Whaddaya think?

[Motrax]

https://polarisboard.org/motrax/Nocturne.mp3

Just curious about your opinion. It's a stinky midi file, so if you can't tell, it's for piano and violin. And because I wrote it in Notepad, the mp3 is missing a few trills, mordents, and ritenutos. And it's missing all conceivable musicality. But aside from those LITTLE problems  , do you like the piece?

[mark1]

I liked it!  It an easy to piece to listen to. Wish more people would post their compositions... it adds a nice mix to the forum!  It sounded pretty much where you want it... don't change it too much.                
                                     Thanks for the listen,  Mark        

[donjuan]

I think you have something special there.  It may be the MIDI, but I think you could benefit from developing the phrases- making it more emotional the longer you listen to it.  Build up with crescendos and stringendos, up until it reaches an orgasm of emotionality, than restate the main melody "piu appassionato", at fortissimo.  

but, then again- maybe you did do something like that, but it wasnt translated out through the MIDI recording.
My advice may help your music avoid being elevator music.
But, Overall, great work!! A very creative and imaginative musical portrait.
Im green with envy!
donjuan

[Motrax]

Thank you! Since I wrote this (and played it back) with Notepad, there are no dynamics, save for the simple physical fact that more notes tend to sound louder coming from a single source (my sound card).

By "developing the phrases" do you simply refer to musicality, or would you suggest adding more notes (to put it a little bluntly)? I did try to extend the length of the "fortissimo" section (hope you can guess which that is) a few times, but the original, short version which you hear sounded the best to me.

One specific spot bothers me the most - it's probably just the MIDI butchering what I had in mind, but it's in the middle of the fortissimo section, where the violin ends the first phrase and the piano plays three repeated 3rds - it sounds much too sparse. I think using the pedal here would give a much more full sound, and also serve to create a more flowing sound as opposed to the abruptness of the MIDI.

[donjuan]

I was refering to the musicality.  Okay, well I guess that is a problem with using MIDI.  
Yes, I know the place you are refering to..the much to sparse place..  
I cant tell from the recording, but maybe play the LH in octaves, and the RH an octave higher.
Just an idea...
donjuan

[Motrax]

*BUMP!*

Just because I want more feedback.