My first piano recital has gone horribly wrong

[dora96]

G'day

I am feeling depressed and want to talk about my recital experience. We had our annual recital performance at my teacher studio. At first, I am confident and well prepard. I was performing Chopin Nocturne op9 No1, and Beethoven op13 Pathetique sonata. The Chopin Nocturne is not too bad, however, I made few mistakes. The trouble I had my fingers was too shaking, but my teacher's grand piano Kawai, the key seemed too slippy. The sound of the piano at her small studio is very lound, I couldn't make the pp or ppp soft enough. After I finished, it's the pathetique"s  turn my teacher said " do I want to play with the book, I said yes, I could not trust my memory.  I went on to play the pathetique, at the first is ok, and then I made few mistakes, I panic and I was lost, I wanted to play not looking at the book, I'm so used to practice with memorization,  but I was trying to follow the book, It really become so pathetic, tempo was getting so faster and faster and I couldn't control the speed. It was out of time and mistakes after mistakes. All the nerves behind and in strange piano. I found that so frustated, I had worked so hard for it. I play in public all the time before at church, friend's house, but once I have professional musicians at looking at me, I just go to piece, very very pathetic !! Please anyone can help to overcome. It is so ridiculous, I only played in front of 10 people in very relax, causal environment. Why so pathetic

[pianogeek_cz]

Heh, I suppose we all have to have one of -these- days...
I am sorry to hear about it. But, rest assured that something like has to happen, sooner or later. Nerves are one of the biggest artistic issues (just count the threads started about them!), there's no way to run from it. Only get used to it and/or overdrive it. That's the gist of the thing...

There are some excellent insights into the topic flying around here, I don't have the links right now but a brief search should churn the threads out. There's also a genuinely awesome post by Arensky about the nervosity demon somewhere...

[rc]

heheh, my first time playing in front of a group of musicians I slopped through one piece - memory completely shut down on me a few times, then I left and completely forgot about playing my second piece

Or how 'bout this: I played for a wedding for the first time a while ago, but didn't attend the rehearsal - I got a quick rundown about 5 mins before the ceremony started.  I played easy arrangements, but my attention was divided between playing and watching what was happening in the ceremony.  I started playing the bridal chorus then realized it was the maid of honour who just walked in, not the bride - then I lost my place and my hands became shaking icicles   The whole thing fell apart, but at least I managed to recover by the time the bride arrived and made a graceful ending

I imagine a heart attack feels similar to that.

Don't be depressed dora, ya gotta be able to laugh about these things

[viking]

I'm sure you could ask any professional pianist about their performances when they were young, and surely most of them have had similar experiences.  I used to get really nervous before I played.  Coupled with the fact that I have always picked demanding repertoire for myself, the result was some pretty ugly moments at times.  Then I developed a philosophy that was sortof like "screw the audience" and "I assume that I will play wrong notes".  Ever since then, I have assumed that I will play wrong notes, and my nerves have completely gone away.  Of course I don't have quite the same views now.  Anyway, I'm sure if you search through the many threads on this forum that have to do with nervousness, you'll get tons of information.  For me, it's really about concentrating exclusively on the music, and forgetting about the audience, and previous mistakes.  Good luck in the future.

Sam

[dan101]

It can happen! You're only human and a developing pianist. Chalk it up to a learning experience and start focusing on relaxation techniques for the stage. Best of luck and don't get discouraged.

[invictious]

Happens to me all the time, when I do my cello recitals.

Oh joy, thank god for my tuxedo and professional look, otherwise it would have been obvious.

[chopin_89]

Glad to hear it also happens to other people 
The very first time I performed in public was for church. For the first couple minutes I was encouraged how smoothly everything was going. Anyways, then the minister started praying. I tried to quietly flip through my book, but as luck would have it, it slipped out of my hands and fell flat across the keys. After that happened I swore I'd never play in public again. Anyways, I did go on to do recitals, competitions, etc. and although I definately did have some more awkward moments (e.g. memory lapses, forgetting to introduce my pieces, etc) I've found I've learned almost more from those bad moments then from picture perfect performances. You can't learn to pick yourself up without falling a couple of times first.

[nyonyo]

In my first competition, my fingers did not shake, but the rest of my body were. It was so difficult to control. The more and more you play in front of people, you will not be tense. Playing for church is a very good way to reduce this problem.

[dmc]

heheh, my first time playing in front of a group of musicians I slopped through one piece - memory completely shut down on me a few times, then I left and completely forgot about playing my second piece

That has to be on of the funniest stories of nerves (forgetting to play the second piece) I've ever heard.  BTW, I'm laughing with you - Not at you.   

Dora, don't worry.  I'm sure you did much better than you think.  We've all had those days.  They happen.  Keep in mind that while some musicians in an audience can indeed be tough critics.  The truly experienced ones know exactly what it is you're feeling and empathize with you.  Also, those pieces you played are very tough to make performance-ready.  I remember trying to play the Pathetique for a group of fellow students back during my Conservatory days and I messed it up royally.  While I know it feels discouraging now, I'm sure your teacher wouldn't have allowed you to be up there if she didn't think you could pull it off.   Use this as a learning experience to improve.   Everything happens for a reason.  You might not know what it is now but you'll be better for it later.  Hang in there !   

