I performed the gaspard many times about 4 years ago. I had worked on the piece off and on for several years with no teacher and then studied with a brilliant concert artist, zora mihailovich. I had a very similar problem. I remember the first time I performed the piece -- which was on a very insane program of Beethoven Op 111, the gaspard, and a couple rachmaninoff etude tableauxs. I was so nervous in the Beethoven, and really stupid to open a program with 111, but my teacher was very unconventional and she let me do what I want -- anyway, you know what I did about my anxiety in playing scarbo?-- because ondine would come off well, and le gibet I really mastered first, of the three -- but when it came to scarbo, I would either start too fast and it would be a mess, particularly the first line of the main theme on page 2 of scarbo and then when it repeated 2 pages later -- the left hand arppeggios killed me there for some reason -- I didn't have much trouble with the repeated notes and the other sections -- anyway, I resorted to smoking a little weed before I played this piece. I know I know -- I can hear you all screaming at me and this post may not make it or may be deleted. I actually discussed it with my teacher. After months of experimentation, I was able to adjust my dose before my lessons and before performing this piece where it would relax me enough where I could pull it off. I'm sure this does not help you at all, but that's how I got through the anxiety of playing scarbo. It was the only thing that would relieve my anxiety and make me relaxed enough to play it. I have tension problems enough in life. To play scarbo, you must be absolutely free of tension, absolutely. This is a hard state to accomplish for me with this piece, especially when performing. I went back to my alma mater - University of Oklahoma and played it there in 2000 at their new concert hall, and smoked a little too much and was a little too relaxed. The performance went well, and I actually had it professionally recorded. The only problem was the tempi were a bit slower than normal, particularly in scarbo, which when listening back was a real problem for my ear, but it sounded ok. Good luck -- if you are adverse to this solution, I would strongly suggest some TM before the performance and during practice so you can work it in. I don't care who is playing Scarbo, it is physically an incredibly difficult piece to play -- no if's, and's, or but's about it!!!

Good Luck. Let us know how it goes.