Any tips for faking alertness or socialness?

[Bob]

(Is socialness a word?)

I'm tired.  Again. I find I can be physically present, but my mind is kind of flatlining in terms of attention.  I almost dozed off today several times.  Not great.

Yes, get more sleep, but anyway....

Does anyone have ideas for faking alertness or faking paying attention to someone?
Just smile and nod?  (Bob waits for the smile, agree, and nod joke.)

Force real attention when it's important?  That seems to burn up a lot of energy though.  So when someone is saying something that really isn't important.... ______________...  except in that it IS important when they feel like I'm not listening to them.

I'd like to not insult my esteemed colleagues at work and places.  That's the main point.  I must be giving off the appearance of not caring or being bored to death with what they're saying.  Sometimes I am, but today I wanted to listen, but I could tell they thought I wasn't interested.

I know it's not movitating to other people.  I'm not spreading enthusiasm when I'm tired but I'm just tired.  That's how it is.

Any advice?   Coffee, stimulants, exercise, eating healthy, etc., yes I'm doing that.  I just need coping strategies for when I'm tired.  Power naps aren't going to cut it.

[thalbergmad]

Does anyone have ideas for faking alertness or faking paying attention to someone?

No.

If someone is boring me, i generally let them know or just carry on with what i am doing.

Why fake it Bob?

People might think you are actually interested and will never leave you alone. I rarely get disturbed myself, so there are advantages in being honest.

Faking interest is terribly energy consuming and i gave up doing it years ago. You will wear yourself out and become a magnet for people who talk too much.

If someone is boring you, just politely tell them to piss off, or just ignore them completely.

Thal

[thalberg]

Well, Bob, I find that most of the time when people talk they are either trying to boast or evoke sympathy.  Those seem to be the two general categories into which you can fit most of what people say.  So just learn to say "That's really impressive!"  and "I'm so sorry" at the proper times and they will think you heard them.

[argerichfan]

If someone is boring you, just politely tell them to piss off, or just ignore them completely.

Thal, my good mate, we have major disagreements concerning certain areas of music, but you never bore me.  I'll agree to disagree before ever giving you the piss. 

Cheers, keep your enthusiasm intense. 

Yes, I know Schumann is not your fancy, but still give that Konzertstück Op. 134 a listen.  It's late Schumann, shortly before he went bonkers, the piece skirts the edge of sanity, it has an almost desperate beauty to it.  Schumann's Gemini inspired Florestan and Eusebius are having the final battle...

[thalbergmad]

Thanks old chap.

I think i will write a book. Perhaps "How to ignore talkative women" or "How to get rid of bores & braggarts"

Someone I used to work with claimed that i had totally ignored her for 15 minutes whilst she was telling me about her holiday and young baby. I mean, what the bloody hell did she expect?

Women can talk about crap for hours and it should be in man's defence mechanism, how to ignore them.

I think i could be onto a bestseller here.

Thal

[argerichfan]

I think i will write a book. Perhaps "How to ignore talkative women" or "How to get rid of bores & braggarts"  [...]

Women can talk about crap for hours and it should be in man's defence mechanism, how to ignore them.

I have learned not to go out with women from the bank after work for pints.  Things descend into the commonplace faster than I care to relate.  Some of them like American (is there anything classy or intelligent about the US?) shows like American Idol or whatever.  These folks shouldn't be watching TV, or at least forbidden from receiving that rubbish.  (Unless of course it be Frasier.) 

[Bob]

Good point about them talking more if I do act interested.  I need to at least not insult them.  Today someone was talking and I just zoned out and then my face must have showed it.  I need help occasionally form some of these people so I need to be on their good side.

[go12_3]

Sometimes, my eyes just get glazed......as my head keeps nodding.... automatically......while listening to something someone is uttering as my mind wanders....  happens to me a lot.....

[pianowolfi]

"Daddyyy, how long do I need to socialize ?" asked the teenie when the family expected company for the evening.

Well we are teachers, aren't we? I think there is a golden mean between faking and drifting away with glazing eyes. We can be alert and "socializing" for a little while and then, using our communication skills slightly pedagogically, lead the conversation where we want it to go.

[term]

If someone is boring you, just politely tell them to piss off, or just ignore them completely.

I agree, that's honest and uncomplicated. You don't have to ignore them or be in any way impolite, just make yourself clear. If you're not in a position to pay attention i found that in fact there's no need to hide it, just flatout tell people. Honest, direct and people will see and understand that right now you're not in good shape and have no time and energy for trivial stuff.

[csharp_minor]

I'm tired.  Again. I find I can be physically present, but my mind is kind of flatlining in terms of attention.  I almost dozed off today several times.  Not great.

Does anyone have ideas for faking alertness or faking paying attention to someone?
Just smile and nod?  (Bob waits for the smile, agree, and nod joke.)

Problem solved. Now put them on and take a nap.

[Petter]

Try one of these.

[db05]

Good point about them talking more if I do act interested.  I need to at least not insult them.  Today someone was talking and I just zoned out and then my face must have showed it.  I need help occasionally form some of these people so I need to be on their good side.

Yeah I see what you mean. I have the same problem. Plus I think people are scared or intimidated by me because I speak my mind and act it too. It's a bit too much, maybe. I want people to listen to me but I get annoyed or zone out when they talk, isn't that unfair?

Well it got to the point that no one in class wants to start talking to me about anything, and they all have their own ensemble/ band groups and I have none. I find I'm socializing out of sheer boredom. That's even more complicated.