Are beards and wisdom directly related ?

[m19834]

I am just thinking.  If it is true, then perhaps the more bearded an individual is, the more wise ?  Or, perhaps it's the other way around, actually ?  The less bearded, the more wise ?

In any case, if women are going to be having any envy over men ( ), my guess is that it's actually beard and moustache envy.  Just ask M., I wouldn't really know since I am just a living space and environment.

[cmg]

Beard = itch and twitch. 

itch and twitch = unfair comparisons to the Emperor Claudius, once thought to be an idiot.

[Bob]

Women can have beards.


Maybe it's the size of the beard that counts?  I see plenty of guys with little goaties who don't seem very wise.

[m19834]

Okay, but, perhaps it's the existence of any beard at all, even in a small portion, that actually decreases wisdom ?  So, it's not that a person with a goaties needs a bigger beard, instead they need it shaved off ?

[0range]

and...

this

[Bob]

You mean you can't have a beard unless you're wise?

What about ZZ Top?

[communist]

i find beards repulsive

[thalbergmad]

Beards=Clever

I am a living example.

Thal

[m]

Are beards and wisdom directly related ?

Yes! Most definitely!!  
The relation is quite simple--if there is a beard then there is wisdom (the size of the beard doesn't matter)  . Of course, as always, there are exceptions, which... only support the rule.

Best, M

[shortyshort]

At the moment I have a beard, only because I can't be bothered to shave. 

So at the moment, I am clever. 

[thalbergmad]

There are exceptions of course.

Brahms had a beard and he was well thick.

Thal

[m19834]

Wow, my life really just makes so much more sense now.  All of this time, I have been getting these deep and profound intuitions that there was a direct relationships between beards and wisdom, but for decades and even centuries, I think, I didn't know for sure if it were actually true !  Imagine the agony ! 

Thank you so much for your assistance on these matters .

[shortyshort]

https://friendsofcannabis.com/photos/Cheech_Chong2.jpg

[thalbergmad]

Wow, my life really just makes so much more sense now. 

I am glad to have been of assistance.

Please do not hesitate to ask if you have any more deep and meaningful questions.

I am a bit of a part time guru.

Thal

[richard black]

I am a bit of a part time guru.

Which bit? And what does the guru in question think of this?

[thalbergmad]

Which bit?

The lower half

[Bob]

I guess that means guys get wiser as the day goes on.  Five o'clock wisedom.


Aren't beard also associated with criminals?  Beards meaning they're hiding something.  You can't elect a politician with a moustache.  That sort of thing.

And just to throw it out there... Does that mean women can't be wise?


Would Bernhard have a beard?  He must.  Must... tache!

[Bob]

And doesn't the devil have a beard?  See, I don't think goaties should count.  Goaties mean deviousnessness.

[m19834]

I guess that means guys get wiser as the day goes on.  Five o'clock wisedom.

hmmm ... Marik specifically said that size doesn't matter.

[Bob]

How much of a beard does it take to be wise then?  (Bob considers growing a beard now.)

(All the dyslexic people are wondering if they have intelligent toast now.)

[Bob]

Maybe... it's the placement of the beard.  Chin and under the nose don't count.  Maybe it has to be on the checks.  Porkchops.  Maybe porkchops are the true sign of wisedom.

[alpacinator1]

I fail to see how there could be a correlation between intelligence and the point at whice one severs the hair on their chin...

[m19834]

I fail to see how there could be a correlation between intelligence and the point at whice one severs the hair on their chin...

Perhaps that is precisely because you don't own a pet beard 

[m19834]

I am glad to have been of assistance.

Please do not hesitate to ask if you have any more deep and meaningful questions.

I am a bit of a part time guru.

Thal

Thank you, Thal, that is a very kind offer .

[Bob]

(Bob strokes non-existent beard.  Wait a sec...  Anyway....)

If one has a hairy posterior, does that make one a 'wise ass?'

Can one be a wise ass without having a hairy posterior?




Could one still be wise if one saves their beard hair?  Or would that just be really, really, reeeeally weird?  Or would that be a pet beard? 


One.

One one one one one.


(Bob looks around at this strange new area of the forum.  He shoos the bears away.  "Go away bears.  Don't even think about entering this thread for you are not wise.")

[Bob]

What if you have a false beard?  Is that false wisdom?



And aren't female dates called "beards" sometimes?  Does that mean if you go on a date, you're wise?

[m19834]

( K. also strokes air-beard)

Actually, a hairy posterior may still count as a beard if it doesn't matter where the beard is.  You know ?

Saving beard hair, that is a really good question ... in my wildest imaginations, I can't figure that anybody would ever consider that to be weird.  Let alone *really* weird.

[Bob]

For a beard pet.  Get a few beards clippings and some duct tape and you're set.  Instant pet beard and loads of fun.

I'll let someone else be the first to try that and let everyone else know how it goes.

