Hinty and Mr Logic

[m]

Very possibly (or equally possibly not - or even more possibly neither...

Hopefully Thal will chime in soon to fill in with the missing information and resolve this matter...

Best, M

[thalbergmad]

I cannot imagine i would play any Barrett, since the only piece i ever heard of his sounded like a dinosaur in a Steinway showroom.

Thal

[m]

I cannot imagine i would play any Barrett, since the only piece i ever heard of his sounded like a dinosaur in a Steinway showroom.

Just out of curiosity, how one would know how dinosaur sounds at all, let alone in a Steinway showroom 

Best, M

[go12_3]

Just out of curiosity, how one would know how dinosaur sounds at all, let alone in a Steinway showroom 

Best, M

Quite loud and dissonant !   

Best, go12_3

[m]

Quite loud and dissonant !   

But my question was on which basis did you make that conclusion? I don't think the fact of listening to Barrett is enough evidence, yet, wouldn't it?
Those creatures although were quite huge (at least that what they say, and that's what scheletons in various Museums of Nature look like) might very well have had very gentle souls and quiet melodious voices, and acoustics of Steinway showrooms might very well enhance those natural qualities, serving as a source of inspiration for generations of some talented composers and maybe even former track drivers...

Best, M

[ahinton]

Let us hope that the two people that attended the premier will not want a second helping.

Had there been just two, they would presumably have been the pianist and the page-turner; no composer or anyone else. Anyway, I cannot say whether any of the 150+ present at the first performance "wanted a second helping", but that prerformance was one of several given in the year of the première alone and the one next month will be the fifth performance that the piece has received this year; anyone wanting a second or subsequent helping has only had to purchase the CD which has been around for at least 15 years now (and also includes works by Stevenson and an absolutely massive piece by Sorabji that's all over within less than a minute...)

Might have to get a larger hot dog stand if too many turn up.

Apart from the apparent attraction to you of general dietary unhealthiness, I cannot figure out the rationale (if any) behind your hot dog stand obsession, let alone your perception as to some kind of relevance to the present context; indeed, no "dogs" of any temperature are required for the performance of this work and no one would be expected to "stand" for the performance, the more customary seated position being not only far more confortable but highly recommended for a piece of this duration - unless, of course, the forthcoming concert is to be attended by more people than there are seats at the venue....

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

I cannot imagine i would play any Barrett, since

...he has written nothing at all for banjo. I do not know what music of his you have heard (you do not specify this) but somehow "I cannot imagine" that he will be unduly perturbed by your apparent lack of willingness to imagine yourself playing anything of his...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

unless, of course, the forthcoming concert is to be attended by more people than there are seats at the venue....

Highly unlikely.

[ahinton]

Highly unlikely.

Please note that I did write "unless"; that said, however, on what exactly do you base your judgement of unlikelihood here? If it's anything along the lines of your being out by many dozens in your estimate of the number of attendees at the première, your basis of judgement would seem to be hopelessly unsound. Should readers assume from it that you do not in any case anticipate gracing the forthcoming event with your own august presence?

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

Picture taken at the premiere.

Thal

[ahinton]

Picture taken at the premiere.

Of what? The URL is https://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a94/Thalbergmad/Schumannconcert.jpg and, not only have I never had that work performed in a programme anywhere alongside any works by Schumann, I have also never had the same performed in the pictured venue (wherever it is), so your remark is at best woefully misleading and at worst an entire irrelevance. Sir.

Best,

Alistair

[m]

Are those people in the back looking for empty seats?

[general disarray]

No, not empty seats.  Thal passed out and rolled down the aisle.  This is the photo where they're trying to find him.

[thalbergmad]

I nearly passed out at the Wigmore Hall once.

I had far to many beers before the performance and i was bursting for a slash. Teacher was playing the Liszt sonata so i did not want to walk out.

Luckily, teacher plays fast.

