The piano hates me.

[db05]

I wouldn't be too worried if it's just a problem learning new material. But now I can't even play the pieces I learned months ago, even the very first ones I learned. I tried different pianos, different days, moods. Nothing's improving. Nothing's even okay enough. I can't focus long enough to learn and apply something new. My hands sometimes feel like they never even touched a piano. I would try to practice, but the piano hates me, and I hate it.

There's something very wrong with me. Ever since I had this trouble in my *cough* life, I've been low and everything went down with it. I am just going through the motions. I'm not sure if there are ways to help going through them, while I can't solve the underlying problem.

[go12_3]

If you feel the piano *hates you* then I suggest taking a break from it and do something else for a day or so.  I don't know how some people end up beating themselves up about piano playing when it should be an enjoyable factor in their lives.

For me, I have to play piano and my violin(plus my guitar when I think about it!) each day.  Music is an important part of my life and it is necessary for me to survive this life on a daily basis.  I can sit down and practice and each day it is a new experience whether I am depressed or happy or things are troubling me, to the point of no return, in my mind.  However, whenever, I play my pieces, I forget myself and it's a release of my feelings as I play a piece as I think , *this is what I need at this moment* .  Nobody can take that moment away from me.  It's something special that happens between me and my piano. It's the same feeling with my violin, also.  Music is an expression of ourselves, no matter how we feel deep within, and somehow those expressions has to come out.

Sure, there are days I feel that my fingers are klonkers and don't want to cooperate while I practice, but I still play something in order to progress, and if I don't feel up to playing anything at all, then it's okay.  Not everything in life is set in a particular pattern for me to follow.  I practice 15 minutes, when my mind and body are not functioning, on a piece and then take do something else; and return later for another 15 minute practice.  Then when I feel better, I can practice longer on a piece.  It varies from day to day for me, but the main factor is that I have something to do with my time, even when it seems to stand still or nothing is happening in my life, is how my music reflects my innermost feelings and desires.   

best wishes,

go12_3

[db05]

If you feel the piano *hates you* then I suggest taking a break from it and do something else for a day or so.  I don't know how some people end up beating themselves up about piano playing when it should be an enjoyable factor in their lives.

Music is an expression of ourselves, no matter how we feel deep within, and somehow those expressions has to come out.

I have been *taking a break* for months. it's not working, and I NEED to get myself together because classes have started and teacher wants me to join this competition and I don't want to let her down and I'm having a lesson with this professor this week.

Then my playing says it all. I am a complete wreck.

[tds]

I wouldn't be too worried if it's just a problem learning new material. But now I can't even play the pieces I learned months ago, even the very first ones I learned. I tried different pianos, different days, moods. Nothing's improving. Nothing's even okay enough. I can't focus long enough to learn and apply something new. My hands sometimes feel like they never even touched a piano. I would try to practice, but the piano hates me, and I hate it.

There's something very wrong with me. Ever since I had this trouble in my *cough* life, I've been low and everything went down with it. I am just going through the motions. I'm not sure if there are ways to help going through them, while I can't solve the underlying problem.

with piano, it can be a love and hate relationship. sometimes you just have to hang in there and/or find something else refreshing to balance it out with. the good thing is that it is quite normal n so ur not alone. everyone goes thru period like that. i know i have on several occasions. hang in there. think about MUSIC, instead. tds

[go12_3]

I have been *taking a break* for months. it's not working, and I NEED to get myself together because classes have started and teacher wants me to join this competition and I don't want to let her down and I'm having a lesson with this professor this week.

Dear, dear, dear me!  Such pressures that you place upon yourself, db.  When you feel you *need* to get yourself together, then it has a snowball effect in your mind.  You see, the mind is a powerful thing whether we want to admit it or not.  And, it can let you down when circumstances allow you to feel bogged down with the *I don't want to let her down* because that is placing yourself to please everyone and trying to do everything to compensate yourself.  Perhaps, the NEED will get yourself together, db, and I know you CAN and MUST do it because that is the driving force that will MAKE you HAVE to move and DO something and that is what KEEPS you GOing not matter what happens. 

best wishes,

go12_3

[end]

Hi,

I'm so sorry to know things are not improving on your side.

I'd urge you to look for help, because you say it's been bad for months now. Did you talk to your parents? They're your best friends. I'm not talking only about the piano issue, but what you call the "underlying problem".

A violinist friend of mine (very talented) is under pressure too and it also made him cold towards the violin. The pressure of a competition is not doing you any good. Just say NO to your teacher. Explain you're not OK right now and that you'll wait for next opportunity. Perhaps this alone will get you better...

Don't suffer alone. Talk to your parents and perhaps look for professional help if you think you might be depressed (clinically depressed, I mean).

I hope you'll find your way to a happier self. Look for help.

