumped, and you immediately want to 'stay as friends' this is probably because you're thinking you might get back together. You won't. You'll just have to watch them meet someone else. I did that the first time I was dumped. It was awful, really dragged things out. The next time I was a lot smarter, and it was a lot less painful.
My advice: Keep a healthy distance.

[jlh]

I think going back is a mistake. The reasons you split up in the first place may lie low for a while, but they're come back and bite eventually. Also if you've been dumped, and you immediately want to 'stay as friends' this is probably because you're thinking you might get back together. You won't. You'll just have to watch them meet someone else. I did that the first time I was dumped. It was awful, really dragged things out. The next time I was a lot smarter, and it was a lot less painful.
My advice: Keep a healthy distance.

Good advice... that actually happened to me once.  I hadn't heard from one of my ex's for a couple months but we were still 'friends' and she calls me up and wants me to go to her birthday party 3 days later.  She said she's 'got a new man'.  She wanted to have me at a party where I can watch her get felt up by her 'new man'?  No thank you!  I didn't go...

Better to keep distance matey. 

Find a new woman that can't bring up the past and start fresh.

[zheer]

.  I hadn't heard from one of my ex's for a couple months but we were still 'friends' and she calls me up and wants me to go to her birthday party 3 days later. 

  ROFL, a couple of months you wimp (just kidding). No am talking years,like 10 years omego.
I know she is single,i also know she is a major playea.The thing is i no-loger find her attractive nor am i under her spell.
  jih i found your story very intresting,i really can't imagin how horrible that x you described sounds," come watch me with my new man" sheesh she needs her head examined.

[jlh]

  ROFL, a couple of months you wimp (just kidding). No am talking years,like 10 years omego.
I know she is single,i also know she is a major playea.The thing is i no-loger find her attractive nor am i under her spell.
  jih i found your story very intresting,i really can't imagin how horrible that x you described sounds," come watch me with my new man" sheesh she needs her head examined.

haha no we were friends and still talking but i hadn't heard from her in actually like 4 months (guess she really liked her 'new man').  Yes she does need her head examined, and for more reasons than that.

[thalbergmad]

And there I was thinking that The Two Ronnies had no rival...

The two Hintons would be a good act.

Its goodnight from me and its goodnight (should he/she desire to say so) from (being his/her perogitive whilst being under no pressure to do so per se) him.

Thal

[ahinton]

The two Hintons would be a good act.

If you say so - but there's just one small problem; there's only one of me whereas there are two Thals.

Actually, no - two small problems - the other being that "perogitive" ain't ow you spel "pejorative"...

Anyway, it's goodnight from me (and, as I said, there's no him) - and, recalling as I now do that well known sketch with The Two Ronnies and John Cleese but thinking of it in a new version without John Cleese and with the Two Thals taking the place of The Two Ronnies, Thalbergmad says "I look up to him, because he is a tall man" and Thalberg says "and I look all the way round him, because I've got the time"...

Anyway, this is a piano forum, so wouldn't at least some people here presume The Two Ronnies to be Mr Stevenson and the late lamented Mr Smith?...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

Me is officially single again.

Thal

[ahinton]

Me is officially single again.

May - or perhaps dare - one ask you what the difference might be between "officially" and "unofficially" in this particular context?

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

I have been dumped.

Thal

[ramithediv]

I have been dumped.

Thal

There's plenty more whales in the sea Thal. lol

[thalbergmad]

She had enough blubber to keep an entire community of Eskimos alive for a year.

Not that i am bitter or anything. I don't belive in that.

Fat cow.

Thal

[ahinton]

I have been dumped.

Thal

Mon Dieu! - what has that done for the international water table?...

Seriously, though, Thal - you're so rude about your women so often that I do wonder what's going on there (not that it's any of my business, of course), but I do nevertheless hope that something really good works out for you eventually in that department...

Best,

Alistair

[ramithediv]

Seriously, though, Thal - you're so rude about your women so often

Yes Thal, you should not be calling your woman "Fat Cow" and the such like while you're still going out with them. They do not like it. 

[jlh]

Yes Thal, you should not be calling your woman "Fat Cow" and the such like while you're still going out with them. They do not like it. 

I think you misunderstood... he got dumped by the woman, and apparently she was fat, ergo she is a fat cow.

[ramithediv]

I think you misunderstood... he got dumped by the woman, and apparently she was fat, ergo she is a fat cow.

