Back to basics....returning to piano after 'quitting' as a teenager

[mellipop]

Hi all,

I'm new to the forum and have recently taken up the piano again after over 7 years of no music. I'm feeling rather 'overwhelmed' at the moment as I'm getting frustrated at myself for not being able to just remember everything I worked so hard for all those years ago.

My mum is a flute teacher and an amazing musician but I wasn't overly inspired as a child to chase the life of music. I had a really good ear and as a complete introvert, I loved the piano and tinkering away.
My mum believed in her kids learning an instrument from someone other than herself, so whilst she was really encouraging and had great practice techniques and advise, I actually became really detached from what I was doing because my piano teacher and I did not have a connection at all.
When I was 16 and preparing for my 5th grade AMEB exam, I 'quit' and just chucked it in. I didn't really believe I was giving it up forever, but I wasn't coping with the pressure that I was putting on myself, the pressure I was getting from my teacher and the pressure of being the daughter of a music teacher, music examiner and talented musician.

Obviously, as an adult now, I somewhat regret my decision but also acknowledge at the time, I made the decision that felt right to me. When I moved out of home and couldn't afford a piano or lessons so it just sort of ...disappeared from my life.

So - here I am. Just gone 25 and preparing for my 4th grade AMEB exam.

Frustrating things for me are:
1. Technique. I'm finding my left hand to be really weak. I didn't realise I was playing with stretched fingers and not curled so I'm focussing on correcting it.
2. Practice. I work full-time so have struggled to fit in practice. I sometimes can sit down for 2 hours and go through everything and some days I go without practicing at all..and then freaking out that I haven't sat at the piano for a couple of days....
3. Feeling a bit of the old 'self pressure' - wanting to immerse in the music world and work toward becoming a music teacher but feeling like it's so far away.

Gee, this is a long post!

Is anyone in the same boat or does anyone have any advise?

[keyboardclass]

Congratulations!  The fingers shouldn't be curled.  I don't know how your mum plays flute but there you also have a choice.  The fingers should be the same shape (curved) as they are hanging at your side.  Don't shape your hand - that'll happen naturally as depress keys.  Get your mum to teach you interpretation.

[musicmentee]

Hey mellipop,

I'm returning to the piano as well! I played for a while starting when I was about 7 years old, but also stopped taking lessons around the age of 15-16. Didn't practice a whole lot back then, probably just around 30 min a day. I've played sparing since then, but I didn't learn any new pieces until recently. I'm 22 now and have been taking lessons again for about 3 months, and it's been a awesome so far. For me personally, I think I just lacked a true appreciation for music when I was younger, and I never really loved classical music. Now, I feel bummed out if I have to miss just a day of practice from being too busy!

Prior to today, I've been lurking on piano street for a little while and have found some great advice in the forums, especially the older posts by bernhard. I would definitely recommend checking out what he has to say. He has a wealth of knowledge and tips for just about everything piano related. I found his response to this post particularly helpful. His response contains links to a bunch of his other posts about useful practicing techniques.

https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php?topic=12590.0

Hope that helps!

[bbush]

Welcome, Mellipop!

I, too, have returned to piano lessons after a long "break" (much longer than yours) and empathize with your feelings of frustration about having to make up so much lost ground!  But, really, it comes back quicker than you might imagine.  And with your older ears, which have at least subconsciously absorbed and processed more music over the years, you'll actually progress much farther as well as faster than you might now believe.

I also agree with musicmentee that you can find some great advice, here, on the Forum, and Bernard's is a fine example.  One of the things he's shared are lists of pieces that are very musical but easier to play than the pieces you may be wishing you could play right away.  And it's important to get you playing and feeling good about it!

I found Burgmuller's Op. 100 studies very encouraging, since they got my weakened hands moving, again, while I was making music, as compared to feeling I was just grinding through exercises.  If you join as a Gold member (that is, pay a small monthly fee), you can print them from here, after you click on the "piano music" tab on the top-of-page bar.  I happen to have an old Schirmer book that might be available elsewhere: "Vol.500, Burgmuller Op.100 Twenty-Five Easy and Progressive Studies for the piano - Complete 85 cents" (pretty amazing price, by today's standards)

One other thing:  I think it's important not to let days go by without touching the piano!  What got me into trouble was letting that time pile up while I lost technique - a perishable commodity.  Even with how busy you are, try to do a little playing each day to keep the neural-mechanical (brain-finger) connection alive.

Good Luck,
Bruce

[mellipop]

Thank you so much - I've found each of your replies both helpful and very encouraging!

