G'day
I am feeling depressed and want to talk about my recital experience. We had our annual recital performance at my teacher studio. At first, I am confident and well prepard. I was performing Chopin Nocturne op9 No1, and Beethoven op13 Pathetique sonata. The Chopin Nocturne is not too bad, however, I made few mistakes. The trouble I had my fingers was too shaking, but my teacher's grand piano Kawai, the key seemed too slippy. The sound of the piano at her small studio is very lound, I couldn't make the pp or ppp soft enough. After I finished, it's the pathetique"s turn my teacher said " do I want to play with the book, I said yes, I could not trust my memory. I went on to play the pathetique, at the first is ok, and then I made few mistakes, I panic and I was lost, I wanted to play not looking at the book, I'm so used to practice with memorization, but I was trying to follow the book, It really become so pathetic, tempo was getting so faster and faster and I couldn't control the speed. It was out of time and mistakes after mistakes. All the nerves behind and in strange piano. I found that so frustated, I had worked so hard for it. I play in public all the time before at church, friend's house, but once I have professional musicians at looking at me, I just go to piece, very very pathetic !! Please anyone can help to overcome. It is so ridiculous, I only played in front of 10 people in very relax, causal environment. Why so pathetic