One should also remember that the brain of a 10 year old works differently than a brain of a 40 year old. The older you get the more things your brain has learned to do on "autopilot" (obviously depends a lot on how you have used your brain during the years) and going against it may require special techniques.
I'm not talking about the type of autopilot that allows you to do a completely unfamiliar cross-rhythm straight off with no planning. I'm talking about gearing your practise towards CREATING two individual autopilots for simple execution of each separate hand and then blending them. It's not the same thing as just having a prelearned skill and using it. If that's not yet possible for one hand at a time, the student is not ready to attempt cross-rhythms.
Yes, something may have worked for you and it may have worked for all of your students or if it didn't you may have decided that they just don't have talent. But when something does not work there may be other ways that do work no matter how weird and insane they may seem to an average person.
I have more methods than I could list here and do not give up on people who don't get things. However, from experience, attempting to get a compound rhythm has been the single least effective tactic I have tried. It makes the student think the whole thing is complicated and it makes the way they try to move all the more complicated. It actively hinders them from getting to a simple flow, unless you are very careful to make this aspect one of the lesser goals. When a student cannot get it, physical flow is always missing. If they use the mathematical approach in the wrong way, this can get actively worsened.
For me learning to do the simple 2-3 or 3-4 was not so much about learning to do something, but teaching my brain to let go of something that is very deeply ingrained in there. My brain has a very deep rooted need for "symmetry". I have never had any trouble keeping a steady pulse, what is very difficult is to let go of the strict rhythm. Adding the physical execution made it difficult to play polyrhythms and to be able to do that I needed to "dissect" the task. This is why mathematical analysis and counting worked. It was needed to force my brain to understand that things must be done in "wrong way" and let go of the control it wanted to have to stop the hands and fingers doing what it considered wrong.
I see where you're coming from, but I'd reframe that. In 3/4 I usually do draw the mathematical thing for the student. Not for them to count, but for them notice which notes are close. From there, I tend to get them to feel a sense of one hand "triggering" the other. eg. they'd stop on the 2nd triplet note and feel the preceding right hand semiquaver as if it directly causes that note. It's not about the literal execution, but getting a feel for asynchronicity- and the ability to feel that this is natural.
This is where the key difference lies though. If the student thinks literal counting will help get them to the final product, they are barking up the wrong tree. If they stick with this view they will get unmusical and choppy executions that are not even all that precise. However, if they use this exercise to feel awareness of how far away the execution is from precise alignments, they will have freed themself up to allow two separate flows of rhythm to occur
without the brain questioning whether the hands are supposed to be lined up more normally. It's not about learning the exact proportions in these exercises. It doesn't even matter much if you get the rhythm rather imprecise, as long as the interrelations are in the right ballpark. It's more about learning not to question a slightly strange physical sensation when the hands go against each other and try to sync them back up. At this point, if you go back to the simpler idea of learning a flow for each hand and just run them, it's no longer inclined to break down due to interference from the brain about how "odd" it seems.
In short, it's not about feeling the compound rhythm as being in any way relevant. It's just learning
not to care, how odd any particular relationship might feel compared to standard rhythms.
After the brain had been tricked this way no counting was needed and the "flow" and later maybe even ability to feel or hear the two separate rhythms may come.
Exactly. This suggests that it wasn't about the compound rhythm itself- but about freeing yourself up to trust that any weird relationships that come from a simple flow do not need to be "corrected".