Strange sensation in my hands when performing

[etcetra]

If you guys have read my previous posts, you probably know what my background/problem is... I am stumbling into a different kind of problem right now.. it seems like I am recovering well on the piano.. I have changed my approach on the piano and I am play alot more relaxed and I am noticing a steady and notiecable improvement that I haven't had in years. 

My problem right now is that every time I perform i get this strange sensation in my hands.. My hands are not tense at all but it "Feels" tense for some odd reason.  It's almost as if I am at this strange auto-pilot.. I end up making all kinds of mistakes that I would never make when I am practicing or playing at home, and I skip beats and lose my sense of rhythm in what I am playing.  All the sudden everything I do so easily without thinking becomes hard and impossible to do.

the good news is that it is not giving me pain like it used to.. my hands just feels funny. but it affects my ability to play tremendously.. i sound like a completely different person..does anyone here have similar problem.. and how can one deal with problems of this nature? 

[javacisnotrecognized]

Make a video of yourself performing, you might be doing something strange with your hands that you aren't realizing . .

[etcetra]

javacisnotrecognized,

thats a good idea, i will try that next time.. but I think that will only solve part of the problem, because I feel that tension/funny feeling long before/after I actually perform. in fact my hands were starting to feel funny as I was taking the bus to the place I was playing at... and its been about 6 hrs since I left that place but that funny feeling is still there and I can't seem to shake it off.

I guess thats part of the reason I have been frustrated with classical training.. i had several teachers and all of them told me that they don't see anything wrong with my technique.. and I've studied with them for a while to find a relaxed approach.. but every time I started playing gigs I get all this tension and the problem never got resolved.. its always as if I got better only to be "stuck" at the same tension i had all along.

[javacisnotrecognized]

Are you sure the solution is tension? A couple of hundred years ago, the pinnacle of technique was thought to be "Only moving the fingers". Then it became "Arm weight". Now, it is relaxation. You might want to check elsewhere for a solution.

[loonbohol]

I use my shoulders in playing the piano. But surely we have the same problem too.

[etcetra]

To illustrate the point, I can play Bach  Inevntion in my sleep when I am playing at home but if I am playing and someone is watching I liteally won't be able to go through a measure of music without making any mistake.  I guess It's a performance fear issue..  a psychosomatic reaction.. because the sensation is not real but imagined.  It was so weird how this sensation came suddenly as I was taking the bus to play.. I had not had this feeling since the last time I played... which was couple of month ago.


javacisnotrecognized,

I am not sure what you meant by your last comment... I am not sure how i gave the impression that tension was the solution.. what i meant was that I get this strange sensation involuntarily and it seem to happen only during performance, and whatever adjustments I made in practice (with or without teacher)has not helped me so far...where would I be looking for solution?

loonbohol,

Yea, having awareness of your shoulders and your arm helps playing.. the problem right now is not so much about not being able to use them.. but its about how my whole arm seem to freeze up when I perform.. and only when I perform.. it never happens in practice. 

[mike_lang]

Are your fingers completely warmed up when you perform? 

[etcetra]

michael_langlois

yea i usually am not able to warm-up beforehand.. a lot of times I am stuck with keyboard at the club, or a crappy piano.. and a lot of times the bench is too low or the keyboard is too close or far from me and I can't do anything about it... so I am sure thats' part of the reason.  I do try to warm up before I leave to play.. but its hard to adjust to different instruments on the spot.