I had to bring this thread back from the dead. I have been thinking over things a great deal and have some thoughts on this subject to share (atleast for now, maybe I will remove it later). I don't know if I can explain it all correctly or not, but I will sure try.
I realise it is difficult to understand how some of the treatments I mentioned above could be called for. I suppose the whole reason I asked in the first place is because I have had some deep questions as a result of having gone through it. This is what I have come to realise (for now anyway) as a result of being able to post in this thread...
I think that everything that I experienced was done for a reason, and with that, a reason that none of my teachers are obligated to devuldge to me. Simply because it is not their job. It is their job to offer what they can, and mine to learn.
My most influential teacher knew when to push and when to pull. I many times felt as though he were reading my mind (maybe he was :-/). But, when I first started with him, I could barely even talk to him because I was so shy. I barely talked to anybody. During the course of my first year as his student, I was filled with emense confusion and felt totally in over my head (which I was). This forced me to find my bearings, and to grow as an individual. It also forced me to dive head long into the repertoire that I was studying at the time.
As Bernhard mentioned above, sometimes students have fixed ideas about what lessons are going to be like. I definitely had some going into my time as my teachers student. After a couple of meetings however, I had absolutely no idea what to expect in my next lesson. To be quite honest, this was intriguing for me, and kept me well-prepared musically, alert, and on my toes. Within the first year, I was able to open up in ways that I never dared before. There is a lot to be said for that.
This teacher did not treat every student this way, or atleast not to the same extent. I think that there were different needs. I needed somebody who could outsmart me, outplay me, yet be sensitive enough to help me find my way, without giving me all the answers. For me, if I do not come to realize something in my heart, it will hold little meaning.
If he were to be giving me compliments all the time, I really don't know that I would have believed it. Psycological games almost seemed necessary in order for him to get me to grow into realising what I needed to realise, without it being too obvious.
On a practical note, yes Swan, let the harshness come from the public. But, if that's the only harshness I had ever learned to deal with, I would have quit, no doubt about it. I am EXTREMELY sensitive. My teacher knew this about me, and while I have not lost that sensitivity, I have learned how to move on when the going gets rough (though it is not always easy). The thing is, a good teacher will teach a student how to fend for themselves, how to learn on their own, and how to be self-sufficient. I will not always have him in my life to pick up the pieces should somebody crush my fragile ego.
As far as the motivation part of my initial posting, it is because I am quite motivated (and especially then). I made it quite clear to my teacher what I wanted, and he was honest with me in return. No matter what, I plan to not only be playing for the rest of my life, but practicing, learning, improving. Who will constantly look over my shoulder to make sure it is all going well? Me. I have to be okay with that ultimately.
If my teacher taught me in such a way that made me relient on him, for feedback, pick-me-ups, inspiration, etc etc, I am dead in the water. That isn't even what I really want. Yes, deep down I want somebody to tell me everything I have wanted to hear, everything I think I need to hear, but I know now that ultimately it must come from within. I believe it is the job of the teacher to pave the way for this, and one might say it must take whatever it takes. He promised me that he would do whatever he could to help me towards my goal, and this is the only thing he ever promised.
There are no guarantees in this life, including in the world of piano. Why should a teacher act as though there are? This is a disservice to the student.
I don't know what kind of treatment is right or wrong in the pursuit of a students growth. But, as Bernhard has eluded to in postings and threads before, a teacher is not teaching just music and piano. A piano teacher needs to deal with the person as a whole.
That's all for now, thanks for reading...
m1469