whoda thought theyd be such good friends?
Why odd couple?In my eyes they are just two Englishmen
Er - I think that you should reconsider that!...Best,Alistair
Alistair is a Scotsman!
Oh well, should have just said they are two folks from the United Kingdom to make it safe. Their difference in nationality is probably the cause of all their fighting, I would assume.
Fighting? I never saw any fighting...
or two folks from United Kingdom...
Alistair is a Scotsman! Oh well, should have just said they are two folks from the United Kingdom to make it safe.
I read somewhere that there are some Scotsmen who settled south of the border in places such as Bath.
Is it true that they still live in mud huts on the outskirts of town
Scottish Music Schools will only teach you how to dance around a collection of broadswords whilst wearing a skirt.
I have heard this too, but i understand that the only ones who have made a success are the ones taught in English Music Schools.Scottish Music Schools will only teach you how to dance around a collection of broadswords whilst wearing a skirt.Thal
Only not for much longer, under some new anti-knife crime legislation, swords are classified as dangerous weapons and as a result sword-dancing will be outlawed.
Travelling to the North, it is important to miss the two main cities of Glasgow and Edinburgh. The population is not very friendly and due to the slurring drunk accent, it is virtually impossible to have a conversation with them. The bus drivers of both cities are paid bonuses based on how many tourists they run over.
Question: we were told that these Scotsmen who settled in mud huts near Bath called their settlements the "hinterlands" and the settlers "hinties." Is this just mythology or is it true?
My wife actually travelled to Edinburgh to perform there at the festival. From what she was saying, she actually liked the city and people very much.
Heavens! Does this mean when I visit the UK on safari this fall I cannot bring a nail file for a manicure?
That is Roman mythology and not Celtic.Legend is that a Centurion called "Hintonius Maximus" arrived at what is now known as Bath in the 1st century AD. He had with him an 85 foot music scroll that contained a 4 hour piece for the lyre. This has regretfully been lost.Thal
I feel a little lesson coming on, so people can realise the differences between areas of the UK.
First of all you need to look at a map of England and find a town called Stevenage. If you then draw a horizontal line across the map, you have divided England into North and South which is very important.
Most of the civilised and intelligent people come from the South of this imaginery line,
although i am not entirely certain about Wiltshire.
North of the line, things start to go downhill and this increases the further North you go until you reach the Scottish border
To the West, is a Country called Wales which is kept seperate from England by something called Offa's Dyke.
This is an apt name as Wales has a lot of Dykes.
Other than that, Wales is populated by millions of worried looking sheep and some people who talk like they are bringing up a furball. A great English king called Edward once tried to civilise the Welsh, but they just pelted him with cow droppings. After building a few castles and killing a few thousand, Edward gave up and nothing has changed much since then.
The North West and North East of England are inhabited by two entirely different races. In the North East, the people wear flat caps and live almost entirely on black pudding. In addition, the males cannot propose marriage until they have stuffed 3 ferretts down their trousers and stood still for 2 minutes. The North West is populated by profiteering hoteliers and fell runners. The males there cannot propose marriage until they have put their head through a horse harness and pulled a funny face for 60 seconds.
As we cross over into Scotland, we are really going back in time. Millions of pounds of English taxpayers money has been sent to Scotland to bring them into the 19th Century and i have heard it rumoured that some of them are even using chairs now. Again, there is a North/South divide.
The South of Scotland is very sparsely populated. The only place worth visiting is the service station at Abingdon
and the only reason you would do that is to have a piss without being attacked by 16 millions midges. Travelling to the North, it is important to miss the two main cities of Glasgow and Edinburgh. The population is not very friendly and due to the slurring drunk accent, it is virtually impossible to have a conversation with them. The bus drivers of both cities are paid bonuses based on how many tourists they run over.
North of the Great Glen Fault, we are entering the dark ages. Many of the inhabitants still live on sheeps bladders, fulmer eggs and whiskey.
It is also impossible to find a bed & breakfast that has ever heard of something called a "credit card", so carrying cash is essential.
If you take your children to this area,
please remember that the poor christianised slaves close all play areas on the sabbath and chain the swings together. You can also be flogged for opening a packet of crisps on this day.
If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask.
Excellent lesson! But, I do have one question:I read somewhere that there are some Scotsmen who settled south of the border in places such as Bath.
Is it true that they still live in mud huts on the outskirts of town and write complicated music for an instrument made out of an old spirits bottle (found by the roadside usually) that sounds rather like an ocarina with a head cold?
I have heard this too, but i understand that the only ones who have made a success are the ones taught in English Music Schools.Scottish Music Schools will only teach you how to dance around a collection of broadswords whilst wearing a skirt.
Why Stevenage?
Not sure about this, but i have heard that many Scots install double glazing so their children cannot hear the ice cream van.
And billions of pounds of North Sea oil revenue has been purloined over the past few decades by unsrupulous English governments
This is immensely helpful. Thank you!But one follow-up question, please, for my National Geographic Study Group (which meets, happily, tonight.) Question: we were told that these Scotsmen who settled in mud huts near Bath called their settlements the "hinterlands" and the settlers "hinties." Is this just mythology or is it true?
That is Roman mythology and not Celtic.Legend is that a Centurion called "Hintonius Maximus" arrived at what is now known as Bath in the 1st century AD. He had with him an 85 foot music scroll that contained a 4 hour piece for the lyre. This has regretfully been lost.
The Scots usually just arrange the drunken brawls in the evening.
Amusing as all of this is (notwithstanding the fact that "ferrets" have only one "t"), it surely cuts little ice in either side of northern England where the population is heavily infused with immigrants from well outside England and those antiquated traditions to which you allude have less than no significance for the Indian, Chinese or southern and Eastern European sections of northrn England's current population...
Nail files are illegal in Scotland.Most Scots keep the remains of their dinner under their nails and it is against their religion to waste anything.
I detect a long post from Hinty.
"Hintonius Maximus?" The SAME Centurion whose father, Hintonius Loquaicious, inscribed the first Latin language dictionary on the netherlands pelt of a Scotch Highland Warthog?
like the English, most Scots keep the remains of their dinner in their stomachs
Hmm, you cannot spell Europe.
I did not go into details or my post would have been much longer. I made no claim to be 100% correct, but i feel i have given a decent summary for the dear members of this Forum not versed in the complexities of our little island.
Abingdon serivces is in the South of Scotland. I know this as i have used their bog on more than one occasion.
I cannot remember the last time we actually had an English government.
It is true that eventually all English traditions will be wiped out, but i have covered this and immigration in some of my other posts.
Eventually we will all be jumping onto our spouse's funeral pyre and learning how to put a sword through our tongues.
Possible, but at least the English don't actually eat stomachs. Or not this one anyhow.
Hmm, time for bed.I will dream about all that Scottish oil flowing into England to keep the prices down.
Topic: Thal and Ahinton - the odd couple? 