In the first part there are some rhythmic errors/misreadings/ that you might want to correct:
For instance
M. 1: keep the rests long enough
M. 9: the second half is not rhythmically correct. That bass d is on the last count and not before it. The two 16ths in the right hand need to appear first. But that might be just a slip because in the recapitulation it's much better.
M. 11 the relation between the double dotted quarter and the 32nds is not entirely correct.
The 32nds after the dotted eighths are often a bit sloppy.
It might be a subject of discussion if the slurs actually need to end before the bar lines, respectively before the next count. There are different opinions about this. I think they need to be completevely led until the following measure/count, for instance from M.3 to 4. Even if you decide to let the slurs end before the bar line/count, it should not affect the rhythm. As it is now, you do it sometimes like this, sometimes like that. And I often hear a short hesitation at these spots. I think it should be consistent throughout the piece.
As you play it for an audition I would give it a few slow practice sessions with a metronome.
Aside from this I think you are beginning to capture the atmosphere of the piece quite well, maybe you need to be more convinced of it to add the finishing touch.
Topic: Schumann: Vogel als prophet