Are you having insecurities?

[tsagari]

Hi,
I have great insecurity with my playing the piano. I try to feel positive but the enviroment is hostile - or it might be my impression. Since I am an adult learner nobody is interesting in my progress, lisening to me ect. At home they are complening of me making noise when I am playing and their argument is that they can not listent to the same pieces a million of times although they are proud of me being a long life learner. Where I am taking classes they are very few adults of different ages and levels but the majority of students are between 6 and 15 years old. I have the same age as most of the mothers. In theory class I have the same age with the teacher and my mind works completely different from that of my classmates most of them being 10 to 13en years old plus two around the early 20es. My friends are telling me not to bother but is difficult. My teacher is satisfied but this is not enough for me, sometimes I am wondering if she is just kind with me because I study hard.
Do not suggest to go someplace else to study because everywhere is pretty much the same. Since I have no classmates I do not know where I stand, there is nobody to discuss the difficulties I have with my pieces and I do not know how other people are playing these pieces - I listen only the professional recordings and I feel depressed.
Any advice, I think the situation is a dead end

[gyzzzmo]

You probably need to get some convidence in your own playing and set yourself goals. To get that convidence you could find some places where you can play publicly like in a restaurant or grand cafe, they might even want to pay you if you can adapt your music.
You could also consider to play with other people, in a band (if you like the music) or duets.

good luck,

gyzzzmo

[mad_max2024]

I think everyone is insecure about his playing, music always sounds worse to us than to people who listen to it.
My teacher started having small public sessions where students would play a few months back. At first I was terrified, then after a few sessions I grew a lot more confident. But I still shake all over whenever I have to go up there and I don't expect that to change a lot.

Don't know if you are only into classic, if you know music theory and can manage a bit of improvising you can join a band, it is loads of fun and you can get in a few small shows in bars and such.

As for classic, maybe you can talk to your teacher on what you can do, playing in public and beginning to show yourself a bit may ease those difficulties.
As for the people at home, listening to the same pieces over and over again is not easy...  Luckilly I never had that problem but I bet a lot of people do. A piano can bother a lot of people, no matter how good the pianist.

I would discuss it with my teacher, noone better to set you on the right track.

[tsagari]

Thanks all of your for the responce.
Me being expose to public is one solution but do you think is a good idea to play in the public sessions organized by my teacher where the participants are kinds playing elementary pieces - the most advance pieces are a Clementi sonatina or Fur Elise - advanced students never bother to play because they do not need the experience any more, they had enough when they were small. And the audience are parents who live the room at the moment their youngs leave the piano, whereas my teacher have said hundred of times that they should stay to the end to lisent to their classmates. Last year also there was a public session only with advance students. I was practicing a Mozart Sonata for months (first part) at the end it was cancelled because the other students drop, they had university exams. Now there is something planed for Christmans and also a night devoted to Bach, should I play? should I press my teacher to convince the other advanced students to play as well?

[javacisnotrecognized]

Me being expose to public is one solution but do you think is a good idea to play in the public sessions organized by my teacher where the participants are kinds playing elementary pieces - the most advance pieces are a Clementi sonatina or Fur Elise - advanced students never bother to play because they do not need the experience any more, they had enough when they were small.

Go to the recital, but when it's your turn to play, BAM - whip out something huge and impressive like a Chopin etude or something. If that doesn't give you confidence, nothing will!

[tsagari]

Go to the recital, but when it's your turn to play, BAM - whip out something huge and impressive like a Chopin etude or something. If that doesn't give you confidence, nothing will!

You are very wright about this. I have a Chopin waltz almost ready (op. 64 no2) it would be impressive for the ears of the parents. It is a wellknown piece and the fast part is impressive.  .

[tsagari]

I posted something wrong and I do not know how to remove it Sorry

[db05]

I feel that way a lot too. My classmates are around the same age group, but we all have very different backgrounds. Some are already playing in bands, in bars or in church. A few were complete beginners fresh out of high school. Some, like me, have a little college, and a little music beforehand.

My classmates would look up to me because I'm the "most intelligent". It apparently has nothing to do with music, but it does help me with studies.  I am neither the best performer or musician. Sometimes I think I am the worst, actually. I'd feel depressed because I put much thought into this, and these people just play things through and they're doing better than I am.

I've been depressed lately, yes. I panicked and thought I wasn't going anywhere. All of my fellow piano majors are joining the grand recital competition this year. I got back to the piano the other day, since I got a lesson and I had to go even though I wasn't in the mood. Teacher was oblivious to my problem and talked to me so much I had to cheer up anyway. She was ranting about the competition, how some people should have won in the past, and some should have been disqualified, blahblahblah. I couldn't believe how people would cheat to get in, and my teacher was honest but she was just ranting. It doesn't make her angry or unhappy at all. I don't feel bad about not joining anymore. By my teacher's standards, you may say my classmates cheated to get in. But I can still join next year, fair and square.