[m19834]

Yeah, but what do you actually feed a pet beard ?  Maybe I should start a "What is your pet beard eating right now ?" thread 

Also, is the pet beard automatically wise ?  Or, does it have to grow its own beard ?

[Bob]

It would start off small and keep growing.  You would have a mouse sized pet beard.  Then a hamster sized pet beard.  Eventually moving into poodle-sized and so on.

If it had fleas, would those fleas be wise?

A pet beard should not be confused with the more common hair ball or dust bunny.

[Bob]

And if you do have a pet beard large enough to put on a leash and talk for a walk (dog-sized), the people who stop and stare are only in awe of your wiseness.

It is very unwise to get your pet beard mixed up with a pet bear though.  Highly unwise.

[0range]

How does Bob feel about beard enhancement surgery?

[Bob]

Good point.  What if Gandolf and Dumbledor used beard extensions?  Extra pieces of false beard clipped in for the appearance of wisedom?


Or get a beard transplant.  Beard hair plugs.

Or electrolosis.  Never have to shave again.  That wouldn't look very manly though.  If you could stop the beard hairs from growing and just freeze a fresh shave...  Would that be like a brain freeze?

[Petter]

I recently watched the german submarine film Das Boot about a submarine and it´s crew during WWII. There´s a journalist coming along on the trip and he´s taking pictures of the crew when they´re about to enter the sub. The captain tells him to wait with the photographs until they´ve returned home cause by then everyone would have grown a beard. And everyone grows a beard except one guy which is the antagonist and only guy among the crew who really deeply sympathizes with Hitler ideas. So in this case I´d say beards and wisdow are related. But it´s possibly more related to being manly or a fruit...And since men and wisdom doesn´t really correlate with each other all that much anymore in our postmodern age, I´d say beard and wisdom isn´t related unless the man is a homosexual.

[Bob]

So fruit can have beard?  Or is that mold?

Could an orange have a beard?  Or appear so if you drew some eyes on it while it was molding?


Dumbledore... Yeah.  I've heard about him.  He had a beard too and was wise.  Things are starting to make more sense now.  I'm wondering about Gandolf now... And not too many hobbits had beards... Hmmm....


This thread will make perfect sense to anyone who is very tired and does not have a beard.

[m]

BTW, from what I remember, m1469 had a mustache and some point even a beard. I think that counts too...

[lostinidlewonder]

Maybe some wise men have no time to shave between thinking, so they grow their beards....

[tanman]

what about sideburns? do long sideburns count?

[db05]

Maybe some wise men have no time to shave between thinking, so they grow their beards....

Does that mean they grow their hair and fingernails, too?

[general disarray]

BTW, from what I remember, m1469 had a mustache and some point even a beard. I think that counts too...

Hey, that's right!  And look what happened to m1469:  she morphed into Karli.

So, here's the test:  Is the beardless K wiser than the bearded m1469?

[mad_max2024]

What if you have a false beard?  Is that false wisdom?

Artificial intelligence perhaps...

[m19834]

BTW, from what I remember, M. had a mustache and some point even a beard. I think that counts too...

Hey, that's right!  And look what happened to M.:  she morphed into Karli.

So, here's the test:  Is the beardless K wiser than the bearded M.?

hmmm ... I don't know .  Though, one may question what kind of wisdom does a M. really have to let herself become bearded in the first place ?

[0range]

I propose to christen this style the "***" beard.

[ahinton]

I possess a (not particularly fine) example of the former and can therefore confirm that there is less than no guarantee that such possession is directly related to the latter.

Best,

Alistair

[Bob]

If you have two or three chins... You could double or triple your wisedom.


I ran into a bearded guy today. Very smart, but I'm not sure about the wisedom part.


And porkchops are sideburns. I think.  Similar at least.  If sideburns are a sign of wisedom, what does that make Elvis?


A more serious question...
Wisedom and women?  Can women be wise?  Is that in our culture?  Because it's easy to think of wise men.  Three wisemen, the bible.  Gandolf.  Dumbledore.  Maybe Santa Claus.  Are there any famous wise women?  Or is it called something else when women are wise?

[shinerl]

If you have two or three chins... You could double or triple your wisedom.


I ran into a bearded guy today. Very smart, but I'm not sure about the wisedom part.


And porkchops are sideburns. I think.  Similar at least.  If sideburns are a sign of wisedom, what does that make Elvis?


A more serious question...
Wisedom and women?  Can women be wise?  Is that in our culture?  Because it's easy to think of wise men.  Three wisemen, the bible.  Gandolf.  Dumbledore.  Maybe Santa Claus.  Are there any famous wise women?  Or is it called something else when women are wise?

  There are related cases where a infant was born with 2 or 3 chins

We'll he will bw the next einstein

[rc]

Einstein only needed a moustache

Tom Sellick too...



 

What's he hiding?

[thalbergmad]

What's he hiding?

Acne??

[Bob]

What about the terrorists?  They have beards.

[m19834]

.