I don't feel very well.

[faa2010]

Hello,

I don't feel very well. Today I did an exam related to audition in order to enter to a music school, but I feel I didn't do it pretty well.

I won't receive the results after 3 weeks, so I will continue feeling nervous about it.

Maybe I will pass, maybe not, I am not sure.

It's a mixture of emotions: I am not sure if it is right to pass or not the exam because all this stress will affect to my preparation of the pieces, but also I am dealing with some personal issues like thinking in changing of job.

I know I am a mess in my mind, but what can I do in the next weeks in order to not think negatively?, what can I do if I don't pass the exam?

[ranniks]

Hello,

I don't feel very well. Today I did an exam related to audition in order to enter to a music school, but I feel I didn't do it pretty well.

I won't receive the results after 3 weeks, so I will continue feeling nervous about it.

Maybe I will pass, maybe not, I am not sure.

It's a mixture of emotions: I am not sure if it is right to pass or not the exam because all this stress will affect to my preparation of the pieces, but also I am dealing with some personal issues like thinking in changing of job.

I know I am a mess in my mind, but what can I do in the next weeks in order to not think negatively?, what can I do if I don't pass the exam?

Hi, I definitely can recognize things in your post. I was nervous for my pre-university requirments, but passed most of them, the final being taken in a few months. Just let it rest and seep in. Keep yourself busy until it's time.

What you can do? Play pieces that sooth you. Exercise and yoga can definitely help as well.

Edit:

How could I have forgotten? The one true thing that saved me from damnation was God. I prayed to him and he took away my bloody worries.

[hfmadopter]

I know I am a mess in my mind, but what can I do in the next weeks in order to not think negatively?, what can I do if I don't pass the exam?

You love music and music responds to love. When you're being is infiltrated with music it won't leave you unless you command it to leave. You and only you are in control of that facet. The exam is one section of roadmap in your musical lifetime/journey. At this point in time you don't even know if it's an important piece in your musical growth, though it seems that way to you today. You will know the answer to that by the end of your journey decades from now.

What you can do is rest assured of what I just said or a version of it in your own way. What is important today, is you have progressed in your knowledge of piano and music to have tried for this exam. You join many here who have performed under pressure, probably more than one time at that. Your journey is beginning not ending though, regardless of the exam results. Because if that was not part of the path mapped out for you then another one will appear, just as sure as I'm typing this . The only thing that can stop you from moving forward on some pathway to more and better musical existance for you, is you !

[bernadette60614]

My advice:

Plan for the worst, but expect the best.

If the best happens, mazeltov!

If the worst happens, you won't be paralyzed by fear, disappointment and self-recrimmination.

And, finally, whatever happens: Be kind to yourself. Effort, passion, discipline is never wasted or lost.

[bronnestam]

Look at your piano and say "my dear friend, I love you!"
Look at your favourite sheet music and say "dear friend, I love you".

Why do you play the piano, really? Because you love it, right? Keep on focusing on this. You have the music inside you now, you have learnt to play this piece and that piece and nobody can take that away from you. What other people say about your playing now will always come in second hand.
People will come and go in your life. Relations will come and go. You will get jobs, lose jobs, make a career in this way or that way, you will be judged, you will pass a test or fail a test. Someone you like will tell you that he/she does not like you and think you are no good.

But your favourite composer (Chopin or whoever it might be) will never leave you. Your piano will remain your faithful companion.

I have a beautiful and very, very sweet dog. He is the kindest creature on earth. He loves me unconditionally, he is my best friend. People often give me compliments because they also think he is lovely.
And he has a good pedigree too, so I've been to some dog shows with him. Sometimes he did well, but most of the times he was dismissed by the judge. "Too big". Or whatever. Do you think I would ever change my mind of my dog because he did not get 1st quality prize in a stupid dog show? I still go home with the most beautiful dog in the world, I don't let a stupid old judge decide how proud I should be of him.

And you must not let some strangers, may they be judges or experts or whatever, decide how much you should love playing the piano. If you are a "failure" or not. Look at all the great pianists in the world who never went to that music school of yours, maybe no music school at all. They made it big anyway. Look at all the great authors who got their manuscripts rejected, or did not make it to the Prestigious University Degree because some dusty old professor did not think they had talent. Remember that whenever you play, there will always be someone who does not like you interpretation, who writes an unfair review or simply dismiss you with a shrug: "not very impressing!"


So, from now on, focus on what really matters. 

[faa2010]

Thank you everyone, I'll try to keep in mind your messages, not only for my piano, but also for my life.

The presentation of both the exam and the audition are part of my development as both pianist and person.  No matter the result of the audition (yes, I passed the exam, hoorray ), but I'll take the best of it.

I did the audition on May the 6th, my performance wasn't very good even if I practiced a lot.  

The teachers detected a lot of faults in my piano, I am depressed now and I don't think I am going to really pass it, but this was a great chance because at least I knew the dynamics and how to improve for the next year.

[hfmadopter]

Thank you everyone, I'll try to keep in mind your messages, not only for my piano, but also for my life.

The presentation of both the exam and the audition are part of my development as both pianist and person.  No matter the result of the audition (yes, I passed the exam, hoorray ), but I'll take the best of it.

Congratulations on all fronts then !