[db05]

with piano, it can be a love and hate relationship. sometimes you just have to hang in there and/or find something else refreshing to balance it out with. the good thing is that it is quite normal n so ur not alone. everyone goes thru period like that. i know i have on several occasions. hang in there. think about MUSIC, instead. tds

Damn, I was hoping piano could balance out my love problem, but now it's also a problem. Nothing is refreshing anymore, I want to cry and after that I still feel as bad.

Music... it's like a prayer, it doesn't last forever. And merely appreciating music doesn't make me a musician, I need to be more proficient to play even the most simple stuff properly. Art in an escape from reality, from our own egos. So it's like acting. I was never good at acting.

go, what you said just left me dizzy, sorry.

Don't suffer alone. Talk to your parents and perhaps look for professional help if you think you might be depressed (clinically depressed, I mean).

My parents know but they're not much worried. I look fine on the outside and I still attend my classes, and they are VERY busy. And yes, I've been seeing a therapist since 2005, right about the time I started music. He's apparently out of ideas, giving me a cold shoulder while I write him about everything. Now I regret trusting him with the info, it seems like he doesn't take me seriously now.

[allthumbs]

And yes, I've been seeing a therapist since 2005, right about the time I started music. He's apparently out of ideas, giving me a cold shoulder while I write him about everything. Now I regret trusting him with the info, it seems like he doesn't take me seriously now.

It sounds like you are depressed, but you probably already know this if you are seeking treatment. If your therapist is no longer effective, then it's time to seek another therapist who may have a different approach.

The other avenue is to do some research as to other methods of treating depression. Perhaps changing your diet, getting more exercise or checking for any physical or physiological reason for your depression is in order.

You may have a chemical or hormonal imbalance causing this, who knows.

Don't give up!

allthumbs

[soitainly]

 Sorry to hear that you aren't progressing as well as you wish, and that you are depressed about it. Look at the reasons you are playing, is it because you REALLY love the music, or because you think people will like you or  pay you if you can play well enough. If you are playing out of some sense of obligation maybe music isn't for you. I imagine 90% of people that try an instrument quit when they realize how much work and perserverance will be involved. If you don't love the music then eventually you will burn out anyway.

 If you do love the music then maybe you just need a kick in the pants. You say you haven't been motivated for months. You really need to be dedicated to play music. Even if it is only for an hour a day, you really need to focus and realize it is going to take years before you are able to express your musical feelings while playing. Don't compare yourself with the gifted students who can instantly make great music. Think ahead and realize that you will be better after 10 years of consistant practice. The great thing about being a musician is that the more you learn, the more you tend to like music of all types.

 My next question is, are you playing the type of music you like. If you are really into pop music then maybe you should consider playing some of that. You don't have to give up on classical, but if that isn't where your heart is then rethink what you really want to play.

[dan101]

Perhaps something to keep in mind is that people who are excessively hard on themselves are very often a heck of a lot better than they think they are. Good luck and try to relax.

[dr. j]

It sounds like you are ready for and deserving of a break from the piano.  Maybe it is time to listen to music, attend some concerts, play a different instrument or go on vacation.  When you come back to your piano, hopefully, the desire to play and the joy you once found in playing will return. 

Dr. J - The More You Play the Better Your Day

[c4rem]

what exactly is ur problem? u keep 'ranting' without stating EXACTLY what ur problem is. pls is elaborate and we can all help u out.

[db05]

what exactly is ur problem? u keep 'ranting' without stating EXACTLY what ur problem is. pls is elaborate and we can all help u out.

Sorry but I don't know what exactly. I sat at the piano to practice again and it was fine all of a sudden.  I didn't do anything different than usual.

Look at the reasons you are playing, is it because you REALLY love the music, or because you think people will like you or  pay you if you can play well enough. If you are playing out of some sense of obligation maybe music isn't for you. I imagine 90% of people that try an instrument quit when they realize how much work and perserverance will be involved. If you don't love the music then eventually you will burn out anyway.

 If you do love the music then maybe you just need a kick in the pants. You say you haven't been motivated for months. You really need to be dedicated to play music. Even if it is only for an hour a day, you really need to focus and realize it is going to take years before you are able to express your musical feelings while playing.

More like a sense of obligation. I have no other commitments than my music study, and so my life depends on it. Do I love the music? I like it, but it's no obsession like omgiwannaplayallbeethovensonatasandchopinetudes... EVERY pursuit would require hard work and perseverance, music is nothing special, there's no escape from that reality. I'm sorry to say, most people do what they do out of a sense of obligation than anything. Sounds nice to be idealistic, but very few people get to do what they want in the end.

My next question is, are you playing the type of music you like. If you are really into pop music then maybe you should consider playing some of that. You don't have to give up on classical, but if that isn't where your heart is then rethink what you really want to play.

