the best way to sabotage a pianist.....

[pmz310]

sorry, i couldnt resist haha

[ramseytheii]

Legend has it, at the ultra-competitive Juilliard of the 1950's, pianists would hide razor blades in between the keys of the practice room pianos, to cut up their rivals fingers.  I don't think it is actually true.

Charles Rosen tells a story (which now I can't find in my books) about two students sitting in the front row of one of his concerts, I believe it was the Brahms second concerto; right before a particularly difficult passage, he heard one of them say, "Watch this," to his friend, and of course screwed the whole thing up.

Walter Ramsey

[lostinidlewonder]

Tune a few of their notes to different keys

[rc]

I once witnessed, at a student recital, a kid goes up to the piano and starts playing something by Bach.  Up comes father, standing a little ways away with his fancy camera: *click* *FLASH*, he takes a picture.  I can understand that, it's just a picture and shouldn't distract the kids playing much.

...But the next 20 or so pictures sure did the trick!  Kid soon lost track of the playing, and had to stop/start a few times, all the while pops is merrily taking pictures...  Totally oblivious that he's ruining his sons moment.

It was painful to watch.

[lostinidlewonder]

At least they could look back in their family album, "Look son this is where you stuffed up, look at your face!"

[rc]

"Hah, that's funny pops. Oh that reminds me, we're sending you off to a retirement home.  This will be your room "

[pmz310]

i think the best way is to go at their hands with a huge hammer

[general disarray]

Legend has it, at the ultra-competitive Juilliard of the 1950's, pianists would hide razor blades in between the keys of the practice room pianos, to cut up their rivals fingers.  I don't think it is actually true.


Walter Ramsey

Uh huh, this one has been floating about for years.  I heard it occurred at Indiana in the 1960s with two students of Pressler who were vicious rivals.  It was the Schumann Concerto that became "scored" for piano, orchestra and razor blades -- especially for the pianist's opening jagged, slicey chords.  Yeech.

[lucylucy]

?? Sorry i don't understand the topic

[tds]

your coming in here...

[pianochick93]

?? Sorry i don't understand the topic

pmz is asking what is the best way to sabotage a pianist...i.e. stop them being able to play.

[invictious]

Tell them to play Fur Elise and Fantaisie-Impromptu

[pmz310]

when i mean sabotage, i mean physically sabotage haha

[tds]

when i mean sabotage, i mean physically sabotage haha

u violent lil thang!

[Essyne]

Play lots of chords that them CRINGE in the practice room adjacent to them (well, that's what I did yesterday to piss all of them off ).

[pmz310]

u violent lil thang!

haha you dont even know

[pianogeek_cz]

pmz, are you, by any chance, entering  a competition in the near future?

[tds]

pmz, are you, by any chance, entering  a competition in the near future?

n perhaps we can shorten one of his fingers? *tries to help his thread*

[pmz310]

maybe, but you will never know dawg haha!!!

[tds]

maybe, but you will never know dawg haha!!!

only half an inch, please!!

which finger? hmm..pinkie d smallest, so it would hurt less..

[tds]

sorry, i couldnt resist haha

its ok, we'll help you. left or right pinkie?

[communist]

make them play WII boxing that should do the trick 

[tanman]

I don't even want to know why you want to know...

[lostinidlewonder]

Tell them to play Fur Elise and Fantaisie-Impromptu

That combination always reminds me of a notorious post on piano forum:)

[chopininov]

Take all the ivory, or plastic, off the keys so the wood part shows and hope they get splinters.

Loosen the legs so the piano squeaks when it moves. Most effective when they are playing pieces like Rach Prelude Op. 3 No. 2.

[tompilk]

I saw brendel a month ago and his piano stool squeaked all through the first half. I'm sure it put him off because he had to stop due to a memory lapse in the Mozart... a technician came on to tighten some part of the stool and it was fine after.
But I rekon that must be so annoying... whenever you get to a good bit and move around, the stool squeaks!

[chopininov]

To me, it's the equivalent of a leaky faucet in a quiet room.

[tanman]

That actually happened to me at a recital. The bench kept squeaking, and it made me screw up the Chopin Ballade 1. Really embarrassing.

[dnephi]

Spike their drink with 3 200mg caffeine pills.

[pelajarpiano]

Give them a piano made from iron with many key made like a knife.Hahaha Just kiding.

[Petter]

bullet in the head

[pelajarpiano]

bullet in the head

it's not sabotage but murder...hahaha

[healdie]

you could mic up the piano and then line this up with a delay effects unit and turn up to full so when they play a note it repeats back a 50 times that would sure scew any performance when you play a C, c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c. or you could let a goat run across the stage with a siren tied to it's coller that tells everyone to get out of the building.

[chopinmozart7]

I´ve heard that in the 1970s someone put some extra strong glue on the pianokeys
and when the pianist should play he just stopped having his fingers stuck and everybode
wondering.

[chopinmozart7]

Or you can put an anti-black-key laserbeam or hammers with would break the fingers of the pianist.

[chopinmozart7]

Otherwise you can just watch the whole performance and then after with everybode agreed shout buuuuuuuuuu!!!,and the pianist 

[chopinmozart7]

you could put some sound-isolation in the piano before the concert.
then when the pianist are about to play, everybody thinks he got a black-out.

[chopinmozart7]

just let some gangmembers take care of the pianist

[chopinmozart7]

you could put some sound isolation in the piano and when the pianist plays you put on some sound from the speakers like imsy,wimsy spider... OK, is he a professional pianist

[tds]

chopinmozart, u are very eager to harm us

[chopinmozart7]

im am just jooking
 

[aewanko]

Throw a grenade and run away. "Simple" as that.

[tanman]

Throw a grenade and run away. "Simple" as that.

that's more like muder... not really sabotage...

and hopefully I won't be in the same piano competition with the people who gave lots of suggestions here... *chopinmozart7 cough cough

[lina rose]

put super glue on the keys of his piano...and on his piano stool...

[chopinmozart7]

when the pianist plays drag the piano chair  away'

[pianistimo]

marry a pianist.  then you'd have to fight over the piano, who's music went where, how a piece should be interpreted, who's students are mine and who's are yours, why aren't your students good enough for me, why aren't my students good enough for you - why did you break a string on the piano, what did you eat when you were practicing?, you know - really IRRITATING stuff.

[ahinton]

marry a pianist.  then you'd have to fight over the piano, who's music went where, how a piece should be interpreted, who's students are mine and who's are yours, why aren't your students good enough for me, why aren't my students good enough for you - why did you break a string on the piano, what did you eat when you were practicing?, you know - really IRRITATING stuff.

...and this is supposed to be some kind of recommendation?...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

yes.  i know it's lame.  after all, if one is a pianist ...WHY would they want to sabotage any other pianist.  even one they are competing with?  it's crazy.  then you'd have no real competition and that's boring.  i much prefer to feed them a good breakfast and then see what they can do.  or massage their shoulders (wait* i'm married - but we massage each others shoulders).  tell them they play really well. 

ok.  hmm.  puts on evil hat. sabotage. sabotage.  i've got it!  no.  wait.  hmmm. must think about this. 

[concerto_love]

 

[ramseytheii]