Thal

[lostinidlewonder]

Lol you guys should give up music and become comedians

[Petter]

Laurel and Hardy. 

[m]

I nearly passed out at the Wigmore Hall once.

I had far to many beers before the performance and i was bursting for a slash. Teacher was playing the Liszt sonata so i did not want to walk out.

Luckily, teacher plays fast.

That's why my rule is never ever beer before the concert. Only wine or Scotch... depending on the concert, of course.

Best, M

[cmg]

That's why my rule is never ever beer before the concert. Only wine or Scotch... depending on the concert, of course.

Best, M

Wise man, indeed!  Some years ago, I had tickets to the Bayreuth Festival (well, tickets to the dress rehearsals) and the Wagnerians lock you in for each Act in the Festspielhaus and draw dark curtains over the exit doors.  If you had the nerve to try to leave in mid-Act, you'd never find your way out.  "Gotterdammerung," with its two-hour "Prelude" is a bladder challenge set up only for the bravest.  I purposefully fasted that day.  No booze. 

Thal would have been a disaster there.  Or in a diaper.

[m]

No booze. 

Sorry man, Wagner without at least half a bottle of some 40* booze is worse than... dinosaur in a Steinway showroom  .

Best, M

[thalbergmad]

Fats Waller used to put a gallon of "Moonshine" by the piano stool, which was empty by the end of his performance.

Did not seem to affect his playing, but on the downside he did not live very long.

Thal

[ahinton]

Fats Waller used to put a gallon of "Moonshine" by the piano stool, which was empty by the end of his performance.

Did not seem to affect his playing, but on the downside he did not live very long.

And he didn't perform in Steinway showrooms with or without a dinosaur for company, nor did he ever play my Grieg variations...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

No, not empty seats.  Thal passed out and rolled down the aisle.  This is the photo where they're trying to find him.

Nonsense! It can't be. Had Thal passed out and rolled down one of the aisles, he would surely be eaily visible at the end of said aisle, since photographic evidence supplied to forum members by Thal himself makes it abundantly clear that he is not of the dimensions that would make him easy to hide visually; whether by so doing he would have had the audience (or such as there seems to be of an audience for this Schumann concert - where was it, by the way?) "rolling in the aisles" is arguably quite another matter...

Best,

Alistair

[m]

Fats Waller used to put a gallon of "Moonshine" by the piano stool, which was empty by the end of his performance.

Did not seem to affect his playing, but on the downside he did not live very long.

Friend of mine used to work with Henryk Szeryng. At the beginning of every concert Maestro would open a bottle of whisky. By the end of the last encore the last drop from the bottom was gone. Needless to say, it did not affect the performance in any way. Unfortunately, it did affect his life span...

Best, M

[thalbergmad]

Oh dear, Hinty has forgotten to mention the performance of his Grieg Variations in his last post.

Just so everyone is aware, a performance of his Grieg Varations wil take place in a cramped nuclear bunker under a sheet music shop in the West End of London on the 16th April. The pianist is Ivan Erreksion.

Entrance is free, but you will need to pay £10 to get out. It would be advisable to wear a beard, so you have something to stroke and look interested during the performance.

A celebratory dinner will be held at the Pizza Hut, Oxford Street where a table for 3 has been booked in advance.

Thal

[m]

It would be advisable to wear a beard, so you have something to stroke and look interested during the performance.

Oh, I am sure a lot of ladies will follow that advise...

Best, M

[ahinton]

Just so everyone is aware, a performance of his Grieg Varations wil take place in a cramped nuclear bunker

Er - no (and "will" has two "l"s).

under a sheet music shop

Er - not exactly.

in the West End of London on the 16th April.

Yes. Even you can get some things correct on occasion, although two in the same sentence (as here) must be an all-time record.

The pianist is

Jørgen Hald Nielsen.

Ivan Erreksion.

Been playing with something other than your banjo, then, have you?