I'm not "really into" any type of music. They all seem to come short of what I want to hear, so I'm not sure. Instead of favorites, there are a number of "safe" composers.


Now I'm not practicing again, but for a different reason. I got sick. (AH1N1?!?!)
*cough, sniff*

AHHHHCCHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

[hanlat]

Try taking a break. 

Maybe you could practice for short periods of time, but more often.  I find it helpful if I practice my scales and my least favorite piece 15-30 minutes in the morning before school.  I finish the rest (30-45 min) in the afternoon.  It really breaks it up and I can stay focused longer.

And you're not the only one who has problems with songs they have been playing a long time.  I had been playing one song for a year and suddenly couldn't play one part at all.  Just keep practicing and try it hands seperatly.  You can always ask your teacher for help as well.

Good luck!

[angierc]

If you really still wanna play the piano, don't say you hate it and play it even if it's bad to hear.
If you really hate it, why do you still play it?
It is impossible that the piano hate you.
The matter is, you feel that you play the piano badly, and you blame the piano for it. You must be patient on practicing. Music doesn't come instantly, it needs days, months, and years to make your music sounds good.
When I was a little, I experienced the same thing as you. I played the piano badly, and I yelled on my own piano. But now, when I play it better, I love it very much.
Try your best not to hate your own playing, and the piano will not hate you.
 

[soitainly]

 Part of the problem is being is just being your age has all its other problems. Younger people between childhood and full maturity often complain of being bored and unmotivated. If you allow that to take over then you can go your whole life without any involvement in anything. If you do have some basic affection for music then stick with it, you can't just hang out doing nothing all day. I think that most people that stick with music end up enjoying it more and more as they get older. As you get to where you can play, its more matter of finding and discovering new music. It sure beats sitting around watching TV or thinking of what you are going to buy next.

 If you truly don't like music, then try something else. But don't become one of those people who will years later will say they wished they could play the piano, but quit because it was to much work. At some point it isn't so much work, and if you have the right attitude it's a true joy to play.

[jtc]

Heh... all aboard The Drama Llama!!  If perhaps you were unaware, you're being extremely melodramatic - so stop it.  First off, pianos don't hate anyone sir, they're inanimate objects.  That's stating the obvious of course, but it's an important point to make here because it's evident from your choice of wording that you feel your problem is, at least in part, due to an external source (e.g., the piano) actively hampering your pursuit of happiness.  Even though intellectually you know this is impossible, it's still evident your emotions beg to differ and have gotten the best of you.  The reality is: you are the only person working against you, especially with such sensationalistic, defeatest negative self-talk.  And I hate to tell ya, but no outside solution is will truly fix or ultimately improve your situation ... so you can continue trying different pianos, different days, or whatever superfluous environmental factors you can dream up, and they will continue to get you nowhere.  The problem is you, BUT the solution is you as well.  You are in complete control of this, even though you may not believe it.  The only reason you're in the situation you are right now is simply because you're actively fanning the flames of self-pity and despair, and thereby allowing it to dominant the manifestation of your reality.  To begin with, stop behaving in ways that undermine your own efforts and do nothing but intensify feelings of failure and hopelessness (such as making posts similar to the one of which I'm now responding).  Don't whine.  It doesn't help anything, it turns people off, reflects negatively against your personal character, and generally indicates a very low level of maturity.  Don't wait for something to happen - DO something to change it, stop inducing panic by entertaining emotionally-driven and utterly negative thinking.  If you don't notice change as quickly as you would like it, don't whine about it - don't give up - keep your chin up and continue working at it.  You WILL see improvement in time.  These changes happen sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but they ALWAYS materialize if you work for them.

[momopi]

Wow! I haven't been here for months.

One trend has not changed. db is still complaining about her playing.

Chill out. Maybe you just need a break. Like relationships, piano playing should make you happy, not feel another burden. If it does, take a break.   Go out with friends, try another hobby, get yourself busy so that you'll miss piano. Make yourself inspired to play, not required to play.

Like somebody else has stated, pianos are inanimate objects. It cannot hate anyone. Don't worry!



xoxo,
m

[db05]

Well, I haven't been on this thread for months.  So it's up to you to guess what I've been up to.

What I'm feeling now is not hating the piano, but missing the piano. 
This forum too...

[momopi]

Missing the piano? Sounds like good news! 


Btw, where was your post again where you posted the links of bernard's posts?
Could you pm it to me? Thanks!

<3

[db05]

Missing the piano? Sounds like good news! 


Btw, where was your post again where you posted the links of bernard's posts?
Could you pm it to me? Thanks!

<3

Well, sort of. I can still hardly play it.