[angelina_serra]

Hi folks.  I am also a returning pianist.  In addition to the regular frustration of returning to play after a long time I have excessive self criticism which as you can imagine is debilitating.  I really don't know how to stop it.  When I realize I am making too many mistakes, or I am not progressing fast enough I just want to quit.  and this is not very encouraging to practice again.  Please advice.  I do like music, and I wish it would be a relaxing activity but it is not.   Maybe it is easier to practice when one is young.  I am having a harder time concentrating.....

The current pieces I am practicing are Claire de Lune and Rachmaninov's Op 32 no 12.

I have had a teacher for the past year or so. 

[dynamobt]

I am also a year into returning to the piano after a long hiatus.  I took lessons as a kid.  I don't remember that I got that far.  But far enough to hold a chuch job during High School.  Then, I just stopped playing.  I didn't touch a piano for years.  Years and years.  But,I'm back now.  And doing it for my own reasons not my parents' reasons.  And that has made all the difference for me.  Give yourself a break if you are juggling work and family and the piano.  I'm not juggling work as I'm retired.  But, it's still hard to find regular time to practice and also be satisfied with my progress as I balance other adult responsibilities.  This time around, enjoy your music!!!!  Be kind to yourself.  Heck, yes you are going to make mistakes and sometimes many mistakes!  Don't beat yourself up over them.  You will improve if you stick to it!!

[outin]

Hi folks.  I am also a returning pianist.  In addition to the regular frustration of returning to play after a long time I have excessive self criticism which as you can imagine is debilitating.  I really don't know how to stop it.  When I realize I am making too many mistakes, or I am not progressing fast enough I just want to quit.  and this is not very encouraging to practice again.  Please advice.  I do like music, and I wish it would be a relaxing activity but it is not.   Maybe it is easier to practice when one is young.  I am having a harder time concentrating.....

Welcome!
I am also someone who started again after about 3 decades. And what you say about self criticism is exactly what I suffer from. I wanted a demanding teacher and I wouldn't give her up. But having one means that in addition to the things I myself realize are wrong or missing in my playing, I get all the suggestions from her about technique and posture. Every lesson brings on something I need to correct... It really seems overwhelming often, added with my inborn problems with concentrating on routines and memory issues and work stress.

I don't have really great advice to you...but first, don't even consider quitting again! I sometimes play with the thought, but never seriously. After all I have struggled for 2 years already. There are times when it feels easier. I have also started recording myself more, just to force myself to play through mistakes and imperfections and listen to my own playing even if I hate what I hear. I also try to take time sometimes just to play my older pieces without thinking about technique, instead just trying to enjoy producing music, even though it is quite hard for me to do so. Also I try to accept that the goals are further away than what I originally thought...

[bronnestam]

Hi folks.  I am also a returning pianist.  In addition to the regular frustration of returning to play after a long time I have excessive self criticism which as you can imagine is debilitating.  I really don't know how to stop it.  When I realize I am making too many mistakes, or I am not progressing fast enough I just want to quit.  and this is not very encouraging to practice again.  Please advice.  I do like music, and I wish it would be a relaxing activity but it is not.   Maybe it is easier to practice when one is young.  I am having a harder time concentrating.....

The current pieces I am practicing are Claire de Lune and Rachmaninov's Op 32 no 12.

I have had a teacher for the past year or so. 

I had the same problem as you for years and years and years. I made no progress in 25 years, until last year when I really decided to to something about it and analyze what was wrong.

1. I loved to play the piano but I hated practicing and found it terribly boring
2. I seemed not to be able to learn anything new. Which is strange as I am a good learner in many other aspects of life, and I UNDERSTAND music well, I have a good ear. But I just got angry and frustrated with myself and many times I quit practicing in anger and decided that listening to a CD is far less painful ...

I learned how to resolve this from my dog. Yes, MY DOG. Because he is also a very good learner, but there are som strict rules to follow here, and if you break them you will not get any results.

First, the dog needs encouragement ALL THE TIME. If you start something new, praise him. Praise him for everything he does. Give him treats. Praise him even more. Your goal is not that the dog should do a full routine perfectly here. Your goal is to make him like the situation and feel confident.
Second, your ambitions AT THE MOMENT must be very, very low. You have your final goal, yes. But you must take this in small, small steps, so small that the dog almost certainly will succeed. You want him to sit? Give him a treat for looking at you. Give him a treat for every little movement he makes. He will try harder and harder to get his next treat, and he will see that action pays off. So he will eagerly try whatever he can come up with. Every movement in the right direction is a correct movement. First sign of an intention in the right direction is correct. Reward him. He will learn how to sit in a few minutes and he will have fun all the way. Next time it's time for training, he will be there, wagging his tail, and being extremely concentrated.

