Now that I have been playing for a few months and had a couple of lessons, I am getting really annoyed with my head. My ability to memorize things has never been very good, but I have done quite well in life by compensating with my other intellectual skills.
But with piano playing it's difficult: I don't sight read well enough yet to play new pieces fluently from the scores. It's easy for me to learn the rhytm and musical side of the pieces, but I use a lot of time to learn the notes and fingerings. I usually play the piece nicely after a few sessions. But even after playing it for 30 or more times I'm still totally lost if I don't follow the score. And these are short pieces, not works of many pages. It's very typical that when I need to play repeated sections they are perfect the first time and the second time I just forget everything because I "forget" to follow the score.
I think I've noticed this now because when I get pieces from my teacher I practice them a lot more than I would with pieces I take on myself. Feels silly to go to the lesson unprepared. Usually my playing sounds nice for a while until I forget something again and get totally lost. Also some days everything is very easy and other days I can't remember something I thought was completely learned. I try to follow the fingerings properly and sometimes just to remember those seems to overload my memory capasity

Also it's annoying that something I do remember and play from memory is completely forgotten if I don't touch it for a week.
The only pieces that I seem to remember are the difficult ones where I actually have to work hard to be able to play them in the first place. So I'm not sure whether this is also a problem of concentration and motivation? I just don't want to jump into pieces that are technically difficult too soon, so I think I need to work on the easier ones.
My hand technique is getting better all the time, but I feel my mind cannot follow. I have started to wonder if a naturally good memory is actually a requirement to fluent piano playing? I might have had this same problem when I was a kid, but those days I didn't really practice, so I can't tell whether that could have been the main reason of not advancing better...
With time I'm sure my sight reading will get better but I'm so damn frustrated with the memory issues. I wonder if memorizing gets any easier and more reliable with practice?
Just needed to vent a little... maybe I should not try to practice seriously after a long day at work.