You mean db05's thread? Right here --> https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php?topic=31923.0
You may search for m1469's index as well, it has lots more links.

[bestpianosoftware]

I think you need to give it a rest for awhile.  If you feel this way, then you may be cultivating something that will ruin you for the rest of your life and your career and dream of playing piano will be wasted.   

[ara9100]

I do not belive that you hate the piano or that it hates you, but rather that you have a great amount of pent up emptioon to release and that you cant find a suitable way to do do it. I had a problem like that a couple of years ago. and I took it upon myself to learn Rachmaninoffs Prelude in c sharp minor Op,2, After playing it i found that I realy did enjoy playing the piano ( i have never been able to play it again). If you keep on saying that you hate the piano and that you cant play well then you will only end  up making it worse. 90% of people quit playing the piano for that reason. I hope everything turns out ok.

Ara

[loonbohol]

Sorry to hear that you aren't progressing as well as you wish, and that you are depressed about it. Look at the reasons you are playing, is it because you REALLY love the music, or because you think people will like you or  pay you if you can play well enough. If you are playing out of some sense of obligation maybe music isn't for you. I imagine 90% of people that try an instrument quit when they realize how much work and perserverance will be involved. If you don't love the music then eventually you will burn out anyway.

 If you do love the music then maybe you just need a kick in the pants. You say you haven't been motivated for months. You really need to be dedicated to play music. Even if it is only for an hour a day, you really need to focus and realize it is going to take years before you are able to express your musical feelings while playing. Don't compare yourself with the gifted students who can instantly make great music. Think ahead and realize that you will be better after 10 years of consistant practice. The great thing about being a musician is that the more you learn, the more you tend to like music of all types.

 My next question is, are you playing the type of music you like. If you are really into pop music then maybe you should consider playing some of that. You don't have to give up on classical, but if that isn't where your heart is then rethink what you really want to play.

I have a message to those virtuoso pianists.
"If you are tired and bored of your skills. Think of the people who wants to be in your position."

Well, I haven't been on this thread for months.  So it's up to you to guess what I've been up to.

What I'm feeling now is not hating the piano, but missing the piano. 
This forum too...

me too.....

[johnthepianist]

I know that feeling of having put in all that practice only to feel like you have gotten nowhere. I had tried just about everything I could think of to improve my playing. It takes alot of practice I found a web blog that gives just a basic explanation of jazz piano. Whether your looking to learn jazz piano or not though the link on the website took me to a site where i found plenty of usefull instructional courses i could purchase for like 30 bucks that really helped improve my playing. Anyway the web blog is https://thestapler1222.wordpress.com/2009/08/29/jazz-piano-lessons/ if you would like to check it out.

[hansscherff]

Well, I haven't been on this thread for months.   So it's up to you to guess what I've been up to.

What I'm feeling now is not hating the piano, but missing the piano.  
This forum too...

Even though this thread is already months old, i got some 5 cents to share.

The piano can cheer u up as well as it can put you down, in that sense its just like the internet. I can watch funny video's on youtube for an hour and laugh my ass off, while if i wander around too much on forums i can get depressed by all the depressed people out there that 'know exactly what i am talking about and how i feel'. Be careful with spending too much time on the net, i've seen people go down by it...

This is a piano forum however! I know the feeling that nothing seems to come out of your fingers, no piece seems to suit you, all of your regular repertoire seems to be gone from your fingers. I was never able to find a solution for that (luckily those times were only temporary) untill a few months ago. What worked for me, is to forget all that standard virtuosic repertoire for a while. Don't focus on hard music that you want to play, focus on music that is easy to play, but influences your mood because of the music, instead of how well you can play it. Find your enjoyment in 'easy' (as far as they exist) pieces that you can really make your own.

Simple but effective pieces like that are schumann's kinderszenen (in the standard repertoire), but Bortkiewicz's 'Aus Andersens Marchen' really gave me something to enjoy for every mood. No flashy melodramatic pieces, just pieces that can get you back on earth, making you enjoy the music and therefore enjoy playing the piano.

[loonbohol]

My hands hates me.

[k4kuz0]

Although emotional issues aren't my forté whenever i am learning something that is difficult, whether i have learnt it before or not... I always play something that i know, something that i CAN play, no matter how simple... To remind myself that i am a pianist and that i am capable of learning because i have done it before

Of course, i can tell by the posts that there underlying problems that my limited knowledge will NOT delve into... but that's my input

Best of luck xx

[reney75]

Before I began a new piece, I usually listen it from a CD that was perform by any famous Pianist.  That usually inspire me to play well.  I love the Romantic period, and I usually put all my emotions into it--happy, sad and sometimes loneliness...piano is my best friend who listens.  I think you have to respect it before trying to love it.

[redragon]

Go back to your piano. Drop all of your music, and find something new.