I need your guys' help.
I've been playing piano for about 11 years now. Up until now, I've played RCM. I was forced into it at a very young age and I've been doing it up until about the start of 2010, where I finally convinced my mom to let me quit RCM and move on.
I love playing the piano, but RCM I cannot stand. I hate classical music (at least the selection that RCM provides) and I despise it and it makes me want to kill myself being forced to play it. But, I love jazz. I want to learn how to improvise and play jazz. I struggled and tried to play jazz instead of RCM for about 5 months after I quit RCM. But my schoolwork and such got in the way, so I took some time off lessons.
It has now been about 3 months since I've last played piano and I am faced with a choice. I can either go back and finish RCM (I quit at the start of grade 9, so I would have t complete grade 9 and 10), or I can pursue jazz. I really love jazz, I feel like I've wasted my life not playing it, but I am under constant pressure from my mom to complete RCM. I hate RCM, and I feel extremely depressed when I am forced to play it, but at the same time, I feel as though it might be a waste to go all the way to grade 9 and quit.
Still, I have quit RCM before, and returned to it, and quit it yet again. I always am motivated to finish the last grades so that I can finally pass grade 10. About 2 weeks later, that motivation is replaced by regret, depression and frustration. And then I quit. And later, I get that same motivation to just finish it. Its a vicious cycle.
I am now faced with a choice. I have not much time left for piano, since I'm going to graduate high school soon and move onto university where I suspect I won't have as much time for piano. What should I do? Finish up RCM and THEN pursue jazz? Or just give up on RCM? I've wrestled with this question for the past year and whenever I think about it, I get depressed. This is a serious issue for me and I need opinions from those who have been in the same boat as me. Was it worth it to pass grade 10? or was it not?