Fear of performing

[sarah14]

I have been playing the piano for about 5-6 years (formal piano lessons), and in my earlier years when I was about 12-14,  I performed perfectly fine. Then a year to a year and a half ago, I had two performances where I completely forgot the piece and there was dead silence for about 10 seconds(which seemed like an eternity). I was able to recover after skipping half the piece and thankfully I didn't run off the stage. Ever since these performances I have been afraid to perform for even my parents. My hands start to shake, and I basically turn into a complete basket case. Do you have any tips for how to overcome this anxiety? I am going to be a music therapy major this fall and will have to perform recitals and juries regularly, so I am kind of nervous.

[birba]

Welcome to the club.  I was sitting on stage at alice tully hall  at one of horowitz's final cocerts and when he came out his hands were shaking so bad he made a mess of the beginning of a scarlatti sonata.  So it's not about getting over your nerves, it's learning how to deal with them.  There's been a lot said about this in several threads on ps.  Look them up.

[m1469]

The most common piece of advice is to practice performing.  And, it's important to treat it like practice; the type of practice where you don't just go through the motions, but where you problem solve as best as you can, and where you expect to have trial and error.  You need to have an environment which allows you the freedom that you personally need to truly practice performing in a problem solving manner.  You'll want to take note through unemotional observation of what didn't work, as well as what did work.  For your sake and your sake alone, you will want to be capable of identifying what didn't work and then make a plan for next time, and don't apologize.  Magnify the good for the sake of building upon it.

Fear is an experience of perception.  Sometimes this experience is so intense it is like an opaque wall that blocks out everything else.  Your goal is to start to see through it with a higher or wiser perception.

I know somebody who was deathly afraid of flying.  Along with everything else, he hated landing because he said it always felt so bumpy and that could make him feel as though it were out of control.  That perception created an experience of fear for him during these times.  One day, he sat safely on the ground by an airport and watched plane after plane coming in for a landing.  Each one of them landed perfectly safely.  After several days of this and after having watched hundreds of planes land, he noted that every time, the plane looked completely steady and perfectly in control.  The opposite of how he felt when he was sitting inside of the plane vs. being on the ground, watching them.  From the ground, he observed the steadiness he saw in the planes, and imagined himself on the inside of the plane, experiencing the bumpiness and considered the fear this could bring.  This observation made an impression on him and he realized that his fear was just perception, and false perception at that.  As he flew in times after, when he would be sitting in the plane, coming in for a landing, and feeling the bumps, he imagined himself instead sitting on the ground near the airport, watching the plane steadily, perfectly, come in for a landing.  And this would ease the fear.

I think there is something similar with performing.  Both in the immediate circumstances, but overall and as you gain experience watching others and as you gain experience performing yourself.  You can start to develop a perception that goes beyond the immediate circumstances, and you can start to see past the cloudiness of the experience of fear.

In birba's example of Horowitz, why do you think Horowitz kept playing?  Why didn't he just get up and call it quits?  Because he knew from experience it wouldn't last, so even though he may have been experiencing some discomfort, he could see through it in a way that made it so he could keep going.  We have to find our own way of doing that.

[Bob]

Just perform.  Get back on the horse.  Pick something small that's easily doable just to do a performance. Or fake a performance -- Record yourself and convince yourself that an audience might be listening to that recording later.  (You never know, someone might hear it who you didn't expect...) And develop your own strategy to deal with blanking out -- Like picking points in the piece you can play cold -- or practicing performing more so it never happens in the first place.

Maybe change how you think about performances too. 

[sirpazhan]

i totally agree with the comments above... 'welcome to the club' hahah.. not everyone is born with 'nerves of steel' for the less fortunate,, we need to build on this like we build on our skill and technique.. its another part of performing in itself.

What I found effective is recording myself play.  I've always found that when knowing your performance is being recorded, my senses would heighten from the pressure of playing accurately.  Also, I would ask a single person if they would sit through a simple performance, just privately... then I'd slowly build up,, two, then three.. I'd start doing mini-recitals, very private,, just friends and family.  Get into the habit of playing in front of people.  sooner or later you'll develop confidence within yourself. 

In the beginning, put some humor into your performance to ease the pressure,, say "I'm going to play a piece of music, and I'm going to play mistakes throughout.. I want you to tell me how many you find"

and always remember,, practice,, and practice more,, .. g'luck. 

[sarah14]

Thank you everyone for your replies! I'm glad I'm not alone. Thank you all for your ideas! I am going to begin "practicing" performing more often to see if I can rebuild my confidence.

[dima_76557]

I am going to begin "practicing" performing more often to see if I can rebuild my confidence.

This is OK but there is one very important element missing: How? Please read this topic about the positive mindset you need while practising:
https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php?topic=49677.0

[pianopfile]

i think for most people, extensive practice is the key to overcome the fear of performing.
for some people tho, like me, it never goes away... i have had countless recitals and performances, and yet still, my hands shake a bit before i start playing (not so bad anymore) but my feet, lol... they sometimes shake so bad it makes pedaling impossible

[doreen]

I once had a Jazz teacher tell me not to worry about performing because "you're always only a note away from a good note" if you are in the key of C and you accidently play an F sharp just go to a G etc. This was the most freeing thing I've ever heard.

 Also realize most of us are never completely happy with our playing. Not to mention the fact that the average person does not know the difference. Think of the figure skaters, do you notice all those mistakes? Probably not because you don't have a trained eye. Most people don't have a trained ear.

Keep playing and don't worry about it. You sound alot better than you think you do.

[birba]

They say that liszt, when he hit a wrong note, would improvise on it and work back to the music at hand.  How times have changed.

[emill]

The basics still apply and will be the same formula where performance is required.

As some have already suggested ...  the chances of "mistakes" are lessened with practice, practice and more practice. Practice builds up one's confidence. Mistakes are part of the endeavor and as the professor of my son always reminds him .... do not be afraid to commit mistakes and to take risks... even the masters do commit mistakes.

The more public performances and recitals you do makes the whole thing easier to one's nerves. You become more and more familiar with how things work.  Just like driving a vehicle .... the more driving you do, the less you are strained and stressed.  As they say, just do it and give your best.  Make it perhaps an objective to perform at least once or twice a year.

And perhaps you can learn to mentally block out the audience as if you were performing or just practicing without them. Pretend you are different person, performing for yourself. My son claims to be successful in this and he is often surprised at some of his actions, manners and expression ....  as if he were  a different person when shown videos of his performance.  It seems to be quite effective in his case.

Good luck!    

[piano6888]

I have experienced stage fright before and oddly during my teenage years more than that of childhood years.  Ironically I think my cause is due to the fact of puberty and changed perceptions of the audience.  As people get older they tend to fear that others will be judging them whereas a kid would do as he/she pleases and not care what the world thinks of him/her.  I did however, manage to pull through during my Senior recital and not panic. 

So anyways to answer your question, I would recommend knowing the piece backwards and forwards and also memorizing the piece in different checkpoints.  By learning the different checkpoints within a piece, you will be able to recap or resume from there if you have a memory lapse.  Then on stage, I would just blot out everything that is around you (that's what I did during my Senior recital- in an audience of 200+ people) and only focus on the music itself.  When you do make a mistake, remember not to panic or just stop, but try to recall the most recent checkpoint and resume from there.  Finally, don't over-rehearse right before the concert, that should be the time in which you relax and do your best.