Now, it's easier to train yourself than it is to train a dog. All you have to do is giving yourself some mental credit every time you do something right, every time you make some kind of progress. Never mind how small, progress is progress. Don't set up goals for your practicing sessions, just focus on your progress. IGNORE YOUR MISTAKES. They are just progress-to-come-later. And when you leave the piano, always make a short mental summary on what you just learned. Maybe your learned a new chord. Maybe you memorized yet half a bar. Everything counts. You will always find something. Maybe it did not sound as good as yesterday - well, forget about yesterday, did you make something better when you ended your session, compared to when you started?

I believe many people think you will make no progress if you lower your ambitions this much. I can tell you, from own experience, that this is not true. By changing my mindset and lower my ambitions I started to make progress like never before. I'm learning pieces that were far beyond my horizon just a year ago, and I LOVE TO PRACTICE. I leave the piano with positive feelings and so I long for going back. That is the whole key to it.   

[toby1]

Turning 29 soon and back now for a year? Was it really that long back?

Loving it though. I had to significantly limit my practice and give up my teacher over the last 3 months due to work demands but I'm going to becoming back to lessons in the next month. I'll be practicing for an AMEB exam too.

When I first came back I felt like I'd had brain damage. I'd sit at the piano and remember there were these things I used to be able to do but I was completely incapable of playing with the accuracy, sensitivity and control I used to have. It was immensely frustrating.

One thing that really motivated me was research I'd read about learning that showed positive attitude and hard work account for more than native talent. Well that combined with effective learning strategies.

Given your time constraints you will want to make the most of your practice sessions if you want to improve, but you also have to have fun. I spent my time away from my teacher only occasionally working on my exam pieces I started learning. When I did play I often played things that were well within my ability range and that I could almost site read just for the sake of playing. If you let it, playing the piano can be an incredibly fun way to spend your time.

One thing that Will help you is to try and take where you are now as your starting place. You Can improve with practice, anyone can. If your improvement rate is limited by your available time then be proud of each increment you earn. You're the one doing the work and those successes come even with the limitations that are placed on you by time and circumstance. You just have to make the most of the opportunities you have available to you with where you are in your life right now.

Keep on trucking. One day you'll look back and go hey, I remember I really struggled with that bit, now I'm getting it under my fingers. Remember the positives and to improve most effectively, spend more time working on the bits you find hardest than the things you already know.

To have fun though, remember to spend some time playing things you enjoy for fun or you can do occasionally. You need that too otherwise what's meant to be fun feels like a chore rather than a joy. I changed a piece for my exams to something a little more jazzy that suits my temperament better and I spent most time I did spend on my exam pieces working on that.

Also we all have nights when we can't be stuffed practicing. Btw do you have a goal with your piano? Is it to be a super sweet hobby or do you want to be a music teacher or a pro performer? If it's as a hobby then missing the odd day isn't a big deal. If it's to be a pro performer then you might want to put aside time specifically for music practice each week. 10 mins a day is better than 70 minutes in one solid block each week.

Anyways happy playing, it is a blast

[kittyboo]

After many years of me wanting a piano and lessons, I finally got my wish when I was 13 years old.  I found a teacher through the schhool district's community education program.  My teacher both through that program and independently.  The school district allowed her to conduct all lessons at her house.  But still, near the end of the school year she told me she was quitting the community education program, but would continue teaching independently.  If I wanted to continue with her, the lessons would be 45 minutes a week instead of 30, I would need to keep my fingernails short enough to not click on the keys, and I would have to participate in recitals.  That didn't sound good to me.  I was also hating the Edna Mae Burnam method.  (I think I got partway through book four or book five of that six-book series.). I stayed with the community education classes and the learning stopped.  Then I quit lessons altogether and just played off and on (mostly off) for years.

Now I'm 45 and have tried method books like volumes 2 and 3 of Schaum's Adult Piano Course ans others.  I can't stay motivated to work through any of them.  What I'm going to do is play what I like.  I'm going to do the following:

Hanon
Schaum's Fingerpower series
Scales, arpeggios, etc.
Studies by Burgmuller
Other studies appropriate for my level
Some Bach that's more intermediate
Intermediate level music by composers who compose for the music education market

Someday I hope to play a lot of Bach, Debussy, and Tchaikovsky, and any Rachmaninoff that isn't too big for female hands.