Entrance is free

Er - no.

you will need to pay £10 to get out.

Er - no, but the composer does have a reputation for not refusing cash when it is gracefully offered, so audience members need not feel discouraged from making voluntary donations on the way out if so inclined.

It would be advisable to wear a beard,

Er - why? And upon whose advice? Only yours, presumably - which will doubtless fall on especially stony ground for all the female audience members.

so you have something to stroke

Is this another reference to your non-banjo-playing activity, by chance?

and look interested during the performance.

What or how anyone may look before, during and after the performance (which is of other works as well as mine) is up to each audience member and, again, requires no advice from anyone - not even you.

A celebratory dinner will be held at the Pizza Hut, Oxford Street

Er - no.

where a table for 3 has been booked in advance.

Er - no.

Your post is self-evidently abit short on useful information and almost entirely bereft of factual ditto; I'd have thought that you could do better than that...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

I am only trying to help and ensure the evening is well attended.

Thanks to my efforts, London could be brought to a standstill as people rush form work to ensure they get a ticket to this Earth shattering event.

Just think, you might even get as much as 10 people in the audience.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

Oh, I am sure a lot of ladies will follow that advise...

Best, M

This lady is properly attired for a Hinty concert.

Thal

[ahinton]

I am only trying to help and ensure the evening is well attended.

Whilst your suddenly well meaning entreaties are appreciated to the extent that they may be genuine, I  annot help but conjecture that the best help of this kind that you can provide is to "ensure" that you personally turn up, buy a ticket and attend.

Thanks to my efforts, London could be brought to a standstill

No one in his/her right mind wants or needs London to "be brought to a standstill", as no such drastic measure would be necessary in order to "ensure" a decent audience capacity for this event.

people rush form work to ensure they get a ticket to this Earth shattering event.

Not everyone who attends will have come straight "form work" (by which one might assume you to mean "from work"), nor is anyone, to my knowledge, claiming that the event will be, or indeed should be expected to be, "Earth shattering".

Just think,

I note that you are now advising yourself; try to take that advice.

you might even get as much as 10 people in the audience.

By "much" you presumably mean "many" and, in any case, I am not the organiser of this event - Jonathan Powell is - so I would counsel you not to insult his stalwart efforts in putting together not just this event but the entire series of eight recitals; as to the number of people who might attend, I ask you again with the benefit of precisely what crystal ball your apparently quite arbitrary predictions originate...

See you there! Don't miss the other seven concerts either!

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

You have encapsulated yourself again.

Should be used to the "buttons" by now.

Thal

[ahinton]

This lady is properly attired for a Hinty concert.

I neither know nor care who she may be but, as long as she turns up and pays (or has someone pay) for her ticket, that's fine.

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

You have encapsulated yourself again.

No; sadly, it is you who had been encapsulated (although, as you may now note, you have been permitted to escape from the said encapsulation).

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

I am not the organiser of this event - Jonathan Powell is - so I would counsel you not to insult his stalwart efforts in putting together not just this event but the entire series of eight recitals

OK, i take back what i said.

If there are to be 8 concerts, then the total attendance might well exceed 10. Perhaps as many as 15.

Thal

[ahinton]

OK, i take back what i said.

In so doing, are you effecting one of your time-dishonoured 23-second farts in reverse?

If there are to be 8 concerts, then the total attendance might well exceed 10. Perhaps as many as 15.

Leaving aside that your audience attendance surmises continue to be based on nothing remotely resembling actual evidence, can you do forum members the courtesy of telling them what exactly it is that you have against Jonathan Powell's series of concerts at this venue that prompts you to make such remarks with such wearisome persistency?

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

can you do forum members the courtesy of telling them what exactly it is that you have against Jonathan Powell's series of concerts at this venue that prompts you to make such remarks with such wearisome persistency?

Because your responses always make me laugh.

These concerts are taking place in a squash court underneath a sheet music shop that might just house 50 people if you take the piano out.

