teacher's one-liners

[geze]

Do any of your teachers or ex teachers have any one-liners which have either been "words of musical wisdom", funny or idiosyncratic or all three? And do you teachers have one-liners like such?

Here are ones from my old teacher

"Practice time is thinking time not playing time"
"What you are not above you can't play"
"There is a speed in which anything can be played accurately"
"Speed is not a vertue, accuracy is"
My favourite one (as a part time maths tutor) 100% effort equals 100% result and 90% effort does not equal 90
% result
"Play EXACTLY what is written"
Any more?

[mike_lang]

"You see that little girl - [Chopin 10/2]'s easy for her!"
-E. del Rosario

"It's not your fault, it's not your fault . . . "
-E. del Rosario (during my audition for him)

"6/8 time is bisexual."
-E. Naoumoff

"You cannot play louder than loud."
-E. Naoumoff

"Don't let your thumb diphthong."
-R. Sloan

"Inconsistent fingering is a leading contributor to memory lapses."
-R. Sloan

"Begin each day as though it is the first day you are learning the piece."
-K. Mardirossian

"Learn to . . . [distinguish between sfz, carrot accent, wedge accent; make this or that type of vibrato, etc. . . and don't stop working until you've done it]"
-K. Mardirossian

"Sometimes you don't have enough time to a learn a new style the normal way, so you have to do it by osmosis."
-M. Kaplan (directing a student with an impending recital to play with seven or eight different recordings to take in the style of Fauré's first violin sonata)

"Keep a cool head."
-M. Fuks

"How much time do you spend singing when you practice?"
-M. Fuks

"I just forgot how much *** this piece kicks!"
-J. Stern (on the Brahms violin concerto)

"The number one problem with pianists today is lack of [musical] intention."
-A. Cohen

more to come . . .

[naumdar]

Conductor line but I have to share:

"Conducting this orchestra is like trying to walk a jellyfish with an elastic leash..."

-B. Nolan, PhD

[countrymath]

"I want you to take out your clothes. This will make you lighter and will make you feel the nature aroumd you".

[mike_lang]

"I want you to take out your clothes. This will make you lighter and will make you feel the nature aroumd you".

Umm . . .

[lostinidlewonder]

"I want you to take out your clothes. This will make you lighter and will make you feel the nature aroumd you".

Sounds like you had lessons with Victor Makarov. I wonder how you "take out" your clothes, with a Makarov gun or something, that would be better than using the teacher.

"You have to play the music, don't let the music play you."
Roger Woodward.

[mike_lang]

"You have to play the music, don't let the music play you."
Roger Woodward.

I love this quote, because it displays how teachers can say contradictory things, and be in total agreement.  We are so often told to be the channel for the music, as interpreters, and here, Mr. Woodward says what on the surface appears to oppose that, but is actually addressing another point - musical intention.

The reason I say this is because it brings up the point that whenever we hear "one-liners," we should ask what the quoted person really meant, before replying.  Even if at first, we disagree, we may find that in reality, we don't, except in semantics.

I bring this up because of the ongoing thread "Theory of technique . . . "

Mike

[delark]

Que mierda se supone que estas tocando!!!!!
what the f*ck do you think you are playing!!!!
-Paredes

He always shouted that at the middle of exams, i miss those days, he was a terriffic teacher but a little angry.

Hope he never read this xDDD

[geze]

"No girlfriends/going out with mates.....just practice"

[jzp93]

My son's teacher's one liners. All very nicely
sarcastically said in her soft voice w a very distinct
Russian accent.

Uh huuuh
Ummmm-hmmmm
You said you practiced?
What?!!?
Are you sure?, um-hmm think.
Huuuuh-Huuuuh-Huuuuh
Don't play like you're made of wood "in Russian accent"
Noodle fingers plz.
Reaaaally???
What happened? You play like boom boom boom no feelings
Whaaaa-at???Jake!
 Good boy!
Good joking!
Wow, strong muscles I like it.
Pu-leey with your heaarrrt, not like BAM BAM, not scary
You can do it, right? Pat on the head.
Catches my sons hand midair,count 123,and throws
his hand back down.
Starts counting while slapping her hand on my sons
arm then realize its affecting his play so continued
the slapping in his back instead.