hey sunshine, my daughter is learning this too....so here is my 2 cents,,not a bad playing i enjoyed it very much. The second part, you are getting a bit too excited, a slight rubato is ok but you are the artist, you can do what ever you like as long as it wthin a certain time frame. I am sure you have seen the original player a Korean musician. Well, we have to balnce between his interpretation and yours. This is the hardest part in the modern society.-interpretation.
PS, Check your LH on the second part, perhaps a bit of mental relazation is required. Looking forward to your next version.....
John