Not that competing matters to me any more. The judges are unreliable anyhow. It is always such fun to play and to perform, and when I'm in the zone I forget all those insecurities. Just play what I want to play.

Must be hard for you to be the oldest student, but let me tell you, the oldest in our class is Teacher Jose, who is around 60-70!!  He learned violin when young and became a teacher, but he also wants to learn music theory to compose, and other things about music. He's enjoying it so far. 

[tsagari]

I'd feel depressed because I put much thought into this, and these people just play things through and they're doing better than I am.

That is true. If we feel that way all the time is geting worst. So I decided to put an end to bad thoughts and concentrate on the positive aspects of piano playing. I think everything is in the mind  Feel good feel great  (It me tell these    )

[josefine]

Tsagari,

If your family are compelling saying you are making to much noise, maybe it's possible for you to get a electric piano,where you can have headphones or turn down the volume a little (but make sure you'll still keep up the practice on the aucostic piano for maybe 20-30 mins/day). Or you can move the piano to another room, or maybe it can be arranged so that you can get a practice room where you have lessons?

So I decided to put an end to bad thoughts and concentrate on the positive aspects of piano playing. I think everything is in the mind  Feel good feel great  (It me tell these    )

This is a fantastic attitude, keep it up . I think the love you really seem to have for the music is the greatest gift one can ever have. That's admireble 

Best,

josefine

[chozartmaninoff]

insecurities happen in almost everything in life. See it as a positive!!! if u wern't insecure about your playing, would you try harder to improve?

As for other people, music is something that you do for yourself, for whatever reasons, for me, its a retreat, i play alot when things are getting on top of me. If you play for yourself and dont care what anyone else says things will get much better, and as a result your playing will improve.

What sounds like noise to people now, with a little hard work will be beautiful music.

Give yourself a personal goal, your confidence will boost when you achieve it. Even if its learning to play a piece thats a little past your level. Then, when you learn it, it wont matter what anyone says, you will be such a buzz and want to keep challenging yourself..


Good luck and all the best

[tsagari]

If your family are compelling saying you are making to much noise, maybe it's possible for you to get a electric piano,where you can have headphones or turn down the volume a little (but make sure you'll still keep up the practice on the aucostic piano for maybe 20-30 mins/day).

We have an electronic piano but we moved it upstairs - to my hasbands office when we bought the aucoustic. I use the mute pedal when I am studying but sometimes I need to lisent to my play. It is also the piano very noisy and loud even when my hasband plays - who is an excellent player - I have an eyer problem 

This is a fantastic attitude, keep it up . I think the love you really seem to have for the music is the greatest gift one can ever have.

Thanks for this you realy make my day

As for other people, music is something that you do for yourself, for whatever reasons, for me, its a retreat, i play alot when things are getting on top of me. If you play for yourself and dont care what anyone else says things will get much better, and as a result your playing will improve. What sounds like noise to people now, with a little hard work will be beautiful music.

You are wright about this. I play music for myself and I Know that is difficult for my familing lisening a three hour practice everyday. Also me teacher is strict and not very emotional and enthousiastic as I want her to be but she is doing that to make us better. But like people who like to cook as a hoppy I need someone to say that the food is delicious 

[momopi]

I sometimes do.

Sometimes, I just want to play easy kiddie pieces. Not because I don't want challenge. It's because they actually make me happy. But other people are like, "Oh... you play the piano... Could you play me some Chopin piece?" Or worse, "Could you play me some [insert some lulzy love song here]?"

=________=;;

And they can't even read notes. They just want to sing along to their favorite love song.

When I tell them that my level is somewhere between a beginner and intermediate, they couldn't understand. I told them I stopped for years and never had continuous  piano education and they wouldn't understand. They think, if you can read notes, you could sight-read anything and play along with someone who sings.

=________=;;

Besides, I have no desire to perform. I just like to play to myself and make myself happy with my slow progress. I don't like being forced to play in front of others. I don't like putting on a facade.

I'm happy that way but I feel insecure sometimes because I feel that others want to see me perform. It's like they're testing me. If you're not good enough, they wouldn't bother anymore. At least, that's what I feel.

And it makes me feel insecure - well, sometimes.

I try my best not to think about it.




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EDIT:

Hmmm... Another thing that could make me insecure is when others talk too much about theory. Piano education in my country (esp the ones for amateur) are not big on theory. People take a separate class for that. Some foreigners would say, "Ohhh... you don't know this and that!" Well, isn't it obvious? 

Well, this is more about being annoyed than being insecure, I guess. Hehehe.