Or is it a matter of fact that all musicians are like that?

[delark]

I quit playing piano because of teachers behavior twice.
Once, i was kicked from a list of players ( i was 4th year by that time),that were gonna perform as interlude,where the main attraction were the last year players (6th year), I realized ive been kicked the moment i arrived,so i looked like a fool with the smokin on.
Some guy who worked at the conservatory told my teacher it was a consensus betwen last year teachers decisions that put me out of the list, i had been practicing 5 months on the chopins prelude 16 to this moment. My teacher was furious but i was dissapointed with everyone and with the repertoire last year players gave, it was flawless but very, very mediocre.
Then the second time i quit studing, was when i was promised an "international scholarship" from my teacher wich is/was my very good friend and confident, but 6 months later after tireless practicing and ,in my point of view a very outstanding repertoire, i found my self as some kind of puppet,like i were some kind of Ad, my teacher got recognition as well as more students,and when i asked him about the scholarship he acted reluctant to it.
I were offered to recieve classes by a very well known piano teacher, but my teacher said no,in that moment I realized i wasnt going anywhere.
It has been a couple of years since that and i thought i disliked music at all. a couple af months before i realized what was the reason i quited piano, in this country (i dont live in the US) people tend to be pretentious and selfish...... or is it a matter of fact that all musicians (artists) are like that?
Indeed i didnt, ever recieve a good review from any teacher but my own teacher and classmates, this made me doubt about my abilities in the piano, ive always thought that they told me i was good because of kindness. well i would never know. I must say my self confidence went to the floor.

What do you think?
How are you as a teacher?
Do you think is common behavior between musicians?

[soitainly]

 I looks like you need to develop a thicker skin, regardless if it's from musicians actions or not. I would be upset if I practiced for months for a recital and was told on the day that I wouldn't be allowed to perform, but it wouldn't impact whether I like music or not. As far as scholorship help, either the teacher wasn't as influential as he thought, or maybe you didn't progress as much as he thought you would. Either way, we are going to recieve setbacks in life. It's not only musicians, people are going to be in your way no matter what you do. If you really want something, then you have to develop an ability to fight through the detractors.

 I don't know if you are pursuing music as a career or as just something you love doing. You have to have good self awareness of your talent if you are thinking of music as a profession, only the best of the best will have even an outside shot at being succesful. If you are playing music for the love of it, then you have to learn to not let other people demotivate you. Either way, you have to have an unwaivering love of music to stick with it. Most musicians dream of performing and recieving recognition form their efforts, but underneath all that we have to love playing. We won't always get praise from our hard work and passion, the drive has to come from within.

[delark]

 thank you soitainly   

[m1469]

Individuals either share a musical focus and resonance, or they don't.  I prefer the former.

[countrymath]

Wich country are we talking about?

[lostinidlewonder]

Once, i was kicked from a list of players ( i was 4th year by that time),that were gonna perform as interlude,where the main attraction were the last year players (6th year), I realized ive been kicked the moment i arrived,so i looked like a fool with the smokin on.

I think here you where treated very unfairly and insensitively if you where told you will perform and then they let you know when you turn up that they don't need you. You may need to also know who organizes performance events. You need to get the Ok from these people that you are performing not anyone else otherwise you can set yourself up for problems like this.

Some guy who worked at the conservatory told my teacher it was a consensus betwen last year teachers decisions that put me out of the list, i had been practicing 5 months on the chopins prelude 16 to this moment.

This still doesn't explain why there was zero notice that you didn't have to perform. To me this performance event sounds very ineffectively managed and you should be happy not to be a part of such things. Any music teacher will appreciate that performance is a very difficult thing to do for anyone, it provides a lot of pressure and to disrespect this is to do things like they did with you, so it just goes to show how little respect and understanding they have for the art of performance. But do you really expect anything different from an educational institution? There is just no time for the individual and you have to deal with people pretending to be able to manage events because the subjects they deal with have no authoritave voice. Don't let this crush your musical aspirations which should have no connection with the success you have in any institution.

Then the second time i quit studing, was when i was promised an "international scholarship" from my teacher wich is/was my very good friend and confident, but 6 months later after tireless practicing and ,in my point of view a very outstanding repertoire, i found my self as some kind of puppet,like i were some kind of Ad, my teacher got recognition as well as more students,and when i asked him about the scholarship he acted reluctant to it.
I were offered to recieve classes by a very well known piano teacher, but my teacher said no,in that moment I realized i wasnt going anywhere.

This sounds strange. What where the reasons for not going to study with this well known teacher? Obviously you discussed this with your teacher who is also your very good friend. If they where your good friend they should have encouraged you to learn with this recognized teacher at the same time offering you to maintain lessons with them! It just doesn't make sense if your friend is a good teacher.

You also should have more confidence to know what you want, windows of opportunity only open for a moment then they may never open again! You take all the opportunities that you get, even if it means more work, change your life to make it happen, you will never grow in life if you don't. You need to care about where you go and no one is going to take you there, you need to forge your own pathways, when you get huge opportunities like to study with a respected teacher then you must take this, give everything else up and go for it you simply won't ever regret it even if it ends in failure, stay aware of opportunities in your life too often we sit on our ass too long and it passes us by, you must grasp the opportunity immediately even if it scares you.

.... people tend to be pretentious and selfish...... or is it a matter of fact that all musicians (artists) are like that?
Indeed i didnt, ever recieve a good review from any teacher but my own teacher and classmates, this made me doubt about my abilities in the piano, ive always thought that they told me i was good because of kindness. well i would never know. I must say my self confidence went to the floor.

What do you think?
How are you as a teacher?
Do you think is common behavior between musicians?

The competitive nature of music can be very destructive and full of these sorts of things. Music is a gift to be shared among people, you should be happy to listen to people play, it should effect you for the good! But you see in institutions and competitions sometimes the people literally hate each other, they hate to hear a good performance, they love to hear the mistakes, they want each other to lose!

I have experienced this destructive thinking in many ways, from winning most competitions I entered during my childhood I noticed the jealousy of other students and teachers, annoyance when I always was the winner. Then the few times I did not get first place I felt really bad and angry that the other person beat me and I didn't play as well. What a terrible way to think. After winning many competition you can get a big head, I use to go to all these competitions and enjoy it when the other competitors looked at me from a distance or the few who would come and asked me what I was playing. You start feeling bigger than the rest, like they are small fish and you are the shark coming to eat them all up. It just isn't a healthy way of relating to others but I think necessary if you want to win.

In my music lessons there is no competition, I refuse to let it exist and try to encourage all my students not to perceive musical events via competition (often I get some students telling me of a youtube video they saw and how good it was and they could never do that etc). When I taught identical twins I refused to teach them the same pieces (generally I do not let any siblings learn the same pieces but competition between parents/children is sometimes extremely healthy!). Music should be enjoyable and you should always learn something from it, when this is what music is about there is no negative feelings. The more you learn about music the more you realize that it is so wide and various, it is for all people, not just professionals, not just experts who play the most demanding works or for the clever student who can play their pieces at a tip top standard. Enjoy your own musical journey, it is your own a seed that will grow best with your love for music.

[jesc]

I might be jumping to conclusions but...

After that experience, if it crossed your mind to choose another field, there is a fact of life you need to know.

This type of behavior is not confined to music/artists. Most of the time, people just learn to adapt and live/survive in a hostile environment. But don't let this convince you that life is hell everywhere, sometimes one can get lucky. 

[dcstudio]

I had a bad time in music school too.  Now most of the monster players I went to school with work in corporate America, and I make a living as a musician. If you are meant to do this--it is what you will do.