I do understand.

Perhaps you have not seen some of Thal's posts on other threads regarding women that he was with at the time of posting. 

[thalbergmad]

I am glad she dumped me, the sex was awful.

I have got 3 lightbulb burns on me arse.

Thal

[zheer]

I am glad she dumped me, the sex was awful.

 Can i ask what her exact words were?.

[thalbergmad]

This relationship is going nowhere and you are an insensitive pig.

Something like that.

Thal

[zheer]

This relationship is going nowhere and you are an insensitive pig.

Something like that.

Thal

   You insensative ,never.

    Well its a dam sight better than the good old, "LETS BE FRIENDS".

[ramithediv]

This relationship is going nowhere and you are an insensitive pig.

Ah! That old chestnut.  

We've all had that one.  

She'd already found another insensitive pig.  

[zheer]

Ah! That old chestnut.  

   Really,is that a common one.

[thalbergmad]

  "LETS BE FRIENDS".

Anythings better than that old chap.

Thal

[ahinton]

I am glad she dumped me, the sex was awful.

Then, irrespective of whether or not that was the guiding consideration for either of you, why didn't you dump her first? Is there something else tht you've not told us?

I have got 3 lightbulb burns on me arse.

In which case one might observe that the sex was - er - um - "interesting" (albeit only in the sense that people sometimes use that term as a back-handed pejorative) - but were they low-energy lightbulbs?...

Best,

Alistair

[zheer]

Anythings better than that old chap.

Thal

  Am sure women do like you thalb the first few weeks, but i gess you sort of get lazy
and start farting,burping ,picking your nose,basically lose your intrest very quickly.Am i wright.

[ramithediv]

   Really,is that a common one.

Along those lines. yes.

Water of a ducks back, is it not, Thal?

[thalbergmad]

  Am sure women do like you thalb the first few weeks, but i gess you sort of get lazy
and start farting,burping ,picking your nose,basically lose your intrest very quickly.Am i wright.

100% correct. It seems you have known me all my life.

I can only maintain being a gentleman for short periods of time before the real me is exposed.

Your comment is so accurate as to be massively amusing.

I pride myself on the quality and strength of my farts and regularly come out with a 20 second beauty. She was not impressed by this, which is her fault, not mine.

Thal

[ramithediv]

I can only maintain being a gentleman for short periods of time before the real me is exposed.

was she disappointed??

[thalbergmad]

She thought i was something that i was not i guess.

I cannot be bothered with all this flowers and chocolate crap and always insist my girlfriends pay half towards all expenses.

Women have been fightiing for equality for years. I suggest we all give them that.

Thal

[ahinton]

I pride myself on the quality and strength of my farts and regularly come out with a 20 second beauty. She was not impressed by this, which is her fault, not mine.

Maybe if what it ws that you had "regularly come out with" in 20-second-long bursts of such "quality and strength" had been something quite other than mere farts, "she" might have been considerably more impressed...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

Anythings better than that old chap.

Thal

Anything's better than what old chap?

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

Maybe if what it ws that you had "regularly come out with" in 20-second-long bursts of such "quality and strength" had been something quite other than mere farts, "she" might have been considerably more impressed...

Perhaps i should have tried a 20 second burst of the Finnissy English Country Tunes.

That would have got her lard arse out of my life even quicker.

Thal

[jlh]

I am glad she dumped me, the sex was awful.

I have got 3 lightbulb burns on me arse.

Thal

I believe this is the first documented case where the sex is BOTH awful and hot... 

[ahinton]

Perhaps i should have tried a 20 second burst of the Finnissy English Country Tunes.

Nice to see that, at long last, you at least do Mr Finnissy the honour of spelling his name correctly. But how would you have "tried" such a burst? On your banjo?

That would have got her lard arse out of my life even quicker.

Why do you suppose it is that all the women who experience the arguably dubious fortune of passing through your life are so preternaturally objectionable that they prompt comments such as this far from atypical one?

People talk a lot about the numbers of immigrants entering Britain yet, as I have observed before, rather less is said about the British people leaving the country; far less still is ever revealed about the numbers of women moving out of Gravesend...

Best,

Alistair

[pianolearner]

Is it always a bad idea to be friends with an X, or even re-creat/re-start past romance.
Share your views and story please.

I think you should keep having sex with them and just pretend to be their friend.