I feel completely worthless as a piano player...

[sv3nno]

Hi everyone.
First of all, I'm sorry if you find any mistakes in my text (English is not my native language   )
You might've seen a similar post by me in this forum(quite a long time ago), but i forgot to add quite a lot of stuff there that i wanted to ask, so now I'm gonna post here again to maybe get some more helpful answers from u guys(this thread is gonna be quite long).
I'm 15 years old and I've been playing the piano for 10 (almost 11) years... you might think that, by now, I'm a very good piano player with lots of competition wins... sadly, that's far from the truth...
I'm a very competitive person in nature - when i don't have the chance to show my skills to others or compete against others in that subject, I'm probably going to lose interest in that subject quite fast...
All other piano players (around my age) i know/I've heard of, have been to at least one, or two piano competitions... well, at least when they were much younger. My old teacher, who i studied with for 8 years (started when i was 5) didn't sign me up for no competitions at all. not one, although i was one of the best players in my class (school, possibly) at my age group and i showed up great interest in playing in competitions. So when i was 13, i graduated from that music school and entered a higher music school...and it just went on the same way here - just countless exams... that's all. well lets just say there hasn't been any significant progress in my playing over the past 4-5 years, because there's simply no motivation for me to start practicing harder
My normal practice routine for the past 10 years hasn't been the best... I've always been quite lazy - even though i always do my exams very well (our school has exams for scales too, btw :p).
I've usually practiced for maybe an hour (or a bit more) a day, not every day. I know, that's horrible. my finger technique is bad, too...
But the thing is - i tend to practice a lot more intensely right before my exams, and usually that has been enough. But I've realized that the pieces my teacher gave me to practice for my exams aren't really up to my age standard: Rachmaninoff "prelude in c# minor", Beethoven piano concerto no. 1 (first part), Czerny op. 740 no.4, And a small Bach Prelude and Fugue which names i can't remember right now(i also started playing Chopin's op 10 no. 2 to develop finger independence... that etude is a beast ). I really don't know why I'm being underrated that much.
I've recently decided to spend less time on the computer and more time on the piano - for the past 4 days, I've radically changed my practicing routine - i've been practicing and studying my pieces 3-4 hours a day, fully concentrated, and i AM going to continue practicing that way, every day. So the main question is, do you think that i can make my playing better and make my teacher finally notice me?
Many thanks in advance,
Sven.

[hfmadopter]

If you feel worthless or you don't feel worthless the result is the same, so feeling worthless is wasted energy. I suggest shedding the worthlessness to gain the sense of wisdom in a lesson learned. What am I talking  about ? You fluffed off a bunch of practice time through the years, you now know that doesn't work. Take the lesson from that graciously and move on from here. It sounds like you already have started ! Congratulations for that, be thankful you are waking up !

I can't speak for your teacher ( though they tend to respond positively to students who obviously are trying hard and especially when succeeding at that) but your playing will surely improve with more practice if you practice smart.

[pianist1976]

I'm a very competitive person in nature - when i don't have the chance to show my skills to others or compete against others in that subject, I'm probably going to lose interest in that subject quite fast...

IMHO it's better to compete with oneself and forget about competing with others. Believe me, it makes a big difference!

well lets just say there hasn't been any significant progress in my playing over the past 4-5 years, because there's simply no motivation for me to start practicing harder
My normal practice routine for the past 10 years hasn't been the best... I've always been quite lazy - even though i always do my exams very well (our school has exams for scales too, btw :p).
I've usually practiced for maybe an hour (or a bit more) a day, not every day. I know, that's horrible. my finger technique is bad, too...
But the thing is - i tend to practice a lot more intensely right before my exams,

Playing better and expressing what its inside us must be enough motivation by itself. Anyway, if you want to play at the highest possible level, regularity is key. You may practice 3-4 hours... every day. But try to enjoy your practice time without converting it into a simple mean to achive a goal, enjoy the proccess.

But I've realized that the pieces my teacher gave me to practice for my exams aren't really up to my age standard: Rachmaninoff "prelude in c# minor", Beethoven piano concerto no. 1 (first part), Czerny op. 740 no.4, And a small Bach Prelude and Fugue

Freak the standards! It's not that important what you play as how you play it. Anyway, if you feel that your teacher is asking you to play pieces under your level, you can try to play other pieces. But playing 1 hour a day only a few days a week is not enough time to master very difficult works. Maybe it's time to impress your teacher by playing very well your current repertoire by practicing a lot. If not, you always can try to change teacher...

[slobone]

If you're going to a music school, and you're only practicing one hour a day, you have some kind of conflict within yourself that you haven't resolved yet. That's not so alarming at the age of 15, but you're old enough to really take stock and decide exactly what it is you want out of life. It may not be piano after all -- there's always that possibility.

But if you do decide that that's what you want, the proof will be whether you can figure out how to make more of an effort and take it more seriously. Your current pattern of practicing 3+ hours a day is an excellent start.

If you have a good relationship with your piano teacher, by all means discuss this with him/her. Tell them just what you've told us, and take whatever advice you're given.

[bernadette60614]

We have a phrase in this country "growing pains".  It may sound sadistic, but there is no growth without some discomfort and without realizing that you are falling short of your ideal.

So, what you are experiencing now is WONDERFUL!  You are maturing as a person and as a musician.

Just keep going and cherish those insights cause those will push you forward.

I'm far older than you, and recently resumed piano. My teacher is ruthless..she pushes and pushes and pushes me. Recently, I tried to change teachers and at what I thought was my last lesson she told me that she pushed me because she felt I had ability and persistence...not what she sees in the majority of her students.

So, perhaps having an honest conversation with your teacher about your goals and how to achieve them.  You  may not have the right teacher, or you  may have a teacher who is waiting for you to tell her/him that you are practicing 3 hours a day religiously and want to work on key skills.

[pianoplunker]

I've recently decided to spend less time on the computer and more time on the piano - for the past 4 days, I've radically changed my practicing routine - i've been practicing and studying my pieces 3-4 hours a day, fully concentrated, and i AM going to continue practicing that way, every day. So the main question is, do you think that i can make my playing better and make my teacher finally notice me?
Many thanks in advance,
Sven.

It looks like you have made a decision to change, and re-arrange your priorities. That is the greatest step a person can take to achieve a goal. If your teacher does not notice that and encourage you then you may want to look at your goal of impressing your teacher. Maybe change the goal to entering yourself into a piano competetion somewhere, if that is what you really want. and of course, slaughtering the competetion :-)   Your teacher will want to be a part of that for credit but dont rely on your teacher to make the goal. At the end of the day, it is always up to you. IT looks like you understand that based on your post.