Not exactly the Hollywood Bowl is it??

The Gravesend Morris Dancers Assoc has a bigger hall.

Thal

[ahinton]

Because your responses always make me laugh.

And you consider that adequate reason to pour scorn on the sterling efforts of Jonathan Powell to bring a wide variety of artists together in some fascinating programmes? Well, that presumably tells quite a few of us here all that we didn't want to know or knew already...

These concerts are taking place in a squash court

Amazing, is it not, that a "cramped nuclear bunker" is capable of metamorphosing into a "squash court" just because it happens to suit you? If you do attend, please do not expect to be allowed to have a game of squash there; afer all, you should remember the old and wise adage that "one should not play squash to get fit - one should get fit to play squash".

Not exactly the Hollywood Bowl is it??

No, indeed it is not - but then nor was the Purcell Room in which my work received its première nor some of the other venues in which it has been played; I would not in any case consider "the Hollywood Bowl" an absolutely ideal place in which to give a piano recital - would you?

The Gravesend Morris Dancers Assoc has a bigger hall.

Well, good for them, for they presumably need the space in which to do whatever it is that they do and, if ever they give a performance in their venue accompanied by you on the banjo I will be sure to - er - um - all of a sudden I'm lost for words to complete this sentence. Sorry.

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

You have done it again.

Best to get all of your posts done before you start the 2nd bottle.

Thal

[thalbergmad]

And you consider that adequate reason to pour scorn on the sterling eforts of Jonathan Powell to bring a wide variety of artists together in some fascinating programmes?

Yes of course.

If there are too many wide artists, they won't fit in that hall.

Thal

[general disarray]

Er - no (and "will" has two "l"s).
Er - not exactly.
Yes. Even you can get some things correct on occasion, although two in the same sentence (as here) must be an all-time record.
Jørgen Hald Nielsen.
Been playing with something other than your banjo, then, have you?
Er - no.
Er - no, but the composer does have a reputation for not refusing cash when it is gracefully offered, so audience members need not feel discouraged from making voluntary donations on the way out if so inclined.
Er - why? And upon whose advice? Only yours, presumably - which will doubtless fall on especially stony ground for all the female audience members.
Is this another reference to your non-banjo-playing activity, by chance?
What or how anyone may look before, during and after the performance (which is of other works as well as mine) is up to each audience member and, again, requires no advice from anyone - not even you.
Er - no.
Er - no.

Your post is self-evidently abit short on useful information and almost entirely bereft of factual ditto; I'd have thought that you could do better than that...

Best,

Alistair

since you're so intent on conciseness of expression, perhaps you can tell us your point, in this, and the posts that follow?  Are they not, as you might suggest, more appropriate to private messages?

[term]

since you're so intent on conciseness of expression, perhaps you can tell us your point, in this, and the posts that follow?  Are they not, as you might suggest, more appropriate to private messages?

Come on, let him be. They're just having a little flamewar :>

[ahinton]

Yes of course.

If there are too many wide artists, they won't fit in that hall.

Even if there are so few people in attendance as you attempt to suggest? The same might in any case be said for wide audience members - not that I am seeking to discourage your attendance, of course...

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

since you're so intent on conciseness of expression, perhaps you can tell us your point, in this, and the posts that follow?  Are they not, as you might suggest, more appropriate to private messages?

Your enquiry seems to be misplaced; Thal is the one seeking to make points and all that I have done is respond to what passes for them, so you'd be better advised to address your question to him, really.

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

Come on, let him be. They're just having a little flamewar :>

It seems to me rather more like Thal setting light to himself...

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

And you consider that adequate reason to pour scorn on the sterling efforts of Jonathan Powell to bring a wide variety of artists together in some fascinating programmes?

I do understand that it must be a logistical nightmare to organise a series of concerts like these.

Frist of all you have thousands of tickets and programmes to get printed.

