I am angry......

[go12_3]

Yes, here's a post where we can vent our anger to who or what is bothering us at the moment in our lives...... 
I was angry at ahinton last night.  The reason for that I was having a difficult day and to read his replies to my posts, didn't make me feel anything better.  Perhaps, I took it out on him  through my posts.   Also, I am  not aquainted with ahinton, and this being the Internet, I usually don't know what to expect.  I do have a tendency to get hot-headed and but I  can be a nice person, but that's how it goes I suppose in the form;  some folks have their opinions to express.  And I did my share of them already!    

[cherub_rocker1979]

I happen to think that Mr. Hinton is one of the coolest PS members. 

[retrouvailles]

Yes, Alistair is probably the member I respect the most on this forum. Not just for his eloquence and typical English (Scottish) wit, but for his immense knowledge about music and for the few compositions of his I have heard.

[cherub_rocker1979]

Yes, Alistair is probably the member I respect the most on this forum. Not just for his eloquence and typical English (Scottish) wit, but for his immense knowledge about music and for the few compositions of his I have heard.

Yeah, what he said!

[pianowolfi]

Yes, here's a post where we can vent our anger to who or what is bothering us at the moment in our lives...... 
I am angry at ahinton, who seems to reply in a derogatory manner through out many of the posts in the forum.  And this has to stop.  The members here , although they may not be PERFECT in their Enhlish and in expressing themselves, ahinton doesn't need to dissect each and every sentence the members post.  They may be from a foreign country and English is their second language. So there is no need to analyize how they express themselves, just read their posts and move on.  If you have something uselful to say, then say it, but not to make other members feel inadequate in what they convey.  I am sure with your intelligence, which is somewhere in your celebral part of the brain, can figure out what it being said here.

Oh well I for instance don't mind Alistair correcting my English. I like his style, and for sure it was out of sheer humbleness that he refused to accept my term "Hintonish" for his exquisite use of language. Furthermore he did a great job at defending K against this at times horribly misogynist score collector

[Bob]

 

 

*clears throat*  mimimi....

Grey skies are gonna clear up....


 

[quantum]

I happen to think that Mr. Hinton is one of the coolest PS members. 

I so happen to agree. 


Many times his posts contain a lot of humor why still managing to include sophistication and sharp wit. 

Sure you could say !@#@#$@ when you stub your toe, or you could say it so artistically like Alistair does.

[go12_3]

Perhaps the kind and accomplised Mr. Hinton does appear to have such high esteem of the members on this post.  There could be a personality conflict between Mr. Hinton and I, perchance?  I don't know him personally, except through his posts, which indeed shows his intelligence and witt.  So that doesn't help me at the moment.  Anyhow, being the forum, I rest my case about Mr. Hinton. 

[pianochick93]

Alistair's posts are awesome, if a bit long.

As for me, I am angry at the girl I was working with tonight, because she is exceedlingly slow at cleaning so we got out an hour late. That's 10.30pm at night. Stupid, and it's happened twice.

[timothy42b]

Alistair's posts are awesome, if a bit long.

As for me, I am angry at the girl I was working with tonight, because she is exceedlingly slow at cleaning so we got out an hour late. That's 10.30pm at night. Stupid, and it's happened twice.

I get on my soapbox about this about once a year.  Get angry with me if you want, I don't care.

It is important to remember that Hinton did not cause go123 to become angry nor did that slow cleaner cause pianochick to become angry.

What really happened is that go123 and pianochick chose to become angry at somebody else's actions, ceding control.  And they could just as easily have chosen not to become angry, which would have accomplished two things:  not having to feel upset, and being able to cope better in a practical sense.  Almost never does our anger help us think more clearly. 

She's cleaned slowly twice before, yet you failed to expect it?  Shame on you for being surprised, it was completely predictable.  You knew it was going to happen, you chose to do nothing about it, then you chose to get angry at her.  It's not stupid, it's reality. 

I'm being more direct than usual, this could possibly be said more tactfully.   But I'm not going to force you to react either way! 

There are some specific techniques that make it easier not to get unnecessarily angry.  Ellis's RET is one of the more successful ones. 

[general disarray]

Thanks, timothy42b.  Well said. 

But getting angry here (or anywhere) is impossible to avoid since the anger-response is biologically based.  It arises as a defense mechanism.  Automatically. 

But timothy is reminding us that we don't have to become attached to the feeling, and we don't have to identify with it, and we don't have drag it around with us all day, ultimately projecting it onto someone else.

Anger on this forum is particularly absurd.  I mean, a few here are freaking out over ahinton's grammar/spelling corrections, but no one hardly bats an eye when others here crudely attack another poster's intelligence, integrity and experience with lovely words like "dumbshit!"   

I guess we can call each other "dumbshit" if we simply spell the word correctly!  That's sooooo good to know! 

[timothy42b]

But getting angry here (or anywhere) is impossible to avoid since the anger-response is biologically based.  It arises as a defense mechanism.  Automatically. 

Whether this is completely accurate or not I don't know.

What I do know is that a useful way to conceive of the process is that we do not react to the external stimulus.  There is a cognitive processing step in between.  We really react to our internal set of programming that interprets the external stimulus.  Thus, adjusting our thought patterns gives us control over our emotional reactions. 

Neurologically I don't know what really happens.  But seeing the process this way gives many people to control to not develop the anger, or at least reduce it to mild irritation and get over it. 

Long ago I when I worked in a hospital they assigned me the job of teaching RET.  It actually does work.  With some caveats. 

The most common teaching example is rain.  Do you get angry when you wake and see the rain pouring?  Well, it might depend on whether you were a farmer about to lose a crop in the drought, or a youngster going to his first baseball game with a long absent father.  Here it becomes obvious that it is not the outside event (rain) which provokes the emotion, but the intermediate cognitive step, the set of beliefs which processes it.  The theory is that you can become aware of your set of beliefs, dispute those which are irrational, and break the link between the event and the emotional consequence. 

[shortyshort]

I have grown to tolerate "Hinty" and not be bothered by his nit-picking.

He did wind me up for ages, but I eventually learned not to bite, and to let him annoy others.

I love him now, and if I were "Gay" He would be on my "Sexy list". 

[thalbergmad]

Indeed Hinty used to wind me up, especially when he kept referring to himself as we, but now i have grown used to his style and appreciate his dry wit.

Thal

[pianowolfi]

Indeed Hinty used to wind me up, especially when he kept referring to himself as we

That's called Pluralis Majestatis

[thalbergmad]

I thought that was a star cluster.

Thal

[pianowolfi]

No that was Omega Centauri old chap.

[thalbergmad]

Thats what i like about this place.

You learns something new every day.

Thal