Thoughts on anger...

[Bob]

I'm thinking it's some kind of determination, not necessarily bad.

Except angery people aren't fun for others to be around.

But the focus, that's good.

It makes things pretty black and white, related to your goals.

And possibly cools off into plain determination later.  More motivation.  More goal-oriented-ness-ness.



ness. 

[shortyshort]

I think a little anger is good, if it is properly controlled.

[Bob]

But with the narrow focus then, how do you stay sociable for people in the real world? 

[shortyshort]

Most people would say that I do not. lol. 

[Bob]

Hmmm....

How do you transform anger into... plain determination? 

[Essyne]

An intense workout, hot tears, then play the piano (singing along  , leaving all of your inhibitions behind you) and eat a smidgen of chocolate.

Then take a hot shower, eat some popcorn, sleep it off, wake refreshed and START WORKING to change w/e you are angry about.

[Essyne]

^ Wow, you can really tell I haven't eaten anything all day - lol.

Seriously, I gave this thread a lot of thought when I was out w/ the horses this evening. Here's what I came up with:

Turning anger into determination while still remaining "sociable." Wow. That's really quite difficult. I think that one must first KNOW one's anger (not merely feel it) before one can convert all of one's negative energy into positive determination.

I always go into a little shell. Stay there for a while. Get to KNOW my emotions - and not focus on what others are doing to "create" these emotions. Because, at the end of the day, they are, in fact, still MY emotions, and I still have to deal w/ their repercussions.

Anger is a beautiful emotion. It is powerful, uncontrollable - everything that some little part of us longs to be. I don't think it's any "worse" than joy or any other emotion. So, when I'm angry, I don't repress it. I enjoy this unbridled part of myself - I experience my impassioned spirits wholeheartedly.

Then, AND ONLY THEN, can I begin to release the anger. After I’ve felt it, gotten to KNOW it, relished in it and all of its fascinating beauty – I relieve the little pressure valves w/in my being. After I am finished w/ my anger, I release it – recklessly abandon myself and my emotions - cleansing and rejuvenating the spirit. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. That’s where the exercise, the music, and yes, the tiny square of rich dark chocolate ( ), comes into play.

Finally, I come back to the situation with a clean, fresh slate. I examine the little details that really “angered” me (which is often where journaling can come into play – You won’t necessarily remember each individual little detail that bothered you after you “release” the anger - but the major, substantial points will still be there) and come up w/ sane, rational decision to fix the perceived problem.

*         *         *         *

It’s a bit of a process, and a bit of a time "eater-upper" - lol, sorry, honestly can't think of ANY similes for that atm . . . . Also, it’s not really good to do if others are around you/live in close vicinity. Drives my parents to madness. Lol – just another reason I have no desire to get married – I could never do something like that to some poor, unsuspecting man  .

[Bob]

Maybe just isolate myself.  Knock the heck out of the work.

Then make a point to do something social and swtich gears.  Because I don't, then I'll be in "determined/anger mode" on and on and engrain that.  That's not the mode to be in when working with people.

[ramseytheii]

The last word on anger:

"You have heard that it was said to the men of old, 'You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.'  But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be liable to the hell of fire."

Matthew 5:21-22

Walter Ramsey

[Bob]

I guess I'll be liable then.  Liable, but productive. 

Bob say... alla Confusicious... Fools who eat too much hot sauce suffer fate of the ring of fire.  Those who continue down this path have revenge sought upon them.  (That means go easy on the salsa.)



I suppose I'm wondering next...
How to make myself angry?  Angry enough to make some changes?  And to do that in isolation?  It's easier when there are other people involved -- I've heard people do performance just to have that pressure to improve themself.  Why not do something like that on your own though?

[Petter]

It´s hard to get angry unless you´re provoked. Maybe hire someone to piss you off? I read in the newspaper about a man who was riding a bike down a slope and some kid threw a snowball at him so he went off and punched the kid in the face. Something along that line.

[timothy42b]

Turning anger into determination while still remaining "sociable." Wow. That's really quite difficult.

Not necessarily.  If you take the approach that you cause your own anger with your own irrational thoughts, it can be fairly easy to get control of it.  There are some techniques that work. 

Anger is a beautiful emotion. It is powerful, uncontrollable - everything that some little part of us longs to be.

Anger is intensely rewarding, and even when you've learned how not to be angry most people do not want to give it up.  However, it always reduces your ability to choose the best problem solving approach, always harms your relationships with others, and in the long run is internally destructive.  Since you can do without it most of the time, why not?