Then you have to start getting the security arranged to control the crowds and to ensure all the honoured guests do not get crushed in the queue. I suppose you also need to hire a fleet of taxis to ferry all the guests that have flown into Gatwick.

Someone has to arrange the red carpet, flowers, public liability insurance, beard clippers etc.......

If you want a celebrity present, me mate Mark used to be in the Plumrose Hotdog Sausage advert.

If i can be of any assistance, please let me know.

Thal

[ahinton]

I do understand that it must be a logistical nightmare to organise a series of concerts like these.

I don't know about a "logistical nightmare" but there is indeed no small amount of co-ordination involved.

Frist

To the mill, puet-être?...

of all you have thousands of tickets and programmes to get printed.

Then you have to start getting the security arranged to control the crowds and to ensure all the honoured guests do not get crushed in the queue. I suppose you also need to hire a fleet of taxis to ferry all the guests that have flown into Gatwick.

Someone has to arrange the red carpet, flowers, public liability insurance

If you feel that there is a need to do all of this and that you wish to offer your services, I can only recommend that you contact Jonathan Powell direct, although as this series is about to commence, it would seem rather late in the day to do so. Why just Gatwick, incidentally? London has four other airports and many other public transport outlets wherefrom journeys may be made to the concert venue; why, there is even a train station in Gravesend (where they probably have Morris dancing on platform 2).

beard clippers etc.......

I don't know what it is about your beard obsession that prompts you to flaunt it with such wearisome frequency, but I suppose you do...

If you want a celebrity present, me mate Mark used to be in the Plumrose Hotdog Sausage advert.

I don't know what it is about your hot dog obsession that prompts you to flaunt it with such wearisome frequency, but I suppose you do...

If i can be of any assistance, please let me know.

See above.

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

Grieg Variations - Malborough Street Taxi Rank  - London - 16th April - DON'T MISS IT

It occurs to me that this advertising gesture, welcome as it might seem in principle, seems rather like locking the stable door after the horse has bolted, in the sense that one would not require to use that taxi rank (assuming there even to be one such in the location you have in mind) until after the concert has ended. The location is spelt "Marlborough Street", incidentally; folks might well miss it if they used your spelling.

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

The location is spelt "Marlborough Street", incidentally; folks might well miss it if they used your spelling.

They would never miss it. You will be able to hear all of those thousands of screaming groupies 10 miles away.

Are all of these concerts going to be held in the same squash court, or are other venues going to be used?

I only ask as my next door neighbour is clearing out his shed, so that would be available at a small cost.

Thal

[ronde_des_sylphes]

They would never miss it. You will be able to hear all of those thousands of screaming groupies 10 miles away.

Their screams will still be audible even through the mandatory beards?

[ahinton]

They would never miss it. You will be able to hear all of those thousands of screaming groupies 10 miles away.

I think that you are confusing yourself. One presumes that it some of those whom you call the "thousands of screaming groupies (and whom I would instead refer to as the audience) that would be using the taxi rank (and, as I stated, only after the concert); wht you write here suggests that these people would not miss the taxi rank because of themselves, which seems at best illogical and at worst incomprehensible.

Are all of these concerts going to be held in the same squash court, or are other venues going to be used?

Now that you appear to have made up what you are pleased to call your mind as to the venue concerned being a "squash court" rather than a "cramped nuclear bunker", let me remind you again that no squash is played at this venue, so you remain incorrect about this in any case. Yes, all the concerts in the series are to take place in the same venue; that's why the details provided say so and why the series bears the title that it does.

I only ask as my next door neighbour is clearing out his shed, so that would be available at a small cost.

Your next door neighbour (whose banjo tolerance is presumably quite high) is welcome to do what he likes with his shed, but the relevance of this to the concert series to be held in the venue concerned escapes me.

Best,

Alistair

[thalbergmad]

I can offer you a good deal on printed tickets.

I work for a printers that specialises in short runs.

Thal