[s1d1f1]

oh that is perfectly normal.it happens to every normal musician that cares for music and instrument.It happened to me,on my FINAL exame,when teachers expect to put the so called ,,strawbery on icekream''for your hard-pain work during years,months,I didn't left hand played second row,and right hand third,It was a scene from hell from every musician,try to do some exerises for relaxing,and be with someone before your recital if that would distract you a bit.It helped me,but remember you will always have some butterflies in stomack,and hands- pure water,but that is all just a big part of our lifes.

[lostinidlewonder]

I don't know one single concert pianist who hasn't stuffed up on stage. Everyone makes mistakes. The thing is you have to learn to conquer the fear of making them. If you fear it it has power over you and will ALWAYS effect you when you play on stage.

Don't worry, people are not going to remember you for bad performances only good. I've attended many piano concerts where people have mucked up, I don't remember them, but I remember all those who wowed me. I don't go home thinking for a second, let alone for weeks and months, oh remember that guy/girl they made that mistake how embarrassing how stupid are they, they can't play, they should give up, they are useless.. Although this goes through the performers head, it certainly doesn't go through the heads of listeners (unless they are obnoxious people with no life and in that case you shouldn't care)

Always demand to play on a strange piano before a public performance. When I have to do a public recital I always have at least 2 hours with the instrument beforehand. So I get to know the ins and outs of it. Even then you might not be completely satisfied with the instrument or the size of the room you are playing in, you have to deal with it the best you can, that is the challenge of performance as well.

Just don't do what I did when i was a teen. I stopped in the Appassionata 3rd movement and couldn't recover, and in a place I never made a mistake before. I just shouted out FOR F@#*# Sake! And in another concert I stopped in a Chopin Etude and shouted out Sh*T. The things you do when your young Nowadays if I make a mistake I play over it, hardly any one notices, just don't stop, never stop, or swear, people notice that

[dora96]

G'day

thank you so much, I think everyone is a hero on this forum. I am truly blessed, when I read your stories I cry and I laugh. you guy is truly a hero and fighter that is why how good this formu is, real people real life no bull, real experience, money can't buy, you can't put a value on it .  I feel I am re-born again thank you and keep talking to me

[invictious]

Just don't do what I did when i was a teen. I stopped in the Appassionata 3rd movement and couldn't recover, and in a place I never made a mistake before. I just shouted out FOR F@#*# Sake! And in another concert I stopped in a Chopin Etude and shouted out Sh*T. The things you do when your young Nowadays if I make a mistake I play over it, hardly any one notices, just don't stop, never stop, or swear, people notice that

Wow, you beat me when I shouted 'SON OF A BI*CH' really loudly when I was playing Bach's Unaccompanied Suite for Cello No.1 in G major, halfway through the Courante.
I did not bother finishing the suite. I just picked it up, and made up a ending and walked off stage.
It was intermission, then I continued with my favorite piece of all time, Piazzolla's Le Grand Tango for Cello and Piano, and that one, I have never performed that piece any better.

[term]

with 2 months of piano experience i was forced to play on a wedding in front of 500 people. I played the bach prelude in C, together with a keyboardist playing the schumann (was it him?) ave maria on it.
lol  It totally sucked, after like 10 bars i forgot the rest and directly jumped to the f maj arpeggio near the end. The other guy was totally confused and didn't know where i was, he just improvised something on fmaj and gmaj and i was finished after not even one minute. The whole thing sounded like crap, imagine you're sitting there, two "musicians" are introduced (took like one or two minutes), play there half a minute, confuse everything in a simple piece of music and then walk off stage. Like was that a sketch or was it supposed to be music?  well i can laugh now but that moment i just wanted to die-.- especially because the prelude was so easy and i thought it was no problem.

[dmc]

Just don't do what I did when i was a teen. I stopped in the Appassionata 3rd movement and couldn't recover, and in a place I never made a mistake before. I just shouted out FOR F@#*# Sake! And in another concert I stopped in a Chopin Etude and shouted out Sh*T. The things you do when your young  Nowadays if I make a mistake I play over it, hardly any one notices, just don't stop, never stop, or swear, people notice that

Wow, you beat me when I shouted 'SON OF A BI*CH' really loudly when I was playing Bach's Unaccompanied Suite for Cello No.1 in G major, halfway through the Courante.

Wow !  You guys sound like Rock musicans instead of classical pianists...

[invictious]

Wow !  You guys sound like Rock musicans instead of classical pianists...

Except there is no cello-smashing

[pianochick93]

I should hope not!
*mock horror*

The same thing happens to me when I do an end of term music assessment. My fingers get all slippery and I shake a little. The best thing that I do is to forget that people are listening, but not to the point that i stop and swear at my mistakes and then just try to lose myself in the music and let the sound wash over me, it is very calming.