You have encapsulated yourself.
Now corrected; thanks.
What is a critis?
"Critis? What critis?", as the late Jim Callaghan famously once said. "Critics", I daresay but, since I cannot immediately find the reference concerned and haven't time to look, I'll simply have to leave you with that best guess.
I did not know about the previous live recordings.
You surely knew that they existed? Madge's two were taken from live public performances whereas Ogdon's was recorded in a London church.
The Telegraph and News at 10 appear to mave missed out on that snippet of News, but i think i remember Blair mentioning it a while back.
The Daily Telegraph certainly covered the Ogdon QEH performance and I'm pretty sure that it included a review of his recording as well; I can't speak for
News at at 10 and would go to considerable lengths to avoid all mention of the person that you name.
Anyway, I think i can get the Albert Hall for about 50k,
Yes, they'd probably sell it to you for around that amount in today's depressed property market.
Here is a breakdown of my expenditure.
1. $200,000 lease of Ian Woosnem's Learjet
2. $100,000 hire of Lady Peneolope's Rolls Royce
3. $50,000 hire of Albert Hall
4. $100,000 for giant LCD screen and licence from the GLC
5. $100,000 beard clippers for ahinton and his entourage.
6. $100,000 diamond encrusted Bechstein
7. $50,000 sleeping bags for those that cannot stay awake
8. $100,000 Powells fee including tips for the the sound crew
9. $50,000 after concert party at Pizza Express.
10. $50,000 Secuity team to keep out the gatecrashers
11. $50,000 Printing and advertising
12. $50,000 Valium and ear plugs
12. 85 cents page turning fee.
Total $1,000,000.85
Bollox, i have overspent.
Ah - that's so easily done! Never mind, Thal - let's see if we can make economies in and amendments to your business plan.
1. $200,000 lease of Ian Woosnem's LearjetIt's Woosnam, actually - and if you're thinking of having Jonathan transported in that, he'll doubtless tell you that if a standard class train carriage was good enough for his Purcell Room performance it'll suffice for this one, too.
2. $100,000 hire of Lady Peneolope's Rolls RoyceWhy on earth would you need a Learjet AND a Rolls Royce? Anyway, if you must insist on the latter, wouldn't you be better off hiring what was once Lord Berners' one, which had the advantage of a clavichord in the back so that Jonathan could practice bits of Clavi on the way to the hall? I bet that this would cost far less.
3. $50,000 hire of Albert HallHave you checked that this amount is correct?
4. $100,000 for giant LCD screen and licence from the GLCSchmooze with Red Ken for abit and I'm sure that you'll get the latter for much less.
5. $100,000 beard clippers for ahinton and his entourage.I'm sure that those among the said entourage that use such things will already have their own.
6. $100,000 diamond encrusted BechsteinForget the diamonds. Forget the Bechstein, too. Get a Bösendorfer. I know that this will cost more, but we're making so many other economies that this will hardly notice.
7. $50,000 sleeping bags for those that cannot stay awakeGiven Jonathan's gift for eliciting audience concentration, you can dispense with these, too.
8. $100,000 Powells fee including tips for the the sound crewNo arguments with that! (apart from the need for an apostrophe in "Powell's")...
9. $50,000 after concert party at Pizza Express.This budget can be neatly trimmed by drastically reducing the number of invitations.
10. $50,000 Secuity team to keep out the gatecrashersWhat's "secuity"? And don't you have a few friends that could provide this service for the cost of a few beers apiece?
11. $50,000 Printing and advertisingI'm sure you could get that for far less, too.
12. $50,000 Valium and ear plugsThe latter won't be necessary; nor will the former, actually, but I daresay you could persuade Hofmann la Roche to provide some gratis in return for abit of advertising - it's a shame that you'd be too late to invite Paul Sacher himself...
12. 85 cents page turning fee.I thought that you'd be providing this service yourself, so I'm sure that this exorbitant amount could be negotiated downwards.
Anyway, in case anyone wondered, this admittedly mildly amusing piece comes a day and abit too early...
Best,
Alistair